Can You See My Fingers Bleed?

I was planning to write poetry or fiction for some challenge today and here I am, sitting, staring at my laptop screen with my vision getting blurred every few seconds. I wipe my eyes with my already damp hands and start staring at the screen again. I feel an urge to hug my laptop right now or kiss it. And I feel an urge to go out for a walk in the woods with my laptop and never come back to my real world.

I have got the best friends, brothers and sisters here with the help of this little box, a machine. Who knew machines would be understanding feelings more than humans, someday ? Technological advancement or Humanity decline ? I know If I’d cry right now, there would be someone sitting right beside their computer ready to embrace me with their words. I know if I’d share my darkest feelings and the most strange emotions there would be people understanding these without judging me.

Unknown people who have no idea who am I and where I belong, what my country, cast and religion is. People who just know that there is some soul out there, craving for their sympathetic words. Craving for the Love that real world failed to give it. Craving for the care that everyone wants, but doesn’t get it. Craving for someone who could listen, just listen to what it had to say. To listen to the rants of a restless soul.

The time I spent crying while laying in the dark, for 20 years is spent writing now. My fingers dance on the keyboard of this very old model, slow laptop and ‘words’ come out along with the silent tears. My tears cried for 20 years and it is time to give them some rest while I let my fingers cry out loud. There is a difference, no one listened to my crying tears but now everyone listens to my bleeding fingers.

No matter how hopeless and depressed my real life is, my virtual life is awesome. I got to understand life, happiness and care –  The strange words which don’t exist in my real life dictionary. In this life, I am not a depressed bipolar soul….I am the queen of my world, my blog ! I walk here with pride, that my real life can’t snatch away from me. This is my world…The people here are my friends…My beloved online community is the best thing I have….And I am grateful for everything this virtual world has offered me.

Words can’t express my gratitude and Love but my tears can. And I know you can see my fingers bleed, while reading my wounded words.

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Linking to Daily Prompt and Dungeon Prompts : Community. Head over to Speak Easy to vote for my story “Waiting for a dead promise” If you like it. Do read and vote for other awesome submissions too.

Why ?

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Sacredness makes me strong

Blessed with wings but I creep along

Carving words of silence, I sing a song

In Meadows, Beyond ideas of right and wrong

Lies the soul absorbing light through the pierced wounds

Home of love invite to be the guest unknown

Paths to you are shown by trees long

I Search inside where you belong

Empty-handed, I still Roam.

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I don’t know if this photo prompt relates completely to my words or not but these were the thoughts that came into my mind when I first saw it. As I am feeling down these days too so couldn’t come up with anything creative. I hope you’ll bear me with that.

This poem is written in response to Daily Prompt and Friday Fictioneers. Click on the link to see other awesome entries this week.

Photo Copyright – Björn Rudberg.

 

 

8 Words that should be added in English Dictionary

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Harvey Specter Rocks !

I encountered a Facebook page that shares very exquisite German, Greek, French, Latin and Arabic words along with the meanings. Since many new words have been added to the dictionary recently, these beautiful words should have a place there too.

These are the kind of words that we yearn for, while writing prose in English and then come up with a bunch of senseless words giving almost the same meaning.While fighting with my writer’s block I exercised these. Here’s how my exercise came out:

1- La douleur exquise (The heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable)

An explanation of abandoned love, broken dreams and unfulfilled wishes in one word.

I can feel a piercing la douleur exquise at a place where my heart is. The pain mixes with my blood and flows through the veins…to my heart. Each pore of my body burns with it but I can’t supplicate for a cure. Love hath no cure.

2- Lalochezia (The emotional relief gained from using abusive or profane language)

Have you felt lalochezia ever ?

I felt lalochezia after half an hour of slapping and punching her in the face but she was standing there, in the same condition as she did before. I felt all my efforts of tearing her apart going in vain. I have to think of another plan to get rid of this freakish scary doll that my wife had brought from the market and placed near my bed.

3- Cafune (Running your fingers through your lover’s hair)

Complete definition of ‘romantic’ in one word.

You lie here, head in my lap and I cafune you. In those moments, clock stops ticking as if it holds it’s breath to listen to our’s. I hold your hand with closed eyes, sensing peaceful embrace of your love and asks myself, “Can life be more beautiful than that?

4,5- Dormiveglia (The space that stretches between sleeping and waking), Clinomania (excessive desire to stay in bed)

I love this state of neither sleeping nor awoke completely. I often see best dreams in this state. And clinomania ? It’s my evergreen best friend.

I love you even more in dormiveglia. Your tranquilizing whispers “Wake up My Love” drench my soul leaving it thirsty for your touch. I enjoy a peaceful dormiveglia with clinomania everyday till my son comes crying “I have wet my bed again, Mommy!”.

6- Apodyopsis (The act of mentally undressing someone)

Okay that’s completely lame.

He loved her blindly until one day she sat in front of him in the classroom and he got indulged in a little apodyosis. Turned out, She’s a Man !!

7- Jaaneman (Soul of me)

I love this Urdu word. It sounds cheesy if used normally but life feels good with some cheesiness, sometimes.

Here in the East, when some random guy has to flirt with a random girl, he says, “Oye Jaaneman ! Aik Jadu Ki Japhi tu de de” (Hey Jaaneman ! Give me the magical hug) and she often gives him the magical hug with her slippers.

8- OrendaA mystical force present in all people that empowers them to effect the world, or to change their own lives)

I have discovered orenda lying deep inside my soul after several hours of mystic imagination. I am going to change the world. “Change your own pajamas first that you are wearing upturned since the morning, huh ! He will change the world” My wife replies with frowns on her forehead.

You can find many more interesting words on this Facebook page. I’d love to know how you use them in your writings.

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**The thoughts in this post are completely mine and no one needs to agree to them. This post is written for Yeah Write Weekly challenge. Click on the badge to see other entries and to vote on Thursday.

Moon, Moon on the sky…….Watch Me Die

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“Moon, Moon on the sky,

Hold me up, take me high

Clench your sigh, watch me die”

A morbid smile conquered her calm face. Calmness that escalates after a big storm passes, or when one is about to come.

“Have you ever talked to the moon?” Without glancing at me nodding head in negation, she continued.

“I have, It is my only companion since I was 5. It was my hero, a mysterious bewitching radiant ball of light. I played with it, told my secrets to it and slept in it’s shadow. And then…. and then it started playing with me” Her voice turned quivery.

“I got tangled up in it’s myth. In the full moon nights I feel supernatural. A nice sharp feeling starts cutting inside me and my hollowness grows. Instead of blood, loneliness comes out and I swear, It is more horrendous,  dreadful. It pierces my soul….It aches, It hurts !”  I felt tears mixing with her voice.

“Today’s a full moon night” I thought to myself. Shifting my eyes from the moon towards her, I realized – She was gone.

A werewolf was standing right beside me.

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A post written in response to Daily Prompt: Heroic and also for Five Sentence Fiction – Moon.

The Meaning Of Motivation Changed.

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A sign of motivation for me

Self  desire for actuation, some valid motivation

Lift up the soul enervated, with a new cognition

 

By the moment I complain of heartache unbearable

A person gets back his life, when heart beats go stable

Survival from a heart operation, his contentment grow

The meaning of “Pain” clarifies itself into a sacred vow

 

By the moment I blubber missing my Love forsaken

An infant cries for the lap of his  Mother forever taken

Craving for his Mother’s touch, his hollowness grow

The meaning of “urge” bounds itself into a sacred vow

 

By the time I sob encountering nights sorrowful, sleepless

A person couldn’t sleep of his hunger growing limitless

In the need of food, His chastity of gratitude grow

The meaning of “want” enslaves itself into a sacred vow

 

By the moment I refuse to see the hope of future bright

Optimistic dreams are seen by a person with no eyes

Wishing for a better life, His frenzy eagerness grow

The meaning of “hope” confines itself into a sacred vow

 

By the moment I refuse to thank, by the time I do complaint

The poor,The orphan,The needy ,The injured and the quaint

Satisfy themselves for what they have, as the life grow

The meaning of “Life” envisages itself into a sacred vow

 

Desire is the key to motivation,a changed definition

A pinch of enthusiasm, A heap of determination !

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Image Credits: http://www.eidhi.org.

Dungeon Prompts – Season 2 Week 1: Motivation.

Today’s Daily Prompt was NEW so this is my newest motivation.

Truth That Consumed Her -A Short Story

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Who am I ? Where am I ? Many questions bubbled onto the surface her mind as she opened her eyes. At first she couldn’t see anything, her vision was blurred with a thin white sheet of mist.

She was laying in a small room. A dim yellow light was trying to make her vision clear but it couldn’t. She tried to move her arms and after struggling for a while, they were in a position to let her sit with her back resting along the headboard.

A bouquet of withered old flowers was resting on the side table along with a tray of tablets. A fan was running slowly on the ceiling which could produce no air but only an unpleasant noise. Her bed was white colored, made of steel. Soon she figured out that she was in a hospital. But why ? What happened to her ? She searched for wounds on her body but couldn’t find any. She tried to move her body off the bed but she wasn’t able to move it. She tried to call out, words stuck in her throat.

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Yes my darling I will take you both to the zoo in the evening” She spoke in her soft voice wrapped in love while driving the car.

But we want to go now Mama” Both her twin kids who were the world to her were insisting.

Today is your first day at school my Love, you can’t skip it. Mama promises you that she’ll take you to the zoo

Okay pinky promise?” They both forwarded their tiny hands with cute smiles on their faces.

She smiled and touched their fingers with her’s and kissed them both on their foreheads. She had tears in her eyes while watching them enter the school gate….Tears that are precious like white pearls in the ocean….like a mother’s love….like the first rain…..pure !

She turned back and was crossing the road when suddenly she felt herself in the air….the ground beneath her feet was gone and her mind blacked out.

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How the hell am I supposed to let her live in my home?

She is still my wife, why can’t you understand that? Doctors said there are 1% chances of her coming out of the coma and that 1% chance saved her like a miracle.Where the hell is she supposed to go now?

I don’t know anything. I have given my 15 years to this home. I have been taking care of her kids for 15 years and now she is here to take control of my home? I can’t let this happen ever

She is not in a position of taking control of your house. She is on the wheel chair for God’s sake!! Let her live in a corner of our house. She won’t interfere in your matters, I guarantee that ! I know her……

She heard a loud sound like someone has thrown a plate on the ground…..And she heard the rest of that too.

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Ali?

Yes my love

Can we be more happier and satisfied than we are now? Can life be better than this?” She was staring at the countless stars on the dark black sky, glittering and glowing like her eyes.

I don’t think so” He kissed her hand while looking at her and smiled.

But it can be if you make me a cup of coffee right now?” she stared at his face where a naughty smile and pure love was gleaming.

Okay but this is the last time

My darling wife I love you” He cried and She giggled.

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Why is she here brother I don’t like her. You know mom told me that she was bad and she was never there for us when we needed her. I hate her

She was in a coma for 15 years ! She need us now

She didn’t listen to her brother.

While leaving the room she saw her pulling the wheelchair towards her room holding a plate with two burgers in her hands.

She recalled, they loved burgers when they were kids.

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He is standing on a freshly made grave covered with red roses. He is crying hard with his hands stretched in the air. Why Allah? Why did you do that to my mother? No one needed her but I did. Why did you snatch the only happiness I had after 15 years? Why? Tears were flowing down his cheeks and collecting on his neck as he continued……

Here lies a wife and a mother who was best of both at one time. She returned to the world to have a second chance but cold truth and cruel realities didn’t let her avail it. Here lies a girl consumed by nothing but truth…Truth that can be like roses at one time and like thorns for the other. As they say,”Truth is rarely pure and never simple”.

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Related:

The Daily Prompt: TRUTH.

Black Magic ?

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People imply that it was

Black magic

that ate her up

like worms eat up the woods.

She was transformed

From an elegant glowing beauty

To

an awful filthy mess.

She had flesh on her bones

but no impulse.

Like a lifeless corpse

her face turned pale black,

her soul departed her body

taking away the shine

in her eyes.

She was Dead for

the world.

No one knew, except me;

she was bitten by ‘Life’

And I swear

I heard her silent breaths !!

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**Please vote for me if you liked my poem, O’ Moon You Were The Spectator ! . For voting, Please click the following link : Speak Easy at Yeah Write. Read the other great entries too and vote for them. You can vote for total three entries. All entries are present at the bottom of the page.

Thank you 🙂

A post written in response to Daily Prompt: Do you Believe in Magic?

Image credits: VUsolutions.com.