Nah, that’s Impossible

From this…

IMG_1953

To this….0

Everything changed, while I traveled from that to this…

So I used to hear a phrase, ‘the word impossible is not in my dictionary’ and I used to think, what kind of a crappy dictionary do these people own? I mean, there are a lot of impossible things in this world, no? You can not fly like a bird, can not just reach out and touch the sky, can not pass one day without shedding out tears. It’s just impossible. I defined impossible.

But turns out, the word ‘impossible’ somehow got erased from my dictionary as well. At least how my mind used to define impossible sure is changed. If I was the same girl who would sit on the desk in that first photo, the girl sitting on the desk in that second photo would have been a marvelous strange character of some piece of fiction.

Now that I sit on that second desk in real, I can’t stop thinking about that sad, miserable little girl who would when ride her daddy’s or later husband’s car never by any chance think that she would own her own car one day. Who would when spend her daddy’s or husband’s money to buy stuff for herself never think that she would buy stuff with her own self-earned money one day. And, her fingers which would press these buttons on the keyboard just to let her sadness and pain out would ever write programming code for UK’s largest travel agents. Still sounds funny to me, I swear. I never thought I would achieve all this, but I sure used to dream it like a dirty little fantasy.

In this short period I have made my parents proud a couple of times, I think. At least they show me off to other people and that’s a big thing to me. As a matter of fact, I have proved it to the world around me that yeah I can do something on my own, that I am capable of doing more than what they thought of me. And believe me, they thought very little. It’s even a little fun to look at their faces when they find out things about me. I feel proud. I have proved myself that maybe, when I used to think I am worthless, it wasn’t so true after all.

Big achievements is not a thing, it’s the teeny tiny steps you take towards those achievements that matter. My achievements may not sound much to you, you may think this woman has gone crazy, but these are big for me. I know how much I have struggled, and how ready I am to struggle a hundred times more.

You may not even read this rant of mine that sounds like I am in heaven , or that I am high. Same thing. I am not. I am the same, just a little more plastered on the wounds than you expected me to be. However, it’s still a long way to go.

P.s for whom it may concern, chocolatefudge still lastride her stuff.ย 

 

 

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Nah, that’s Impossible

  1. Oh Lord.. it’s the 7th and not the
    6th but i went to a 40th Year Class
    Reunion this Weekend and i am a bit
    behind on Communicating with Blog Friends
    and it’s true i have Your Internet Site Here Lala
    Rukh to give thanks for a few i met here
    who have lasted 4 years too
    as i met you here
    just about
    5 Years
    ago in the
    End of July
    for really only a Friendship
    in every day communication that
    Lasted about 6 Months but as Loyal
    Friends go i stay until i am told to go away
    as sure i will dust my feet off easily where i am
    not welcome too.. hmm.. i wonder why you don’t
    respond to the Nice Comments Folks leave you here
    but that is not for me to Judge although it seems so different
    in how you never missed a Reciprocal Social Communication
    for all who communicated on your Blog Things Change Life gets
    Dark Life Gets Busy Life gets LiGHT and Lord Knows Feels and Senses
    in me..
    when
    i worked
    all i had time
    for was work work
    work and when folks
    asked me what i had
    been doing just two
    words well actually
    Four Been
    Working
    Working
    Precisely that’s three..
    hehe.. anyway hAha when
    you Retire drop by and say hi
    when you get a chance if you Like and or Will
    too as i’ll guess i’ll continue to come by unTil
    you say Good Bye.. for True i am the Fortunate
    one to sTill have it in me to just say Hi mY FRiEnd
    For True i do Know the other place Just Working Working for Decades True too..:)

  2. Congrats! Give yourself a pat on the back!. You totally deserve it. and nothing, I repeat NOTHING compares to our parents showing us off to other people and feeling proud. Thats like the best feeling in the world. May Allah keep all our parents healthy, wealthy and alive forever. AMeen!

  3. Oh Mabrook! Programming, huh? I’ve been wanting to learn coding for quite some time now, and I’ve even planned it out how I’m gonna manage with the rest of my studies. I know where I could learn and all, just waiting for the right opportunity. And largest travel agency of UK. MashaAllah๐Ÿ˜Ž
    Tbh, I don’t know how much everyone else thought you could do, but I always knew you’d make me proud! ๐Ÿ˜Žโค
    I’m so happy for you. Alhamdulillah. May Allah grant you more and more life’s joys. And more and more success. Aameen.
    And wese, what a surprise though, I was expecting another depressing post about how cruel the world is ๐Ÿ˜‚
    It’s so good to hear positive news in this cruel world ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’ซ

  4. Lalaaaaaa! ๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒท๐ŸŒผ๐ŸŒธ๐Ÿ’๐ŸŒน๐Ÿ’ฎ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒป
    Girl, I got so excited just seeing your name on the screen that I didn’t even read the post and got down to commenting.
    I really really hope you’ve been well, I swear I was thinking about you, and even during Ramadan, I was trying to name every person that has managed to somehow make an impact in my life in my prayers, and your name was constantly there and I constantly wondered about you.
    I’m so glad to see you here again! ๐ŸŒป
    And okay I’ll read the post now. ๐Ÿ˜ญ

  5. Hey stranger.

    Well actually I am the estranged one. As always it give me joy every time I see one of your “RANTS” :p

    Oh …. The times (reminiscing) … Damn … I know I vanished over the last 4-5 … like the Horn of the donkey … LOL :p

    Most likely you and everyone think I died or something … But to tell you the truth I have never really missed anyone of your post … here I was sorting through last one week of trash in my mail box … And I happened upon a diamond … White Shadow [New Post] …!!!

    Well I have always told you … for every person on the other side of that Computer screen of your … who thinks little of you … there are a 100 even 1000 people on this side of screen … who think a world of you … who are proud … and believe you can do anything you will ever put your mind to … !!!

    The conviction of a person as strong as yourself …

    Who never back off …
    Never stays down …
    Falls down …
    Gets up …
    Brushes off the dust …
    And starts pushing again …

    Your conviction and determination … how you call it in urdu … Azm aur Irada … can move mountains dear!!!

    And that is what each and every one of your readers think of you!!!

    So keep going … stronger, steadier and harder!!!

    As always … Stay Blessed!!!

    • PS: For those who think little of you … its unfortunate that they are unable to see beyond there own short comings … and its there loss!!!

  6. To be Your own Person..
    In other Words of Social
    and Psychology Science to
    Self Actualize as Maslow says
    is a Life Long Endeavor
    in Deed and
    later
    perfecting
    in practice his
    Theory more in Soul
    As Mind and Body Balancing
    SpiRit of HeART in Transcending
    Self Actualization Needs to Bringing
    the Rest of the World up in any way one
    can
    and
    will
    with
    all the innate
    and environmental
    tools at hand but of course
    the Danger too is we become
    the Tools and Lose the Soul in Mind
    and Body Way where Emotions Run
    through the Body and even Cognitive
    Behavioral Therapy is not enough to Bring
    A Child’s Soul of Wonder Imagination and Original
    Creativity back.. for that my friEnd Lala Rukh for who
    i have entered
    her space
    on the
    Internet without
    Fail each and every
    time she comes to visit
    now for 59 Months soon
    to be 5 Years is apparently the
    Paths of Journey in Life you continue to
    take as there are also Stages of Faith too as Fowler
    says up and to Love For all as the Ultimate God and Religion
    in understanding and tolerance and even acceptance for the differences
    among others too.. one big Family Holding Hands of Truly unlimited differences
    in Culture and Innate way too.. anyway.. since i met you when you were 21 and i was
    53 that makes you 26 now.. and i must say i would never trade my age now at 58 for
    any one of those ages then for all the trials and tribulations of having to measure up to
    the expectations and limitations that others expected of me for making a Dollar Bill for
    Survival then and of course all the Grand Expectations my Father’s side had for me
    in Money and Status and Power that never meant anything to me or my Mother’s
    Side of the Family for that side is all about the Currency of Love to Give and
    Share with others as all that really Matters in this Life is the Love you
    Give and Share with others that is real.. as that increasingly can
    and will get Harder as we become the Tools of Culture more
    than truly Human with a Naked Dance of Love for all
    now.. but anyway ya gotta make a Living and
    the Environment of Expectations and
    Limitations from others can and
    will be almost impossible
    to escape for
    greater
    Freedoms
    when one becomes
    the Actual Director Producer
    and Actor of tHeir own Play wHere
    the only affirmation that counts is the
    Mother and Father and Friend that is you
    as Freedom’s Dance and Song coMe to be Real..
    anyway.. it’s true i have the Relative Free Will to be
    all of me now and Love without restraint without ever
    expecting anything in return but it’s true for one who loves
    unconditionally the
    intrinsic rewards
    are endless now..
    Good to see
    you again
    Lala Rukh
    and i am happy
    to see you as a very
    intelligent person are finally
    getting to use all that potential
    that you earned in your College years
    for it’s true so many people work so hard at
    College and all through School really for not much
    of anything at all when they get in the ‘real world’ for
    whatever the endless possibilities of that may come to
    be both by measure of individual opportunities exercised
    and also
    by the
    limits
    and expectations
    for those of what we
    come to Value Most and True
    the actual ability to escape ‘Group Think’
    in all the ways that comes as a Social Animal
    at core is truly a Measure of Relative Free Will
    and a
    true
    original
    Measure of Freedom at all.. yes
    we do live in a strange world more
    specifically I do where Folks Name God Love
    And make a Leader Like a Man Called Trump their Savior..
    but my FriEnd that’s Par for the Course of not only HiStory
    but Humans
    who
    lack
    much Free
    Will to think and
    feel and sense for themselves at all..
    Fortunately.. for me.. my Mother ruled for Free..
    And now in turn i do share and give that ulTiMate Gift of Will iN LoVE..
    Best Wishes Hopes and Prayers for you to keep LooKinG uP mY friEnd NoW..:)

  7. Good to see you… Achievements irrespective of how big or small they are will always be achievements.. They really help us in lifting our morale during those low moments and make us feel proud of ourselves.. All the best girl..

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