I Don’t Wanna Cry Daddy

There was a time when I used to write poems when I was sad and had to ease my pain. I wanted to tell the whole world how miserable I am and how painful my life is. I don’t know why but I liked receiving pity. No one could imagine what I went through, and I tried hard to shout and tell everyone here in blog-o-sphere. May be it was my way of a catharsis. Everyone here, specially some beautiful friends helped me so much emotionally.

Then things changed and I stopped writing poetry. Pain was a strong driving force for me to write. It’s intensity lessened. So did my interest in writing. I just wrote a poem again, after I guess two or so years. It’s my life story, more or less. I don’t remember how to use fancy words and amazing allegoric phrases. It is a very simple poem written in very very simple and plain words. There would be many poetic mistakes, but it comes straight from my heart, that weeps right now.

Is it worth reading or not, that’s upon you to decide.

 

Full of life, shinning eyes

Energetic box of chatter

I don’t wanna cry daddy

She writes him a letter

 

Shivering hands holding a pen

Scribbles on paper damp with tears

She shows him her bruised heart

Filled with heartbreaking fears

 

I am in so much pain , daddy

It doesn’t go, no matter what I do

You are so far away from me

All I need is a hug from you

 

As I laid with head on your arm

Be happy always, you used to say

May you never guess grief in my laugh

Now, while on the telephone I pray

 

You used to call me your innocent fairy

Guess what daddy, the innocence was gone

Long before my sensitive heart needed love

And I searched for it in strangers unknown

 

I needed a friend daddy, to share tales

To listen to my problems, hold my hand

While you were busy earning money

Life tore me apart, turned me to sand

 

My nights became so agonizing and long

Burning wounds, dying soul, bloody eyes

I cried and cried daddy I was so lonely

But in the day I covered it all with lies

 

And then you married me off to far away land

I saw you cry while you gave away my hand

I had a chance to tell you what I went through

Instead, I’m happy, I silently made you understand

 

This time daddy, after a few years

I went through the same heart break

The demons under my bed followed

The curse once again kept me awake

 

The pain tortured your little girl daddy

She needed the mask she used to wear

People changed, circumstances different

But the old depression won’t disappear

 

But guess what daddy, all that suffering

After mourning all night for so many years

Your girl refused to live and enjoy misery

She fought with her demons, faced her fears

 

Tears and pain made her strong

She fought and got her Allah back

Blocked memories that ate her flesh

Forced her dead soul back on track

 

Love and Pain both here but outlook changed

Heart silent, loneliness there but no despair

Still afraid of watching dreams as they shatter

But refusing to live in misery, I stopped to care

 

Remember the day when you were sick

Devastated, love you daddy, I cried aloud

Your little girl daddy, is all grown up

And all I wish is to make you proud

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Just Sharing A Thought…

You know the thing that suffocates you till you can’t breathe anymore? That’s a wish. And then that dark shadow that occupies your mind and shuts off the light of your eyes just before making you unconscious? That’s despair. And then a sudden air that forces it’s way up your nose and mouth and pumps your heart very hard and makes you feel alive again? That’s hope.

It is raining outside. Whenever it rains, my heart talks nonsense just like that.

I don’t hate rains like other people do here (By here I mean, here, In the city where I live now. where weather is cold almost throughout the year).

Rain is still like a mystery to me. I haven’t experienced getting wet in it with hands stretched in the air and face towards the sky. I don’t know what it feels like to sit on the stairs in front of my home with a mug of coffee in hands and staring at the rain drops pouring on the ground beside me. I don’t know the warmth of hugging someone special while standing in the rain showers. I’d also like to scream and laugh out loud in the streets though there might be a risk of being caught in this.

All I have seen of rain is from my window glass, while reading a book or staring outside purposelessly. Sad, Quiet.I want to know it more but I am scared. I am scared that if I’d know and experience everything about rain that’s mystery to me now, what will I do then? There would be nothing left to wonder about. It will all be over.

Then, I’ll start hating it like others.

I know that’s absurd. I am being strangely honest. I am so scared of taking one step further and I don’t know when this habit took control of me. I can just think and think for hours of getting out of my comfort zone but I have no courage to step out practically. I am not brave enough.

May be I am still circling around into the darkness of despair or may be, I am breathing that fresh air of hope but I haven’t realized it’s there.

The Meaning Of Motivation Changed.

A sign of motivation for me

Self  desire for actuation, some valid motivation

Lift up the soul enervated, with a new cognition

 

By the moment I complain of heartache unbearable

A person gets back his life, when heart beats go stable

Survival from a heart operation, his contentment grow

The meaning of “Pain” clarifies itself into a sacred vow

 

By the moment I blubber missing my Love forsaken

An infant cries for the lap of his  Mother forever taken

Craving for his Mother’s touch, his hollowness grow

The meaning of “urge” bounds itself into a sacred vow

 

By the time I sob encountering nights sorrowful, sleepless

A person couldn’t sleep of his hunger growing limitless

In the need of food, His chastity of gratitude grow

The meaning of “want” enslaves itself into a sacred vow

 

By the moment I refuse to see the hope of future bright

Optimistic dreams are seen by a person with no eyes

Wishing for a better life, His frenzy eagerness grow

The meaning of “hope” confines itself into a sacred vow

 

By the moment I refuse to thank, by the time I do complaint

The poor,The orphan,The needy ,The injured and the quaint

Satisfy themselves for what they have, as the life grow

The meaning of “Life” envisages itself into a sacred vow

 

Desire is the key to motivation,a changed definition

A pinch of enthusiasm, A heap of determination !

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Image Credits: http://www.eidhi.org.

Dungeon Prompts – Season 2 Week 1: Motivation.

Today’s Daily Prompt was NEW so this is my newest motivation.

Truth That Consumed Her -A Short Story

Who am I ? Where am I ? Many questions bubbled onto the surface her mind as she opened her eyes. At first she couldn’t see anything, her vision was blurred with a thin white sheet of mist.

She was laying in a small room. A dim yellow light was trying to make her vision clear but it couldn’t. She tried to move her arms and after struggling for a while, they were in a position to let her sit with her back resting along the headboard.

A bouquet of withered old flowers was resting on the side table along with a tray of tablets. A fan was running slowly on the ceiling which could produce no air but only an unpleasant noise. Her bed was white colored, made of steel. Soon she figured out that she was in a hospital. But why ? What happened to her ? She searched for wounds on her body but couldn’t find any. She tried to move her body off the bed but she wasn’t able to move it. She tried to call out, words stuck in her throat.

———————————————————————

“Yes my darling I will take you both to the zoo in the evening” She spoke in her soft voice wrapped in love while driving the car.

“But we want to go now Mama” Both her twin kids who were the world to her were insisting.

“Today is your first day at school my Love, you can’t skip it. Mama promises you that she’ll take you to the zoo”

“Okay pinky promise?” They both forwarded their tiny hands with cute smiles on their faces.

She smiled and touched their fingers with her’s and kissed them both on their foreheads. She had tears in her eyes while watching them enter the school gate….Tears that are precious like white pearls in the ocean….like a mother’s love….like the first rain…..pure !

She turned back and was crossing the road when suddenly she felt herself in the air….the ground beneath her feet was gone and her mind blacked out.

——————————————————————–

“How the hell am I supposed to let her live in my home?”

“She is still my wife, why can’t you understand that? Doctors said there are 1% chances of her coming out of the coma and that 1% chance saved her like a miracle.Where the hell is she supposed to go now?”

“I don’t know anything. I have given my 15 years to this home. I have been taking care of her kids for 15 years and now she is here to take control of my home? I can’t let this happen ever”

“She is not in a position of taking control of your house. She is on the wheel chair for God’s sake!! Let her live in a corner of our house. She won’t interfere in your matters, I guarantee that ! I know her……”

She heard a loud sound like someone has thrown a plate on the ground…..And she heard the rest of that too.

———————————————————————

“Ali?“

“Yes my love“

“Can we be more happier and satisfied than we are now? Can life be better than this?” She was staring at the countless stars on the dark black sky, glittering and glowing like her eyes.

“I don’t think so” He kissed her hand while looking at her and smiled.

“But it can be if you make me a cup of coffee right now?” she stared at his face where a naughty smile and pure love was gleaming.

“Okay but this is the last time”

“My darling wife I love you” He cried and She giggled.

——————————————————————–

“Why is she here brother I don’t like her. You know mom told me that she was bad and she was never there for us when we needed her. I hate her”

“She was in a coma for 15 years ! She need us now”

She didn’t listen to her brother.

While leaving the room she saw her pulling the wheelchair towards her room holding a plate with two burgers in her hands.

She recalled, they loved burgers when they were kids.

———————————————————————

He is standing on a freshly made grave covered with red roses. He is crying hard with his hands stretched in the air. Why Allah? Why did you do that to my mother? No one needed her but I did. Why did you snatch the only happiness I had after 15 years? Why? Tears were flowing down his cheeks and collecting on his neck as he continued……

Here lies a wife and a mother who was best of both at one time. She returned to the world to have a second chance but cold truth and cruel realities didn’t let her avail it. Here lies a girl consumed by nothing but truth…Truth that can be like roses at one time and like thorns for the other. As they say,”Truth is rarely pure and never simple”.

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Related:

The Daily Prompt: TRUTH.

Black Magic ?

People imply that it was

Black magic

that ate her up

like worms eat up the woods.

She was transformed

From an elegant glowing beauty

To

an awful filthy mess.

She had flesh on her bones

but no impulse.

Like a lifeless corpse

her face turned pale black,

her soul departed her body

taking away the shine

in her eyes.

She was Dead for

the world.

No one knew, except me;

she was bitten by ‘Life’

And I swear

I heard her silent breaths !!

=============================================

**Please vote for me if you liked my poem, O’ Moon You Were The Spectator ! . For voting, Please click the following link : Speak Easy at Yeah Write. Read the other great entries too and vote for them. You can vote for total three entries. All entries are present at the bottom of the page.

Thank you 🙂

A post written in response to Daily Prompt: Do you Believe in Magic?

Image credits: VUsolutions.com.

Story Of A 2064’s Grand-Ma !

1990’s -When people used to think ‘real ideas’

1990’s :

Mom and Daughter:

Mom: Where are you going my darling?

Daughter: To play with my friends Mommy, we have invented a new game and the idea was mine !

Mom: Wow ! That’s good. Your brainwaves are so innovative. Go play but don’t go too far.

Daughter: Okay, Mommy.

Brother And Sister:

Brother: I have discovered a new library and they have the best books collection.

Sister: Oh wow, Please give me its address.

Brother: No, you first tell me the story of book you just read.

Sister: Okay.

Grand Daughter And Grand Ma:

Grand Daughter: Please tell me the stories of your past Grand-Ma !

Grand Ma: Okay sweetheart, Come here sit in my lap and I will tell you many stories.

Grand Daughter: Yay ! Thanks Grand-Ma.

xx_____________________xx

2013 – When Ideas went online !

2013 :

Mom and Daughter:

Mom: Where are you going sweetheart ?

Daughter: In my room Mommy ! I am working on a new website. The idea was mine.

Mom: Wow ! That’s good. Your brainwaves are so innovative. Go but please come out for lunch.

Daughter: Okay, Mommy !

Brother And Sister:

Brother: I have discovered the fastest torrent website online.

Sister: Please give me it’s address, I have to download a movie.

Brother: No, First remove that weird photo of me with our family you have posted on your face book.

Sister: Okay.

Grand Daughter and Grand Ma:

Grand Ma: Have you checked my new post on my blog ?

Grand Daughter: Sorry Grand-Ma I didn’t get time.

Grand Ma: Okay I am un-friend-ing you on Face book !!

xx_____________________xx

2064 – When we’d be the weirdest Grand Parents !

2064:

Mom and Daughter:

Daughter : Mommy ! My friend told me today that long ago there were people who don’t used to have sharp brains like us but they were energetic and used to think of bright ideas about life.

Mommy: No sweetheart don’t think about that. Save your brainwaves. Go recharge your brain.

Grand Ma standing besides them, Smiles !

Grand Daughter and Grand Ma:

Grand Ma: Come sweetheart we are playing the latest version of Grand Theft Auto ! It is amazing.

Grand Daughter: No, Grand Ma ! You play. I have to go with my Android friends.

Grand Ma smiles again !

xx_____________________xx

This weird post is written in response to Daily Prompt: Brainwave.

Credits:

First photo : SHADY.

Second and Third: Google.

 

Education Means Enlightened hearts, Not Straight A’s !

Cute little kids with shining eyes and huge heavy school bags on their shoulders…. This is what comes to my mind when I think about schools.

Life is a race. The one who stops, fails. You have to run fast to achieve your goals and this running fast for a school kid means he has to study hard to get good grades. He has to pass four exams and many tests in one year with excellent marks. He has to be brilliant in studies and has to answer his teacher’s questions during lectures. He must shine in studies no matter how shining he is or not in his real life. 

On the other hand teachers have to cover a huge syllabus in one year. They have to check home works of hundreds of students everyday and papers four times a year. They have a fixed time for their lecture and they sometimes have to deliver consecutive lectures without any break. They don’t know the names of students in their class. They sometimes do remember the names of some top students and some bottom ones. All they worry about is how excellent is the result of their class at the end of year.

This is our school system.This is our education system about. A number of big school buildings with high fees and charges for admission have been constructed in a past few years. They don’t care about the quality of education, quantity is the only thing that matters. An innocent kid enters school and a cramming youngster passes out after 10 years. No one keeps a record of what he has learnt that would help him in his life? What are the improvements in his personality and attitude ? How strong is his character and how confident are his aims? All that matters is a result card with stars and excellent grades and straight A’s.

The real question isn’t about the problems. It is about the solutions. In my opinion, If people stop using education system as a means of earning money and start thinking honestly about the future of our youngsters, these problems can be solved. And if teachers think more about character building and less about the syllabus and students think more about correcting themselves and less about getting good grades. Obviously this is possible only if there is no pressure on their heads.

Our grand-Ma’s and Grand-Pa’s are more intelligent and have more wisdom then our parents and us. They didn’t even go to schools. Then from where did they learn all this ? We don’t learn wisdom from schools. We learn wisdom by experiencing life and this is possible only if we keep our eyes open. Problems these children have to face in real life can’t be solved by Maths formulas or equations. Nor is their depression lessened by arithmetic and geometry. It requires wisdom and courage which comes only if you have an open mind and enlightened heart.

Napoleon once said, “Give me educated Mothers and I will give you an educated Nation“. He surely don’t meant Mothers with brilliant grades but he meant Mother’s with wisdom and open hearts. That is what education is all about. You may have read about Bill gates story, how he was not a good student and his friend was a brilliant one; and now He is the owner of Microsoft and his friend is his employee. Albert Einstein couldn’t even speak when he was four and his teachers were of the opinion that he wouldn’t make anything of himself. Benjamin Franklin was dropped out of school at age ten. History is full of examples like that.

No doubt studying is important to earn a good living . But more important than that is keeping mind and heart open, pondering upon the nature, experiencing life to enlighten our hearts and most importantly trying, trying again no matter how many times we fail ! We will be educated then, in true means.

A post written in response to Daily Prompt: The New School.

 

 

When Money Killed Him

A dark room

Full of spiders and

Piles of gold and Money

Ruby, Emerald , Diamonds

Lustrous Treasure

And he trapped inside

 

Tired was his body after

Searching a way out

Tired was his soul after

Searching for life

A vivid hallucination

Occupies him

 

How many fat lies

He has spoken

How many innocent people

He has betrayed

For the same money;

Lying under his feet

 

It can’t buy- eternal happiness

Nor can it buy

Love and friendship

No calm good night sleep

Not even his freedom

 

Regrets amplified

Embarrassment multiplied

His incessant repentance

All his life, He ran behind

A void abstract glitter

That was gone

 

Cursed of being Rich

With gold and diamonds

Around his body

He died of ‘Money’

Long before his death

By hunger and thirst.

 

A post written in response to Daily Prompt: You’re a Winner!

While Taking A Photograph -A Moment Of Clarity

Me and my uncle share a special connection. We’d meet at holidays once a year and that time proves to be a crucial time for me. He has three kids who are no different than the chipmunks, I be the Alvin. They turn my house upside down in front of my eyes and I could do nothing but change my positions sitting on my couch, trying to control my anger. While at the same time my uncle cleans out every eatable in my fridge.

I remember an incident from the last time he visited me. He needed a photograph for his passport and asked me to help him. I knew my life is in danger as it was his utmost duty to ruin family group photos every time. Even though, I agreed. I had to.

I take a glance of him through the lens of my camera. He is sitting on a chair with a broken leg (thanks to his kids) and looking right towards me. I notice some gradual changes in his appearance. His face turns more red and his eye-brows move some more towards his head and closer to his nose. His jaws seems like coming out of his skin. A thin red vein is visible on his neck and it feels stretched like a rubber band. His eyes bulge out even more as if he has seen a zombie coming towards him. He is still – I feel like he’d give a sound of  ‘tunn – tunn’ if I hit him with a stick.

I was horrified. Before I could pull out my head and ask him, I hear a strange sound. Like someone has made a hole in a Tyre and air is blowing out with pressure.

I figured out, he just had his moment of clarity. Do you had ?

_________________________________________

A post written in response to Daily Prompt: Moment of Clarity

Credits: 

Idea taken from a lesson in my Urdu book of 6th or 7th grade, I don’t remember now exactly.

Image: Imagesss.com

Scary Enough ?

Daily Prompt: I Was Here

You are the first astronaut to arrive on a new, uncharted planet. Write the note that you leave to those who come after you.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us CARTE BLANCHE.

Here is my note :

Scary Enough ?

A Mystic Indulgence

 

In Nature’s Dungeon

Incessant quest of sublime self

A mystic Indulgence

Image Credits: MAGDALENA LUTEK’S WISTFUL WOMEN.

A haiku done for Daily Prompt: The Best Day Ever

An Excruciating Spasm Of Guilt

Lies inside her silvered heart

A golden memory wrapped in layers of mist

And a guilt torn apart

Tiny finger wrapped in warmth

Of embrace of her graceful Mother’s hands

As she teaches her to walk forth

Having lunch on the first day

At school, feeling touch of her mother’s hand on bread

Smiles the shine in her eyes grey

While kids play with toys, she pour

Her innocent wishes to her Mother’s mind -laying in her lap

As her Mother teaches her to endure

Having a single meal that day

She Glances at her Mother sleeping peacefully- and recall

She had nothing but water today

As grains of sand slip through hand

Time flew by, fading her childhood in mystic wraps

Now she was a girl strong enough to stand

Cherished was the ethereal time

Befallen under shadows of her Mother’s Love Divine

Problems dimmed by the wind chimes

With a flash her world shattered

Broken was her Mother’s heart, by her words angry and harsh

-She left with tears flooded

And came back on a stretcher

Wounded-Lifeless her Mother’s lies on blood filled white sheet

With a brand new shawl there

Woman who walked with her mother;told

She bought this shawl for her beloved daughter

To make her anger cold

Mind paralyzed and confused

She looked at her Mother’s feet- and Remembered she had

No money to buy shoes.

A post written in response to The Daily Prompt.

Five Steps To Establish A New Planet Lazily

Okay so today’s daily prompt has just given me fits of giggles. I haven’t seen this type of insanely ridiculous topic ever in daily prompt. I guess the author of daily prompt may be scared of The walking dead Apocalypse or he/she is missing Terra Nova these days. Either ways, the idea of designing another planet seems funny. I would like to run my imagination wild anyway. Did I mention he/she called it Inter-planet Janet ? 😀

Step 1: Assigning a name:

Earth Burger would be nice, eh ?

The planet we live on is Earth. We have Mars, Jupiter and Saturn etc as our neighbors. I mean don’t all of these names sound boring to you ? The name of a planet should be of some delicious food like dark chocolate fudge or cheese cake or something like chicken chili or Biryani or large chicken pizza with some extra cheese…hhmmmm !!… ( Sorry, that was my belly ). Just imagine every time you call the name of your planet, your mouth will be filled with water. Instead of saying “I swear to Mother Earth” you’ll say “I swear to Mother Chocolate fudge” and all your worries except of food will disappear. Or if you are not a food junkie like me, why not call it ‘The Lazy Earth’ ? I know there is a lazy person hidden inside each one of you. It is time to pay tribute to him.

Step 2: Designing Weather And Seasons:

Make the sun rise with your thumb !

While living on Earth and experiencing its technological developments, I got into the habit of doing things by just clicking a button. A touch on a touch screen works well too. So I would like to give every inhabitant of my planet a device with lots and lots of buttons, each button for a different season and climate. They will have the sun rise and sun fall whenever they want. They will have rain and a romantic cloudy windy weather in one click. Mummies of my planet won’t have to worry about waking their children up with the sun rise even on Sundays and couples won’t have to worry about having a date in romantic weather. And lazy people like me will keep turning on the night mode and sleeping whole day. Being lazy is a ‘THING’ don’t you know ?

Step 3: Providing Some Unique Necessities:

Water,air and food being the necessities of life is out dated. Earth is full of sharp wise people who love irritating innocent lazy people like me. My planet would be a lovely place for the lazy ones. I have designed some equipment in my mind that would be a part of every home on my planet. A short list of which includes:

1-  Automatic Bed Maker:

See the magic !

Yes ! Don’t laugh. I hate it when every morning my mom instead of asking me to sleep more , shouts at me for not making my bed. I have to stop this violence. My beloved lazy people have to stand beside the bed and say the magic spell “O bed, Make yourself ! ” and BOOM……!!

2-The Lazy Mug:

Who wants coffee ?

This mug stirs the coffee automatically so you don’t need to move your hands anymore to stir it with a spoon. Now you can enjoy bed tea in winters without worrying about your laziness.

3- The automatic book reading chair:

Excited ?

Yes you have guessed it right. This chair do wonders. It holds your book , automatically turns its pages for you and move the book in whatever direction you want. I have added an additional function in it. It can also read for you in its own voice if you are not in a mood to use your mind. Yeah you have to still move your eye balls for watching pictures.Don’t worry, I will invent something to avoid it soon !

4- Automatic Pancake Maker:

I have a crush on food since childhood so…

This machine will make your mornings easier specially if you have to make breakfast for the whole family. Forget about making pancakes in pans…nah! Use this machine. It can save your several precious seconds.

5- The sock buddy:

Best buddy in winters

Hate doing hard work for pulling up socks in winters? Here’s the solution. The best buddy in winters. Happy winters.

Step 4: Choice of Inhabitants:

 

When Mr. Bean meets Justin Bieber !

Any creature like Mr.bean or Justin Bieber will be accepted here. Every person should have one weird quality and they will be registered through that quality. I don’t need violence so leave your guns at home. Cooks and chefs who can make delicious food for me are warmly welcomed. All the fashion Divas and hot movie heroes should come. I love Keanu Reeves so he will have a special guest treatment here. People who think they are ‘something’ are restricted. Teachers are restricted too as they have tortured our innocent civilization so much. Robots are welcomed. Dudes with fake 6 packs and girls with plastic surgeries of everything have a special place here. Hot white dudes with blue eyes and foreign accent should pack their bags already. Aliens from Mars are invited to pay visits frequently. Welcome home buddies !

Step 5: Executing The Above Mentioned Plans:

Dozing Off…..

Eww Hard work ? And this soft bed….I should better sleep.

 

 

 

 

An Open Letter To ‘Him’

Hey, Love !

Today is the day. Yes it is the day to finally tell you how I feel about you. Isn’t sharing our feelings with each other a rare thing for us now ?

Three whole years have passed by. Many years have yet to come. And you were there with me, like a shadow protecting a small nourishing plant with light green leaves and maiden buds, lying under the blue sky without any shelter but your shadow. You were there, right beside me by the dusk and dawn of my life… Through the most crucial times and the ecstatic ones. In my life’s dilemmas  whenever I have looked towards you with question marks in eyes, your words “I am here” have always proved out to be the best answers.

I reminisce the time when you told me that you love me , right after a week or so of seeing me. I was mad at you. Back then I didn’t believe in love  or most precisely ‘love at first sight‘ . I thought you may be like the other hundreds and thousands. I never knew you were ‘The One‘ . I broke your heart but I felt the pain myself. And when I realized that I love you too, it was too late. ‘Things‘ have not been at our side lately, Love. They never will be. Nature may not accept us as one but our hearts will keep this feeling sealed inside firmly.

“Your cheeks are so soft like a baby’s” , I said. And you smiled. If I was a painter, I would be painting by pouring out colors of you on the canvas. You are beautiful. Your dark brown eyes still haunt me at nights leaving me stunned by their charm. Your broad forehead where I used to write my name with my finger and your hands so firm yet delicately holding mine…. Your hair… I can still feel their smoothness on my fingers. Your fragrant breath perfuming mine. That sense of protection I have felt as you en-wrap me in your arms has no comparison. Your warm embrace always melts my frozen body. I can give away everything I have to get it back. I feel so weak and vulnerable without you. The way you used to hold my hands while driving and the way we used to eat together so comfortably is unforgettable.Your decency impressed me at first and your confident personality made me fall for you. You are beautiful, Love is beautiful.

I cherish every single time when I had your shoulder while crying away my miseries. I know staying with me emotionally is never been easy on you. No one could stay with a highly depressed bipolar patient but you did. I don’t see your face for months but your voice always has a magical effect on me. You have been my best friend. You know my every secret, every little detail about me. Things I have never shared to anyone. I revealed myself to you.And you have never let me down for this. You hide your problems just not to make me worry. The fact that you care for me and  I am important to you means everything to me. You once said , “I am nothing, with you I am everything” and I engraved those words on my heart. I trust you and I believe in you, Love.

I have always been complaining to you about how you are not giving me enough of your time to talk and you were not there when I needed you. I apologize to you for all those complaints today. I got you and I thought I have got a magical prince who will understand me without me sharing anything and who will stay with me all the time. I was living with you in a fantasy world. All my dreams and wishes are tied to you. Every time they break, I break. My life has never been anything more than pain and heart aches. You are my only medicine. I look up to you for everything Love. Let me live in the fantasy world. Coming in the reality scares me. Reality is bitter. Life is bitter.

They ask me to tell why do I cherish you. I cherish you because you are mine. I cherish our seraphic relationship. I cherish you because we stood up together against the nature who exerted its full effort to make us apart. We may not be together like people use to be in this world but we will be together in our own way, forever. Hot tears trickle through my eyes and slip through my cheeks as I write this. People say Love is pain. I say abandoned Love is pain.

Let us live in our own fantasy world. Let us make a home there by a river under green trees. Let us listen to the birds chirp and fresh breeze’s music together. Let us walk hand in hand in the moon light leaving foot prints on the sand. Let us get absorbed in the symphony of rain drops.Let us enjoy snow fall in December nights.Let us build our dreams again.Let us fall into silence as words have always been useless between us. Let us sing the songs of peace and compose our own tunes. Let us dive into the valley of Love and search for the exquisite pearls of happiness and contentment. Let us solve the paradox of life together. Let us breathe without our artificial masks in the fresh air. Let us forget the realities for a moment.Let us be ourselves. Let us live, Love and laugh together as we are one. We are made for each other. I love you and I will love you forever.

                                                                                                                                                           With Love,

Your one and only Love.

This post is written in response to Daily Prompt: My Number One.

Forgive And Forget ?

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Forgiveness; A renowned trait possessed by our Lord. As we are that Lord’s creation, He puts bits of His traits inside us.

Repentance; A trait possessed by us only as we are puppets of vice who commit crimes at times and repent for them at other times.

We Repent , He forgives.

What if we repent , do other humans forgive ?

I have been clutched to the past chapters of my life’s book through the same hook;forgiveness. Some lessons were learnt, some people were forgiven but I never was able to forget those people and circumstances. I never could. I feel like those happenings were paramount elements towards revolutionizing ‘Me’. The person I am now is absolutely different from the person I used to be. Back then, I had no idea how atrocious and merciless life can prove to be. Bitter enough to change an entire person’s nature. Who says Nature can not be changed ? I invite him to meet me.

I have been walking continuously through this journey called life, carrying an unwanted burden of crushed trust, broken promises, betrayal and abandoned love on my weak shoulders. I never knew that friends could behave like worst enemies and people who are unknown to you can use their full effort to destroy you out of jealousy , until life decided to teach me lessons. Lessons that were undesired but ample.

A very dear friend of mine who continued stabbing my back and when I found out, it was too late. I forgave her and never made her realize in what crucial ways her actions have affected my entire life. But I never managed to forget her. Another incident has just evolved on my mind, when I was accused of doing an act that is considered as a big sin in our culture and society , by some gross people, in public. I fought hard to prove my innocence. I was my own lawyer back then, and the judge was the whole society around me. I lacked confidence and logic but I fought , with truth as my weapon. That was the first time I felt my breath freezing inside me when no one trusted me at that time. Pain exploded out of every inch of my body but I chose silence , as a strong character was the only sacred thing I had. I was not ready to compromise it in public. Later on when the same people who didn’t trust me before, came to know the truth they automatically started respecting me. The people who accused me apologized and I forgave them. My silence proved to be the best revenge as I am seeing those people failing in every step of life in front of my eyes from four years now. And I have a firm belief; Even if you forgive people who accuse you for their amusement, Nature takes revenge at any cost .

With this, I close my book. I hope Someday , someone rewrites these agonizing chapters of my life with the ink of happiness and contentment. Hope is the key after all.

This post is written in response to Daily Prompt: Forgive and Forget?