You know the thing that suffocates you till you can’t breathe anymore? That’s a wish. And then that dark shadow that occupies your mind and shuts off the light of your eyes just before making you unconscious? That’s despair. And then a sudden air that forces it’s way up your nose and mouth and pumps your heart very hard and makes you feel alive again? That’s hope.
It is raining outside. Whenever it rains, my heart talks nonsense just like that.
I don’t hate rains like other people do here (By here I mean, here, In the city where I live now. where weather is cold almost throughout the year).
Rain is still like a mystery to me. I haven’t experienced getting wet in it with hands stretched in the air and face towards the sky. I don’t know what it feels like to sit on the stairs in front of my home with a mug of coffee in hands and staring at the rain drops pouring on the ground beside me. I don’t know the warmth of hugging someone special while standing in the rain showers. I’d also like to scream and laugh out loud in the streets though there might be a risk of being caught in this.
All I have seen of rain is from my window glass, while reading a book or staring outside purposelessly. Sad, Quiet.I want to know it more but I am scared. I am scared that if I’d know and experience everything about rain that’s mystery to me now, what will I do then? There would be nothing left to wonder about. It will all be over.
Then, I’ll start hating it like others.
I know that’s absurd. I am being strangely honest. I am so scared of taking one step further and I don’t know when this habit took control of me. I can just think and think for hours of getting out of my comfort zone but I have no courage to step out practically. I am not brave enough.
May be I am still circling around into the darkness of despair or may be, I am breathing that fresh air of hope but I haven’t realized it’s there.
White Shadows 
keep the writing flowing and hope dancing in between, Lala.
i remember i used to enjoy rain when i was a kid, dark clouds filling up the sky in middle of a sunny day and i felt happiness, how the colors changed in the sky, the roaring clouds, the scent of sand after the rain it used to feel so good… but as i grew older those feeling associated with rain faded away as years added up in my life, to a point that i felt nothing when it came, it even brought gloom with it sometimes since it all depends on the weather inside. But like a loyal companion rain never leaves you (unless you actually live in a desert) its always there… all i think we need is someone to share it with (whether its hope or a person) to bring the joy back, to remind us of its presence.
Heyyyyyyy Lala. I am just trying to get caught up now on reading blogs. As you know, I have been away. I always like reading yours.
I, for one, grew up in Vancouver, BC – Canada. It is very, very, very rainy there. I am probably just like your neighbors in England that don’t like it. However, after living in Brazil for over a decade, I have grown to appreciate small bouts of it. But all in all, I’m a sun girl, all the way. It does wonders for me. It releases the ever so needed serotonin in my brain that I desperately need. I am very affected by climate and weather. Actually, the best I have ever been emotionally was when I lived in India for a few months. It was sunny every single day.
I hope you’re doing well back at your home now. I hope your visit was wonderful.
Love and blessings.
🙂 ❤
I love rains and I am sure you will love it .. getting wet and dancing in the air because every rain is different ..
What a brilliant description! Love your writing, Lala.
Despair comes flitting in my life to be banished by hope as soon as it touches my heart. Being an eternal optimist means that hope is on the lookout for banishing any traces of despair which manage to get through.
I love rain. I have played and danced in the rain, and enjoyed every drop of it. Since, I was a child in the rain then, I have even laughed, and screamed in the rain without anyone thinking I was crazy. Those days of childhood! I wish I could do all that again.
You should start writing a novel. This was a brilliant diascription of a moment.
Lala, I am at loss of words here, because you said there everything I’ve ever wanted to explain about rain, how I see it. I love it, for everything that it is; the sad, the melancholic, the mysterious, the quiet, the calmness…Everything. Rain has this aura, this effect, Gosh I can’t explain, see? But YOU! You took my breathe away with every word, the fascination, the fear, the confusion in your thoughts, so beautifully penned. WOW! ❤
Well there’s one beautiful thing I know about rain. Especially drizzle. Calm rain is mercy from God and you can have all your prayers answered during rain just as the best time for du’aa is in sujood or during a journey.
And hence I don’t hate rain. I’ve played a lot in rain as a child. I don’t enjoy it much anymore. Or I guess I’m just a little more insecure now that I’ve grown up. But I like the happy feeling it brings with the knowledge of how I can now make lots of du’aa. Plus rain is quite rare in Kuwait. So you’ve gotta cherish it. 😊
Someday the rain will call and you will answer the call and when it goes you will have a smile on your beautiful face,for that day your courage will shine. (:
Love watching the rain by the window, it’s soothing, romantic and peaceful. It charts layers of dreams:)
Bahut khub, Lala! 👍
Rain is an extraordinary thing. Even after you go and explore it, stretch your palms out and face the sky, it’s like there’s still more to it. Like when it rains again there will be more to that rain, another experience hidden, waiting for us to take the step and discover its beauty.
Ratika says
all i say
in one
word..
EXPLORE..;)
Rain is God’s greaTest GiFt
to human as iT bRinGs
purifying water to sustain LiFE…
Once.. there is a human that wanders arid
lands.. this human Loves rain as much
as life itself.. as inDeeD Rain is Life
as Life iS for
human being.. then and NOw..
this human wishes more than
anything.. to have a rain
that reins forevermore
as reign of KinG
of VeinS
Love
Human
groWinG
noWmore..
so yes.. in
metaphor
this human
eventuAlly
wanders
North and
finds the place
where you live now..
in a land.. a new world
of cold and endless rain
that sadly drOwns
thirst of human
heArt..
extinguishing
FiRe of human
SpiRit that must
move invisibly
to capture
prey
and
escape predator
on butterfly dance
feat of human being..
and to connect to other
human beings in these
arid lands of little.. is to
survive.. to LiVE spiRit
expresSinG human
emotiON emoting
human Force of
God’s Love
gifTing gRAce
alWays
iNbalanCinG
SoUl of human beInG
mind and body REAL
ALL innate.. instinctual
intuitive.. from ALL oriGiN
InFiniTy aLL n0w as
human evolves
through
GOD
‘s
grace sTilL NOW..
MoVinG.. ConnecTinG
CreaTinG.. reflecTinG
GOD’s UniVersAL
SoUl of
BEINGAlWAYS
NOW.. as we WiLL
BE too.. if we
generate
Force
of GOD..
the spark
the flAMe
inside
not yet
put out
by instant gratification
of new human reign
of reins of
all we can
eat
rain..
The real devil is fear..
The real sin is succumbing
to instant gratification
with no longer
the challenge
of Life that GOD
bRinGs to uS
as MoVinG
ConnecTinG
CreaTinG
adaptTinG
chanGinG
reflecTioNs
ForCe
ChanGe
alWays
aLLthaTis
GOD..
Rain has more than
rainbow colors for those
who see and feel ALL
MORE COLORS OF
GOD’S eYes BeInG
and when we are stifLED
or abuse(D) those colors
without challenge
adaptations
and change
we lose GoD’s
gift of grace to us
as always
NOW..
and those who look forward
or past.. will never
ever
LiVE
aGaiN..
SMiLEs.. anyway.. nice to
see you on the 5th as i am
thinKinG of what to write
you without a poetic
prompt for you..6th..
and i Love to
be inspiRed
by otHeRs
more than
a weak attempt
to inspire them without
a connection from them..
as always for me Love is
Uncondtional without any
stRinGs attaChinG no
requirements from
me but to
breathe
my friend..
but i will tale you this..
as a 234 LB man who
can leg press half a ton
now 25 times straight
forward on a parallel
leg press machine
with arms raised in
air.. dance walking
a martial arts style
of ballet everywhere i go
now for 4200 miles or so
since i meet you at the end
of July when i gain greatgift
of Phoenix from God that YOU
help spark in me.. i am fearless
but yet.. my heart.. spirit.. and soul..
is as or more sensitive than it has ever
been before as a Human Empath Angel
houSinG as this body of steel.. AlL tHis Love i
give to you and expect absolutely nothing in
return.. and although out of concern for you..
when i attempt to reach out to you..
as i always do.. i am very happy
to get that notification on
my iPhone that you
accept my
facebook
friend
request.. from months..
as sure reciprocation now
feels good too.. to all we
human beings.. i don’t
say anything but a like
on one of your posts
that says it all
that Love
is a spirit
with no time..
distance or space..
that never ends when
real with yes.. no sorrows
regrets.. or shame
no matter what
happens or what
the other person does..
in life.. but i will
say this too..
as a human being
for whatever reason
that Lala Rukh face
is erased from my
friendship face
list either
intentional
or not intentional
that hurt my feelings
in a little dArk way
but yet it inspires
me more..
as that my
friend is the
PRACTICE OF
THE REAL UNCONDITIONAL
TOUGH AND PASSIONATE
LOVE OF ALLAH
ALWAYS
RESTORieD
IN US.. THAT NEVER
GIVES UP then or NOW
AND IS A PERFECT
STORM OF LOVE
THAT NEVER
REIGNS DEAD
WITH REINS OF
RAIN THAT
ARE ALWAYS
CHERISHED
AND
NEVER
EVER
TAKEN
FOR GRANTED
by me at least my
friend.. To be the Truth
and Light as guided by
GOD is a greaTesT
challenge and
adaptation
from GOD
for change..
but it is a challenge
and my real
version
of Ramadan
that rains
forever
now
my friend..
with this..
Love,
Fred…
And sure..
i just share
a stream
of consciousness
thought too that comes
from the ocean of human
cosmic consciousness
also known as
Holy Spirit..
and so many
other metaphors
across all cultures
and religions always
now.. when two humans
connect in whatever way
where GOD comes into
the room too..
to have
GOD’s
say
so
as well.
but yah.. sure
human language
is so dam limited
that we will never
speak the
full language
of God and
that my friend
is the most beautiful
reality of all.. the mystery
and magic of GOD that will
always keep us on our toes
and alive.. for those of us
who hear
the cALL..
answer
and never
ever give IT UP..
as GOD’s
GreaTesT
GiftINfinite
potenTiaL reflecTinG
in Human GOD’s
eYes and eaRS
of
N0W..
LOVE..
my friend..
Lala Rukh..:)
I love this. So beautiful and sad. Maybe you should try to go out in the rain and explore it. You might learn something new, and discover something that went unseen before…like the smell of earth after rain…
This is such an amazing post! I really love your blog so much and in turn cannot stop reading all of your posts. Please don’t ever stop writing them because I love your posts too much!
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aah white shadows…hope is an illusion. its better off roaming in the darkness of despair as it is definitely not a figment of our imagination unlike hope.
nice piece…great writing !!!
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