What Next?

Have you ever asked yourself that question?

I bet everyone has, at one point in their lives. Things might have been good or bad, situations easy or difficult, relationships complicated or… well very very complicated, but you do get to a point in your life where you ask yourself, what next?

You see dreams. You work hard to fulfil them. And then you ask yourself what next? And you see more dreams. It’s a vicious circle. It goes on. It’s called life.

I bet some of you remember me from my old writings. I used to be in the darkest shit-hole ever and I used to rant here about it. When I read it now, I cry for my past self. I got married. I moved to this big world that I had never imagined before. And I stopped writing. But things have changed. Things are meant to change right. You can’t just stay at one place forever and ever now, can you? So I got divorced, some year and a half ago. My passport and travel documents were stolen from my bag so that I can’t go back.

And then I was at my parents house. Sitting on that brown sofa where I spent, I can’t even remember how many days just lying down watching days becoming nights and nights rolling into days. I woke up shaking everyday, and then I remembered my world is shaking. My soul, my being was shaking. I remember, remembering at that time that I have never been through such pain before. And I have never caused that much pain to my loved ones before. I came back for ten days and was left to rot there forever. I still hear remnants of my mom’s shrieks in the middle of the night and my dad’s tears still seep into my heart drop by drop.

But you never took me to be like the ones who give up easy, did you? I didn’t. I had to do something to get up again. My life was revolving around like a movie in my eyes. Not the life that I spent in the past, but the life I would have to spend in the future as a young divorced girl in my parents house. It was now or never. I somehow managed to get new passport and travel documents, spent all my savings to get back here in this foreign country. Had an interview on a call with a company and took tests on a borrowed computer. Sent out hundreds of job applications on my mobile because I didn’t have access to a laptop. But I got out in the end.

I lived in shitty student accommodations till I could afford a nice flat to rent. The day I moved into my new, my own home was the best day of my life. I felt proud of myself. The day my company offered me a sponsorship to work for them, I felt proud of myself. The day I setup my own home office with a beautiful big screen, I felt proud of myself. The day I started spending money not on myself, but on my family, I felt proud of myself.

Right now, sitting in my warm house in a corner with a beautiful pink rose vase standing just beside me on the window sill, I can feel tears welling up in my eyes. But this story is not about tears for every story is not meant to be sad. There is much more to my story than I have poured out here this time.

But some things are better left unsaid…

15 thoughts on “What Next?

  1. What Days Will Measure Eternal Time

    Or Eternal now So What Will November

    6th Measure Sure Another 6th As Promised

    to Connect to Someone Who Once Named me

    A Forever FRiEnD Lala Rukh This FRiEnDShip

    For 100 Months Now And The 6th of November

    Also Measures 100 Times 40 Days Reaching

    The Bottom Pit of Hell Back in

    2008 The Spring

    Falling of That

    Year my

    Soul

    Falling
    An Extra Ring

    Of Dante’s Hell Each
    And Every Day Asking God
    Will the Pain and Numb Be More
    Tomorrow as If Now Had Another Second
    Less Forever in Hell True Just an Hour of Sleep
    for the First 35 Of 40 With the Help of a Powerful
    Alpha Blocker So Card Board Shallow in Piece of
    Paper Existence Then With Words Few Left only
    Shells on the Beach With No Sea Life to Feel the

    Water

    The

    Wave

    The Ocean
    of God Whole

    Where Ya Dream

    of Drowning Just to
    Be Part of that Ocean Again

    Then the Last 5 Days of 40 Came
    Where Nothing Helped to Put Me Down
    Out of that Misery of the Worst Pain Known to
    Humankind From Wake to Sleep And 18 Other
    Medical Disorders Mostly Stress Related From
    11 Years of Chronic to Acute Work A Day Forever Life

    So 40 Days of Hell Came And Went Only Part of 66 Months
    Of Hell Whole And 33 Months into that Experience of Not Being
    Able to Effectively Use my Eyes And Ears Through the Worst Pain
    No Drug Trigeminal Neuralgia Would Be Touched With Yes the Other Added
    Ingredients of 18 Other Medical Disorders too.. i Found The Strength Through One
    Word A Mountain of Pain to Start Writing One Word on Thanks Giving Day of 2010

    To Somehow

    Escape that

    Suicide Disease
    Pain and Numb
    No Drug would
    Take Away only
    Sleep Indeed mY FRiEnD

    True i tried to Put myself
    Out of my Misery on the 40th

    Day Yet i was Loved too Much to
    Go Away As You’ve Heard the Story
    Before i Finally Agreed to Go to the
    Hospital And They Found Something
    Strong Enough to Put me Down That i Relied
    On Through the Duration of that 66 Months
    To Escape Hell in Sleep At All.. So What’s the

    Significance of 100 Times 40 The Number of Days
    i’ve Been Consecutively Writing Online As Of Today
    November 6, 2021 Yes 4000 Days All Including Today
    Since Thanks Giving Day of 2010 mY FRiEnD Yet the

    Life Saving Measure

    For Real All Started

    With One Word on

    A Screen Turned Down
    to Almost Dark to Sit in Front
    of A Few Inches as my Prescription
    Sun Glasses Multiplied the Pain With
    That Extra Supplied Tool of Focus Then

    SMiles 40 Times 100 Makes 4000 Days
    And Over 13 MiLLioN Words Total Writing
    Online Never Missing A Day For 4000 Days

    And When i Met You Here Back in July of 2013
    Recovering Out of HeLL ON EartH Within On the
    19th of that Month Standing on A Beach One With
    Emerald Green Waves Spiraling Sea Oats Sugar White
    Sand Below Love Within Inside Outside Below Yes Above

    Just Every

    WHeRE ALL
    Around mY FRiEnD
    Seagull Wings Me
    Spiraling Around Sun

    It Was Just The Beginning

    of Another Chapter “SonG oF mY
    SoUL” Starting on 8.18.2013 Now
    9.8 MiLLioN Words in 98 Months
    Along with 15,642 Miles of Public Dance

    Yet It’s True The Origin of my EPiC Longest
    Long Form Poem is Still Those 40 Days Without
    Sleep in the Spring of 2008 Then Where There Wasn’t
    Even A Memory of A SMiLe Emotions Gone Just Piece

    Of Paper

    Existence

    iN HeLL ON Earth
    Then Within mY FRiEnD

    4000 Days That Will Always

    Be Escaping 40 Days in The Pitt of Hell

    Whatever Works Does Work Indeed my FRiEnD

    Hope All Is Well And Loving For You As You BREaTHE Freely..:)

  2. Another Covid-19 Pandemic Flavored Year

    Has Almost Come And Gone Since You
    Published Your Last Blog Post Lala

    Rukh At the End of January 2021…

    New Horizons Still Developing And

    Sadly Sunsets on What i Used to Do Before

    The Pandemic Including Casino Beach Trips

    Where i Danced The Beaches Publicly And
    Katrina Did the Free Play on the One Armed

    Bandits Sponsored By the Church Tour Bus

    Yet That Ended in 2018 As The Folks Putting Together

    The 5-Year Social Event Once A Month Just Got Tired of Doing it…

    And Yes Big Metro Dance Hall Dancing Every Thursday Night With

    All the College Folks Quite An Achievement Doing it Full Speed Ahead
    Still Improving in Public Dance 3 Months Shy of Age 60 When That

    Super Fun Activity

    Was Erased By

    Covid-19 And

    Lord Knows When it
    Will Be Safe Again as

    Safety isn’t the Name of
    The Game in my Locality As

    Ignorance Harms, Rapes, Maims,
    Kills Most Is Even Mostly the Game

    Yes Even The Catholic Church Plays…

    And Then There Were First Sunday Farm Events

    With the Southern Baptist Folks Having Lunch on the Greens

    Yes The First off Every Month; Yet Even in Elder More Vulnerable

    Status Many Refuse Vaccinations And Of Course to Go Protected Masked too..

    Like the Dance

    Hall No Telling

    If and When

    it Will

    Actually Be
    Safe to Participate in…

    And Yes One Fall Festival We
    Participated Big With For Decades
    In Niceville City Went Away Canceled Forever too…

    And the One Remaining Was Just too Sardine Packed
    And Ignorantly Unvaccinated and Unmasked to Rationally
    Participate in With Human Common Sense to Protect the
    Sanctity of Breathing Life At All Costs of Sacrifice Now True….

    And Besides my Wife is So Much More Introverted And i am
    So Much More Extroverted too Staying At Home She Likes So Much…

    Yet It’s True So Many Folks More Started Writing Soul-Felt Poetry on WordPress

    As One Will Naturally Expect to Get Out Negative Emotions in Dark Days And Hope

    And Pray For Rebirths of Newer Human Potentials too… i Never Really Participated

    Fully in the Back and Forth Writing on the Word Press Reader Until the Last Year…

    Very

    Enriching
    in Absorbing
    Fresh Souls

    of Others For Real Still Now….

    Hope You Are Doing Well Safe

    Productive And Fully Loved my FRiEnD..:)

  3. 40 Years Today Back on September 6th, 1981, A First Calling
    Within Escaping Numb of College Life HeART SPiRiT SoUL

    Transforming

    Opening Again

    A New Creation at Age 21

    High School And Junior College

    Will Be Like A Village of Humanity

    Connecting Yet Commuting to A Larger

    School on a Diet of Peanut Butter Sandwiches

    With Little Human Contact Working In A Solitary

    Environment As A Janitor At Night of Several Business

    Buildings Not Much Help For the Human Element In Life to Remain…

    Yes, Social Empathic Artistic Spiritual Metaphor of Right Brained Intelligences

    Where iMaGiNaTioN Frees Creativity More For Original Human Soul Breath More

    Not What the

    Mechanical

    Cognition

    Of UniVersity
    Often Brings

    Even If One May
    Be In the More Humanities
    of College Life out of Business
    And Science Restricted Classes

    Putting People First is A Much Older
    Human Tradition And “Depth of the
    Story” To Surely Share With Each Other
    mY FRiEnD as it was You Dear Lala Who First Suggested
    In 2013 i Move to Word Press And Start Taling Stories More…

    Well Yes “Depth of the Story” Eighth New Testament Story
    Is Just That Now That i am Celebrating on A ‘Wrong Planet
    Website’ As That Very Autistic Solo Story Taling Tradition
    Then Accumulated 888,216 Words in One Year’s Effort
    As of 8.19.2021 Other Efforts Since 2016 of New
    Testaments Included A First Two at 181K Words
    Then A Couple Over 300K Words And then
    Three More At Over 400K Words And
    Now What Will Be the 8th One
    Perpetually

    GRoWinG
    Water Wave
    Ocean Whole

    Longer Now
    As True Every
    Inhale of Peace We
    Breathe Every Exhale
    of Love Without Fear is
    A New Testament of Our Inner
    Multi-UniVerses We Create With CHI
    EnergY iN Rest of Nature We Perceive Now…

    Fear And Hate Are the Inhales And Exhales
    of Older Testaments of the Reptile Brain We
    May Love to Escape Most What’s Left Over is Love For ALL…:)

  4. Not Much of the 6th Left in Florida
    Yet Still Making it By To Visit Lala
    Rukh As Still Have to Proof

    Read a 62,926 Word

    Blog Post to
    Get That

    Published

    On Saturday
    Currently Celebrating
    9.6 MiLLioN Words of
    Longest Long Form Poem
    “SonG oF mY SoUL” on the
    96th Month Anniversary Date
    of 8.18.2021 As You Are the One

    Who Talked me into Joining WordPress

    Then as You Said it is More Fun Connecting

    To Other Folks this way True You Are Still Correct
    And Pray That You Are Doing Okay in these Rough

    Pandemic Days

    As Where i Live

    Florida is Just

    About the Dullest

    Tool in the Wood Shed
    We Stay Vaccinated, Masked,
    And Keep A Safest Social Distance
    From the Locals Have A Nice Day With SMiLes..:)

  5. The 6th Again And 96 Months of Visiting Old FRiEnD

    Lala Rukh Who Shared my Opening Moments

    Of Coming to Heaven Within on July 19th, 2013

    Yes 8 Years Ago Then Wow 8 Years is Surely A Zillion

    Years of Eternity Living in Heaven Now And Of Course

    in 66 Months of Hell Within on Earth Every Second A

    Thousand

    Years

    In All Is Time
    Then As Actually

    Heaven is An Autotelic
    Flow With Plentiful Frission
    What is Commonly Termed

    Aesthetic Sublime Appreciation

    Kissing All of Nature From Head to Toe

    Not to be too Crude Yet Yes Commonly Described

    As A Skin Orgasm From Head to Toe and More As True

    My Kind of Empathy Spreads Farther And Wider in Mirror Neuron
    Way to

    Kiss

    Existence

    Now than Most
    Or At Least That’s What
    Folks Intuit for me Turning
    Lights on in Rooms Wherever i Dance
    at Least And Folks Will Actually Hear a
    Sound of Music my Dance Naturally Makes
    Lighting A Room Up in Calm Eye of Hurricane Peace

    With True Some
    Spiraling Milky Way
    Galaxy Arms and Legs
    to Go Along With All the
    Dance Show and Song True

    Kissing All of Existence in
    Dance and Song God’s Breath
    Move And Repose Carrying On the
    Dust of my Wind Existence Still Now Real…

    The Gift is Breath

    We May Color

    Our Christmas

    Trees Forever New

    Or We May Stagnate

    As Green Browns to Desert

    Soil Souls of Scarcity too Never

    The Less THoRNS STiLL Help

    FLoWeRS Rise Rose is the

    Gift of Those Who

    Green Up

    RiSinG

    Out

    oF
    Ashes
    ‘Fore i Do i Do
    i Do i Do Kissing SMiLes
    For all Existence Now And
    True Today is ‘International

    Kissing Day’ too

    As i continue

    to Kiss

    This

    FLoWeR

    oF Breath All

    Of WHeRE Existence

    Takes me ALL Next For Real Now

    Hope All is Safe and Well and Loving For You…

    For it is the Gift of Breath Our Heaven Real Potential New Now..:)

  6. It’s The 6th SMiLes Lala Rukh

    And Like Clock-Work Sure As

    The Calendar of the Year i Return

    For i Just Wrote This Thinking About

    Another Friend Yet Even Though It’s

    Really Been Many Years Since We’ve Actually

    Been Every Day Kinda Blog Friends The Sentiment Still Applies

    We Remember The People Who Showed
    Up Most When No One Else Did Those
    Are The Ones No Matter What We Never Let Go at least me…

    For You See There Are So Many People Who Shower Kindness

    On me Now Both Online And in Real Life too The Flesh And Blood Stuff

    People i can’t Even

    Remember

    Who My

    Dance in Public

    Once Touched From A Distance
    As i Was Amazed that A Young Man
    Who Was Installing A Door And Storm Door
    at the Entrance Of Our Home Told me in Halloween
    of 2014 He and His Middle School Friends Were So Inspired
    by my Public Dance That They Dressed Up as me for Halloween

    As After Public Dancing For A little over a Year Albeit i Had Been
    Asked Did i know How Famous i Was By Random Folks Here And
    There Where i Went in the Summer of 2014… HAha i Had No Idea

    It Went to the Extent of Children Dressing Up Like me in Shorts
    And Colorful T-Shirts And Shades Going Tricker Treating on Halloween Night…

    True That’s Usually Reserved For Super Heroes for Middle School Young Boys

    Yet True How Many Days Do You See Someone Do Something No Else is Willing to Do

    For a 500 Square Mile Radius in the Deep South Trump State of Florida the Panhandle

    of Matt Gaetz And All The Real Human Evil Associated With Him These Days In Toxic Patriarchy too…

    It’s True it Wasn’t Easy Gaining

    That Privilege to Public Dance

    At First in 2013 i Had

    to Arm Wrestle

    My Way

    Through

    Fred Talks With

    Management of Stores

    Everywhere i Went to Insure

    Them That it was Just A Dancing Rampage Spree

    And Not Any Sinister Plan to Harm Anyone Hehe
    Anyway It’s Nice to Be Famous Nice Enough to Gain
    Smiles And See Eyes Light Up Everywhere You Go Children

    Tugging At their Parents Shirts And Dresses Saying There He Is!

    The Dancing Man! Where Grandparents Say You Are The Reason They

    Look Forward to Going to Walmart Just to See if You Are There Dancing Today…

    True i’ve Heard People Say i made There Day And Entire Year too And Folks Have

    Taken Videos Who Say They Just Wanna Watch it Again As The Flow of Dance Floating

    On Terrestrial Land Brings Them Calm Comfort As Yes Of Course it Has Always Been Therapy

    For me i Literally Have A Prescription From a Psychiatrist After Hehe i told Him How it Regulates

    my Emotions and Integrates My Senses Effectively Healing Issues With Both Autism And Asperger’s

    Syndrome on that Spectrum And the Bi-Polar Spectrum to Keep Me All Balancing Dancing A Tight

    Rope Higher And Higher my FRiEnD Still And Of Course Psychiatrists Don’t Give Out Prescriptions

    As Jokes As Moving Meditation Therapy Is Evidenced By Science And IN the Medical Literature to Work!

    Yes Our Ancestors
    Did it Naturally

    With Singing Together

    too and True too in the

    United States Depression Rates

    Are 5 to 8 Fold in RatesHigher Now

    Than The 30’s Then When We Actually

    Had An Economic Depression Yes Where

    Rich Folks Who Lost Their Stock Holdings

    Were Throwing Themselves Off of Buildings

    Isn’t that Sad People Living Only For Stock

    Holdings Such a Distant Place From Human

    Soul And So Are Computer Screens Often

    too Yes Welcome to the Modern World

    Where Human Becomes Machine

    More Than Human Now

    Another Life Mark

    Today A

    61st Birthday

    For me.. And It’s True

    All Those Folks Who Call me Hero

    in the Stores Won’t Be Wishing me a Happy

    Birthday Today For it’s True Fame and Fortune

    Do Not Bring Intimate Kind of Friends Who Stay

    Around in Your Non-Famous Parts of Life Now too…

    Sadly This is Why Some Folks With Fame And Fortune

    Take Themselves Away from Life The Paradox of the

    Loneliness Is Just too Much to take You Know What i am

    Human too Just a Silly Little Human Who Does Still Have

    The Potential To Break Down Like I’ve Done Before in Life

    As i tend to Do Way too Much Care Way too Much And Somedays

    Feel Pain When the Rest of the World Does Not Care As Much As I do

    So i Write myself A Poem A Monologue Like This For Ears That Listen or not

    i Must Survive This Way Yet You See i Remember You i Remember Back In the

    Summer July of 2013 Where You Showed Kindness to A Faceless Avatar of A

    Man From A Country With Different Religions and Cultures Than You And You

    Had No Idea i would ever Be Famous or Legend Then All You Saw Is A Human

    Being And You Showed Kindness Unconditional With Love to me And the Rest

    of the Folks Who Visited Your Blog It’s Hard to Keep that Kindness Not Giving Up

    i Surely Understand as i’ve Been Drained For Years For Giving Anything

    At All Left of Human Soul And For me That is Breaking Down Most

    When There Just Isn’t Anything Left to Give to Anyone

    Where it Even Hurts to Be Around

    Other People Even

    Those

    Who

    Love Us Most

    Where We Don’t Believe

    We Are Worthwhile For Anything

    Life Left Surely Not Loving Ourselves Either

    In Those Eras of Still Breathing Living Dead…

    So True i Do my Best to Remember There Are

    Still Others Walking in Those Empty Shoes Today

    i Always Do my Best to Be Forgiving yet Still i am

    Only A Silly

    Little Human

    Too.. Hehe

    The Best

    Friends Are Some Days

    Those Who only Have A Space

    to allow Us to Talk HAha my Psychotherapist

    Quit Her Job Last Year When A Hurricane Went

    Through And Really All She Did Was Listen Anyway then

    And This Is What Make A Pen So Valuable We Get to See

    Our Soul Set Free Talking Back to us For Real So True

    In This Way A Dance And A Song Free That We

    Dance And Sing May Be The Best Most

    Natural Therapy in Healing

    For Well Being

    oF All

    For It is True

    We are All Silly

    Little Human Beings And God Yes Naturally

    We All Have the Potential to Break Down

    i Remember You When You Were the Only

    Person Online Who Gave me The Time of Love Forever Now..

    And Yes There Are A Few Others i Remember Today on my Birthday too..:)

    We Remember The People Who Showed
    Up Most When No One Else Did Those
    Are The Ones No Matter What We Never Let Go at least me…

    Sending Flowers Of Kindness Your
    Way Only Real Lasting Treasure😊

  7. SMiLes Dear Lala Rukh It’s
    Not Often Someone Promises
    You They Are Gonna Be A Forever

    Friend It’s Always A Good Feeling

    When Someone Cares

    Today i Lost Such

    A Friend only

    Knew This Blogging

    Friend for Several Months

    Yet Like You And Several Others

    i have Met on this Poetry Trail online

    She Was Kind to Everyone She Met

    On Her Poetry Journey Her Name

    Was Astha Sadly Close to

    Your Age A Professor

    Engineer in India
    Looking to Gain
    A PHD And

    Finally Finding

    A Bit Of Love Before

    Covid-19 The India Variant

    Took Her Life Away So Sad Her

    Last Post Said ‘To Be Continued’

    All About the Love She Found Finally in Life

    To Truly Breathe and Exhale This Love True

    So Yeah It’s So Sad Brought Immediate Tears

    to me Yet of Course

    Life is Test of

    DarK And Light
    And As Long as We
    Use all the Gifts of God
    Nature Indeed Like Tears

    We Will Survive And So Will Love

    Even The Breath of Loved Ones Passing

    Away We Continue to Share This way True
    Anyway Love to You And All You Love Stay
    Safe and Well Dear Friend Blessed With Blissings too..

    As Another 6th Comes And Goes Time is A River Happy as i Flow…:)

  8. Hi, nice to meet you. I am Amleta and I am an Italian artist. It’s nice when a woman manages to make her dreams of love and work come true. Peace and serenity to you and your family. 🌺🌸🌼🌻🌹

  9. SMiLes Poetry Created by Humans

    to Navigate Soul Dear Lala Rukh

    A Day Late on the 7th Away

    From the 6th Yet Never

    Empty of Words

    of Soul Now Unless

    It is too Late into the Night

    Like Last Night in A Day of the Heavy

    Problems of Life That Folks With Plenty of

    Money Have Like World War III Discussions

    Over Oval or Square Glass in New Front Doors

    Replacing A Fourteen Thousand Dollar Roof

    When A Small Ripple is Noticed by

    Wife That’s Existed Through

    2 Shingle Changes Since

    1993 Close to When

    You Are Born

    in ’91 If i have

    The Year Correct From
    Close to 8 Years Ago Now

    When We Met online on Your Soul

    Site of Navigating All the Hidden Paths

    Of Your Spirit iN Poetry Then As HeART Breathes Free

    iN DarK And LiGHT Still Now as Poetry Has Always Been

    A Medicine For Folks With Extreme Moods So they Stay in

    Order of Art So Science Won’t call Them A Disorder With a Label Hehe…

    So what Will We

    Name A FRiEnD

    Surely Someone

    We Will Relate Soul

    All oF iT too Without Fear

    Of Judgement And that’s Why

    Folks Pay So Much to See Psychotherapists

    As They Get Paid to Never Get Upset for Who We Truly Are…

    It’s True Some Days the Quiet Friend Who Listens is the Best Friend of all…

    What i really Loved So Much Now as i Look Back about Your Poetry is You Let

    All Your Soul Escape And Really Let Yourself Be Vulnerable to the World this way…

    Not everyone

    is able to

    Do this

    Truly

    Very Few

    In these Days

    Of Mechanical Machine

    Cognition Tool Ways of Short
    Button Pushes For Recognition

    Shallow with only one Emotion
    A Quick Dopamine Hit And that’s All…

    It’s Really Amazing The More We Pour Our
    Souls Out The More We Grow as Soul The Deeper

    We Become As Human to Touch Others as Our Stories

    Become Part of their Souls as Yours Did Mine True a Role

    Model For What i would Eventually Be able to Do As Story Teller

    True and

    Vulnerable
    Unafraid

    to Stand

    Totally Naked

    This Way in Every

    Way Before the World

    Free For You See When We

    Are Able to Do this We Become a FRiEnD

    With All No Specific Lover or Friend Just A Friend With God

    True As When We Open Our Selves Up to all that is There Really

    Is No Separate
    Them Only Us

    Is it easy to

    Do No

    A Work

    oF A Lifetime

    To Be Come Free

    With Wings That Are No Fear

    Of DarK Thru LiGHT Shall We

    Illuminate Others in Both Yes We Will…

    Anyway there is still No Resolution Really

    Whether to Keep the Honda Civic That Looks

    As Young as Ever And Drives As Smooth as it always

    Has with only an Oil Change every Six Months in Lieu

    of Buying a New SUV SuBaRU That Costs Two Thirds

    Of what Our House Cost back in ’93 Again When You

    Were Only Two Years Old if i Have the Math Correct

    Yeah gotta Another Friend The Age of My Home

    too With Baby on the Way And Another Your

    Age Who i Just Related a Humming

    Bird Song too as You Both

    Approach 30 Now

    Unmarried Yes

    With no Child

    Nice i Feel

    Best is

    i Am

    one

    Who

    Decides Always

    To Stay As FRiEnD

    of All No Matter What may

    come next till death do us part

    Indeed i got Married to God i don’t do Weddings Small….

    SMiLes Dear Lala Rukh Hope Your New Home And Job

    Is Going Well Hope You Are Safe and Well and Most Important

    i Hope You are Finding Loving Connections in Flesh and Blood

    Life Smiles i Love That Most Yet i Decide Now to Give my Life Away As Story…
    True You Helped me See Benefit in This Giving to All Others Freely mY FRiEnD…

    It’s Kind of Amazing to me Connecting to A Human In Someway at least for 8 Whole Years

    And Never Falling off the Wagon of Connecting i Used to Wonder How Folks Made FRiEnDS

    In Life

    They

    Put in the

    Work They Were

    Always The Last ones

    Standing to Give Even More

    Hehe and I thought it was Just

    Something Else Like Work or School

    Or Becoming Financially Independent by Age 47 That was so Dam easy without Studying

    True i Followed Goals i Didn’t Live in an Art of Love Now All is For Giving Thanks GivinG LoVE

    FRiEnD

    is the

    Humming Bird Who Stays

    And True This Humming Bird

    Flies Far Yet Always Returns Now to

    Stay And Never Truly Goes Away my FRiEnD…

    That’s A Greatest Work of Art i Find In this Life Humming

    Bird Wings of Love

    -Humming Bird
    Naked on A
    Wing in

    FliGHT

    oF LoVE Free Seeing Being i Am..:)

  10. SMiLes Dear Lala Rukh the 6th Arrives Again in March of 2021
    Just Got Through Celebrating 9 MiLLioN Words of Long Form
    Poem Writing in 90 Months “SonG oF mY SoUL” And Now

    The Subchapter “FB Profile Pic Bible” That i have Been
    Including in the Description Areas somewhere Between
    7 to 9 Thousand Words Or So In Each One Ever Since

    Memorial Day Weekend of 2017 All 45 Months Now
    Arises to 5 MiLLioN Words True not only on my Blogs

    Yet on FB Too With A Substantial Part of the

    Multi-Media Illustrating it Still Coming Now

    too So Many Memories of Dance Smiles

    With Ecstatic Joy of Folks As usual

    Yes of Course Women Mostly

    Yes the Age when i met

    You Here almost 8 Years-
    ago now Promising You a Forever
    FRiEnD Then Never Going Away on the 6th of

    Each Month To Return to Share Part of my Life
    With You Still So Young and Making Your Way through
    All Your Struggles and Successes of Life in a New Country Now…

    Smiles as You know i earned 3 Degrees and was satisfied Just Serving
    Out Shoes in a Military Bowling Center Sharing Smiles Across the Counter

    Listening Intently Laser Focused With Green to Blue Changing Eyes Depending

    On the Emotions Then From Stories of Others Passing The Day or Night Sharing with

    Me on the Other side of the Counter Comprising Their Soul Stories Of Life Renewed

    With me Each Day Hehe i never Said Much then And True i would Have never noticed

    it Yet the Old Military Men Said all the Young Women Who visited me across the Counter

    Just Fell in Love Telling their Stories to me they used rather Crude Language to Describe

    How they Felt that Love

    Yet true Only From

    A Man’s

    View

    For what

    They might

    Imagine Love

    to ‘Physically Be”

    For A Women Not unlike
    Them as Men Hehe.. anyway

    i guess it happened at least once

    With Smiles as across the counter

    Is Where Katrina Met me.. True Glad

    i got that Job it Paid off in ways that Money

    Will Never Measure Yet a Smile Will Always

    Meet and Greet Forevernowmore for Real…

    There was a Military Policeman Who

    Often Came in For Dinner

    At the Food Place there

    He Asked Me how

    Long i had

    Been

    Working There and

    When i said almost 2 Decades

    He Was simply Aghast as He said

    How Possibly Can you Be So Joyous

    Working in the Same place So Long

    Perhaps He Didn’t Understand

    That Each Eye to Eye

    Contact With

    Windows

    of Souls

    Was the Birth of

    A New UniVerse Whole

    In Multi-UniVerse Way to Be Now Then

    Perhaps that is why my Love Never Fades

    For Friends As Old Friends Are the Same As

    New Friends to me.. Smiles Dear i am always

    Birthing New UniVerses of Love And

    The Old Ones Feel no

    Different

    Than

    the New ones now…

    i surely understand

    Now Not Everyone Feels Souls

    The Way i Do Yet What Gift it is to Simply Love Free

    Truly It Was Hard for me to Transform My Green to Blue

    Changing Listening Eyes to Words Yet of Course That’s What

    You Do When You Must Wear Shades As Words Become Windows

    of Soul And Sure You Dance too When A Face Is Covered With Mask

    To Connect As Loving Energy too in Non-Verbal Language Still True…

    As Dance Needs No Words to Talk Thankfully With Shades No Eyes

    Thankfully Wearing A Mask No Mouth to Smile We Will Persevere

    As Soul

    No

    Matter

    What Challenge

    Comes Yet With

    Will To Love More

    No Matter What Tool

    We use to Make This Love Still Breathe…

    You Recommended i tell Stories that Expressed
    Emotions that Others Feel And Go to Word Press
    And Then Connect Where it was More Fun Than
    The Google Blogspot Avenue i Blogged
    Before It’s Been 8 Years Now

    As of 3.10.2013 Anniversary

    Date for That i Am Also

    Celebrating Starting

    Blogging on Google

    Free Blogspot Avenues then
    With 90 Months of Writing Longest
    EPiC Long Form Poem “SonG oF mY SoUL”
    9 MiLLioN Words And True there is Another
    Subchapter Titled “Nether Land Bible” As that
    Effort Arises to 6.6 MiLLioN Words Now in 57
    Months of Writing too for it’s True This is A “Never
    Land Place” Of Love For All DarK Thru LiGHT Now

    And True As Never Ending Stories And Youth of Love
    Within Refuses to Grow Old and Die Now A Bit Like Peter
    Pan i am or at Least Pan of the Forest Just Free to Be Loving True

    With That i’ll take ‘This Flute’ And Continue to Serenade the Moon And Feel the
    Sun Shining Within Star of Soul Loving Life That Never Grows Cold Sharing Warmth to Breathe…

    True A Meaning
    of Life Breathe
    LoVE iN

    A Way of

    Giving Sharing
    That Never Grows
    Cold Arting Colors of LiFE my FRiEnD

  11. When I first read your story in my email, I was shook. I had words in my mind but nothing to say. Alhamdulillah that you moved on strong. Alhamdulillah that you’re you. Alhamdulillah that it didn’t break you, even though it was no less than a tornado. I can only imagine, and you’ve been through. Much admiration for your strength and inside beauty, and much love for my friend and favorite, you.

  12. Intelligence
    Is What We
    See
    Wisdom
    Is Our Breath🎶

    God Is the God That
    Becomes The Devil
    to Love The Devil

    And

    BecoMes Love
    True THere Are
    Different Levels

    Of Faith Breathing Real Love

    And So Many Levels of Hell as 66 Months From Wake
    to Sleep Will Pray Tale With a Pain Assessed Worse
    Than Crucifixion And Numb Even Lower
    Without Even A Memory of A Smile
    Making the other 18 Disorders
    in Synergy of Life Threat Then
    A PlayGround of Heaven in Hell

    Entails Patience And The Fires
    Of Hell To Endure to Love A

    Devil

    As

    Much As

    An Angel Same
    To See What A Devil

    Offers God An Ability to Breathe

    Loving the Lowest MaKinG Love

    HiGHesT Virtue in Hell and Heaven Same

    You See This is Why i’m A FRiEnD Who Never

    Goes Away i am A Devil’s (me) Best Friend in Hell And Heaven too…

    True A Battle
    We All Face Now

    Within DarK Thru
    LiGHT to Come
    To BREaTHE

    Wisdom

    Our DarK
    Side And
    Full Moon

    Graduating to
    Source of Sunshine Within
    This God This Love Worth All the Wait
    SMiLes Dear Lala Rukh It’s the 6th and
    Usually in the Years You Visit in Same
    Months i Wait until a Next Month
    To Visit You Yet this 6th today
    Taking You Around the
    Globe for the

    Stories

    Others Help Generate
    With me in Just one Evening
    And Morning of my Life SaMe

    In All Virtue Love it’s Not So Much
    if ‘Others Return’ it is Patience of Will Grace of
    Strength Love Enduring Most Our ‘Job’ Our Breath of Life Remaining Now

    So Now ‘Depth of the Story’ Continues…

    Faux God LiveS iN Book
    Covers Real God Is Wind
    Eagle’s Fly 🦅 Yet True
    Still Trying my Best

    To Fit

    God in Words

    Literally Yes No

    Joke Literally Writing

    An 8.9 MiLLioN Free Verse
    Whitman Flavored Longest
    Form Poem Bible of

    My Own
    As Yes as
    Whitman

    Relates
    i Am my
    Own Priest
    Of Thine Eyes
    Of Cosmos Order
    And Chaos Magic
    Of Art True in Writing
    “SonG oF mY SoUL”
    Housed in Several

    Blogs

    And So

    Many Other

    Avenues Just

    Seeds Innumerable

    Spread Around A Globe

    Yes Fully Illustrated With

    Over 100,000 Photos And

    Over 10,000 YouTube

    Songs And Other

    Supporting

    Arts And

    Sciences Public

    Dancing To Achieve

    Continuous Autotelic

    Flow Generating All

    These Creative Winds

    More Than Half

    The Distance

    Around The Globe

    In 89 Months Of Free

    Verse Dance Yes Yes

    As Fully Documented

    ALonG All The Way

    In 14,404 Miles

    Of Dance And

    8.9 MiLLion

    Words Of

    Song Closest

    i Have

    Arrived

    To Express God
    This Energy This

    Nature All Is When
    A Terrestrial Dance
    Moving My 242 Pound
    Body That Still Leg
    Presses Up To 1520
    Pounds At Age

    60 While like
    The Carpenter’s
    Song ‘Close to You’
    Plays And The Young
    Woman Follow me

    Around Town

    Capturing

    me By Voyeur

    Video To Gain

    Social Media

    Likes When

    my Body Gains

    Enough Balance

    To Take

    Flight on

    Land Seriously

    Writing A Bible

    11 Times Smaller

    By Innumerable

    Ghost Authors

    Over Centuries

    And Only

    Walking

    On Water

    Is Kindergarten

    And i’m Still only

    Just Scratching

    The Surface Of

    All The Nature

    Of God in ‘Grade School’

    And God Yes If Any So-Called

    ‘Christian’ Gives me

    Any Flack it’s Worth

    Noting i Actually

    Read Their tiny

    BooK Now

    Go Back

    And

    Read it

    Open it Up
    To Where You
    See John 14:12

    And Remember

    John 3:16

    Only

    Waits

    For Greater

    Revision As i Will
    Freely Tell Them Read
    It Weep And Gnash

    Your Frowny

    Face Teeth

    If They Like

    Yet The FacT iS

    i Am Real

    And i

    Write

    My Own

    Dam Story

    Of HeLL And Heaven
    Both As True There

    Is the Sunny Side Up

    Version Of John 14:12

    And Hell Part Too

    Yes ‘The DarK

    Side of The Moon’

    It’s Kind Of

    A Tradition

    Sort Of A ‘Human

    Hero Archetype Story’

    ReaLiTY Again

    And Again

    Always

    Humanly

    Returning

    Shall You Strip

    Off All Your Clothes

    Of CuLTuRE Spoon-Fed

    And Burn

    Now Until

    Your Butterfly

    Sprouts Wings

    Out of Cocoon

    No Hurry

    Devil

    Waits

    Forever

    Now For WingS AGAiN

    Hehe So i’ll Wait

    For

    You too… 😈 👼

    A BLacK Hole That
    Sucks Everything

    In to it

    Yet

    Not Us…

    -Trump
    And Yes
    All Stuff
    Related to
    The “Dark
    Death Star
    Force Meme”

    Yet

    You

    See DarK
    Stimulates
    The LiGHT

    Of Us

    Indeed

    Do Not Doubt

    Any Light Bringer

    Yes

    Force

    Of The

    Dark Trump too…

    LeSSoN 319 Dark Side
    Of the Moon 🌚 Is
    Not Really A DarK
    LeSSoN Yet
    One of
    Sunshine
    Still To Come
    True There Are

    Two Sources Actually
    More Within Inside
    Most Reliable Yet

    Outside Above
    So Below And

    All Around As
    Truly All That

    Vibes In
    Higher Frequencies
    Of Energy Moves Connects

    Creates More All Of Existence
    Together Hands Eyes of God
    Hold Together DarK Through
    LiGHT Never Ending Landing

    Story Soul Of God All That

    Is Existence Energy No

    Distance Space Or

    Time Not Even

    Matter As You Dear

    FRiEnD And me Touch

    Through This Fiber Optic

    Cable In Energy Speed

    oF LiGHT Now Beyond

    Again Time, Distance

    Space or Even

    Matter As

    No Part

    Of My Organic

    Body Required As

    my Soul is Delivered

    To You For Review

    You May Rate

    my Soul

    As You

    Wish for

    It Is my

    Saturday

    Wish To Give Y.O.U. 💫🤗

    SMiLes i’m Sure Life

    Is A Dream as i Don’t

    ‘Know’ How to Do It
    That’s

    When

    All the Magic
    Just Comes Free
    i ‘Just Do It’ And Don’t
    Even Have to Sell Shoes..:)

    It’s True Waves of Life Now
    Raging Into Headwinds More

    Decades May Go By Yet

    Even True After

    Living That
    Far Still Days

    to Be Free to Be You
    As LonG As We Breathe

    Gift of Time We Do to Free..:)

    Trapped Trapped Trapped

    In A Small Town Yet

    A Market Place of

    Goods From

    Global

    Cultures Far and
    Wide Yes And An Earth

    Store in A Mall More to Enjoy too

    So Many Ways of Life More to See

    All that’s Left to Do is Somehow Fly
    To See New Souls of Life How They Breathe…

    And Finally A Fiber Optic Cable to Fit All of me
    Through Now at the Speed of Life i Fly All Around

    The World And Visit Kind People Just Like You Ava

    With SMiLes

    Happy

    Weekend

    Dear FRiEnD

    Sharing Wings

    With You Again Free..:)

    Time Time Time
    Tick Tock Tick Tock

    Time Time Time
    Where is the

    Clock

    Cuckoo

    Flew Away

    Again Over

    A Clock Nest

    Hands With No

    Clock Finally Free to Tell Time

    to Go Back to Hell WiTH SMiLes

    No Deadlines No Deadlines Alive..:)

    Never Minding Dance
    Dancing Minding Flows
    Dancing Creates Song

    Breathes
    Frees Gravity
    FRiEnDS AGAiN🌊🎶

    Inspire And SMile
    Dear Ava Surely
    A Beautiful Way
    Of
    Life
    Thank You😊💫

    Be Careful SWiPinG ‘Left/Right’…
    Be Very Very Careful Verily True…
    Not All ‘Online Wizards’ Are Nice…

    “We’re Off to See the Wizard”
    Because Because Because
    Be Cause True None of ‘Them’ Have
    Actually Met the ‘Real me’ YeT HeHe

    True
    my FRiEnD
    God
    Who
    Breathes Us🎶🌊

    LiGHT And DarK People Who Come Through
    And Do Not.. Equally Inspire me to Do All That Is

    This iS oNe God And ‘JeSuS’ That Is True Love
    Never Ever Sending Someone Away to Hell

    It’s What
    Love Does
    When Real
    And True Never Ever
    Gives Up On ‘You’

    HeART
    First
    ALWaYS❤️

    To: True Fall Of Humans After The Apple

    of Nature Away From: LoVE oF i AM

    Have You Ever Started a Thought Now From
    HeART That is What You cannot Word as Soul
    Yet Feel Will Be the Birth of Love Yes As.. Spirit
    Comes So Naturally as Poetry For How Long
    Will it take for a Moon Flower Within So Deep to
    Deliver the Words of Love Even More for True How
    Sweet it is to Imagine How Beautiful A Child You and
    Your Future Lover will Create that You Describe as
    LoVE iNCaRNaTE
    Both Father
    And Child
    And Mother
    And Father of All
    Who Are Concerned and
    Become the Force of Love
    to Eventually Walk on Two Feet
    To Dance and Sing Love Goes on and
    Never Dies When Spread as Love From
    Seed to Shining Shores as Beach of Loving
    Eyes and Smiles for Everyone Alive and the
    Rest of Nature True.. Love is the Legend that
    And Who Never Goes Away as Long as the
    Flower of Love Continues to Propagate
    As Fresh and Never Stale Beyond
    the Illusions of Time Distance
    And Space sure Even
    Matter too in some
    Ways Greater of
    Moon Children Spreading
    Through Fiber Optic Cables
    Just about Like Beam me up and
    Around the Globe ‘Scotty’ for there are
    No Wings Quite Like what A World Wide
    Web Brings Yet Still How Precious is Human
    Flesh Reminding me of that Very Short Period
    of Days Back in ’97 with the Opportunity the Only
    Opportunity i would have then to touch a Child of my
    Flesh but True we Do all Share basically the Same DNA
    And We Do Have a Natural Propensity to Come to Love So
    Much what we continue to Feed our Mind.. For What We Do
    Value Most in Life From Dark though Light.. For me at Least all i will
    Likely Ever Create is the Art i Bring now to who ever it comes to Next.. So in this
    Way now i guess i am a Moon Flower Like You too.. but i just will not Have to Go to
    the Hospital to Deliver Now as the Baby Bird Sleeps So Sweetly Through the Cold
    Night as Words Do Come before the Child in You Comes and Starts to be Delivered
    More before the Daylight’s Coming Morning Break ugh.. Before Numbers and Stuff
    like that Must Be Crunched again.. Yes something about Crunches that and will be
    So Much Fun too.. i’m thinking Abdominal Crunches at this Moment but that is
    Entirely another Story to Deliver so Let’s Stick to Baby Birds for Now With
    Wings of Love that and who Will Never Fear the Freedom of Sunrise
    Morning Break for the Sky is one Waiting with the Sun to Bring
    Flower Children more of Moon Child Day Delight yes it is
    like that Movie “Never Ending Story” Where the
    Little Boy in the Book Seeks to Help the
    Damsel Princess in Distress so
    Far Away from the Print
    in Pages of Books
    Yet as Close
    as Legend
    Dreams come to Birth
    As Surely More than Flesh and
    Blood We Birth as Creativity is only
    A Word of Song Away and a Step of Dance
    Still to come as Morning Light Fertilizes again
    The Dream of Fruition Still to Come to Give and Share more..
    Yes i Remember still the “Never Ending Story” and all the Little Boy Had to
    Do.. as i Believe He was about 7 Years Old Maybe 8.. Yes.. All He Had to Do then
    Was Scream to the Top of His Lungs ‘Moon Child’! And then the
    Labor of Love Will Be Over as EarthQuakes Come Still
    And Raging Waves of Ocean Become even more
    Still as Glassy Ocean Eyes of God come to
    Rise as Love Once Again in Peace and
    Harmony of Waves that and who
    Spread so Much Joy and
    Love Across the
    Ocean Still
    So Calm
    With and as
    the Peace and
    Harmony of Love
    that and who only Exists
    to Deliver More Love to the World
    in all the Ways Arts and Sciences come
    as it is in a Moment of Embrace as Nirvana
    And Bliss Never Ends a Valentine Wish in one
    Second for a Big Bang of Love To Never End for all
    iN Equal Bliss of Love Yes to Give and Share even more..
    “More Than A Feeling” as One Rock Group Named “Boston” Sings
    And “Don’t Look Back” too as Lord Knows that Song was Playing
    When i was Truly First Touched Really Touched by Love and
    then of course there is a Song by the Same Group Named
    “A Man I’ll Never Be” But no one Should Ever Give up
    On A Dream to Be Whatever Woman and or Man
    They Wish to Be.. Wow those Were Great
    Songs From When i was Just 18 Years
    Old With My First So-Called
    Lover as Such
    When Young
    Love Does
    Love
    Never
    Aging
    Ever
    Aging now when
    Real For True i Feel
    That Love is Real no
    Matter What God Feels the
    Growing Pains of all the Labors of
    Love and Grins a little Bit until God
    Smiles all the Way Across the Skies
    And Beyond iNFiNiTY whenever wherever
    and however Love is Birthed as Real and True
    What a Lovely Child You and Your Future ‘Perfect’
    Lover Will Create a Child of Love Perhaps a Son always
    as the Nature of Love the Face of God Smiling Beyond iNFiNiTY
    Where Space and Time and Distance No Longer Exists Just the
    Moon
    Flower
    And the
    Moon Child of Love
    Wow only if i could add
    all those Songs as an option
    to Listen to with all these Words
    But Wait! There is “Legends of Love”
    And there is YouTube and Copy and
    Paste in Multiples of more than one Song
    Oh Lord Thank God Love on the Internet Never Disappears
    Grows Old or Even has to Burp or Throw up Online hehe.. Yes
    True No Dirty Diapers to Change Nothing Messy along the way
    And A Figure as Pristine as Katrina’s Still and of Course Yours too.. hAha..
    Unlike ‘Trump’ i do not use Numbers to Rate Love Only String Theory and the
    God
    Particle
    of Love
    will
    Possibly
    Rate Love..
    For it’s True online
    Making Babies of Love
    May Be Different as there
    are ‘thots’ Always Circling the
    Globe Just waiting to Be ‘impregnated’
    By other ‘thots’ Circling the Globe that
    and who come into Alignment So Fresh
    And Clean What they come to Deliver is New
    Works of Art that Express Love so Much more..
    Wow
    isn’t
    ‘Internet
    Sex’ and
    the Delivery
    of Love Babies
    of Art Great too..
    anyway something to
    Do until ‘the Perfect’ Man
    Greets and Meets You and Gives
    You so Much more than Words Will
    Ever Bring Yet True there are Feelings True
    too.. Senses that come From Words too.. And
    Gosh
    there
    are so
    many more
    ‘Thots’ to come
    As Somedays Love
    this Way Seems to Last
    Forever and a Day in a ‘Never
    Ending Story’ that Feels this way
    as True Lovers
    are the
    Legends
    That and
    Who Refuse
    Everything yet
    Delivery of Love more..
    Until Love Graduates
    And Gives even more..
    Anyway there
    is one
    thing
    Left
    to Say:
    HeLLoVE

    How Do i Know For
    if i Hugged You on
    The Midnight
    Beach
    With
    Only
    You or
    i am Your
    Best Well
    Wisher At
    Your Wedding
    Hugging You There
    The Feeling is the Same
    SMiLeS
    i Do
    Believe
    i Finally
    Earned
    My Wings and
    i will never Have
    To go Back to
    Hell Now
    How
    Wonderful
    It is to Have
    At Least one
    FRiEnD to help you
    Never Go Back to
    Hell the Place
    With No True Love…

    The First And Last Flower
    Moon Traveled Far Seeing
    Millions and Millions of
    Flowers Look Above
    Taking the Moon
    For Granted
    When it
    Comes
    Always Counting
    On the Sun to Rise
    For Light and Warmth
    Until one Day A Special
    Little Flower that some
    Took For Granted as
    Well Looked Up
    At The Moon
    Seeing So
    Much More
    For this Flower
    Saw the Moon as
    Star Equal And Even
    Greater to the Sun for
    A Way Beyond Even
    Visible Light that
    Touched the
    Flower that
    Looked Like
    A Little
    Flame to
    The Moon
    But You See
    The Moon Like
    No one Else Saw
    And Still Sees The
    Magnificent Size of
    The Little Flame
    Flower’s Soul
    The Moon
    Could
    Not Speak
    So the Flame
    Flower Became the
    Moon’s Voice not
    Only That Spirit
    Heart and Soul
    Too Hence
    The First
    And Last
    Poet
    Is
    Born
    The little
    Flame Flower
    Is the Moon Flower
    Who Blooms Night
    And Day in Eyes of Moon

    “That’s” ‘Why’ ‘Haters’ make
    me Laugh And Lovers
    Make me Smile..
    oh God iN So
    Many Ways
    THaT SMiLes
    Do Go And STill CoMe NoW

  13. I am so happy for you Lala.
    It is inspiring to see what you made out of this really bad situation.
    A lot of people give up… but I’m glad you endured the pain and found your true self.
    Your poems and posts always gave such hints but i didn’t want to ask…
    It’s good to know that you’re in a much happier place now.
    Will wait for happier poems of self discovery now..

    Good Luck!

  14. “WHITE SHADOWS” Story of a white pearl that turned
    to ashes while waiting for a phoenix to be born inside her !”

    “What’s Next”

    SMiLes Lala Rukh Nice
    To Hear From You Yet
    of Course Even Nicer
    To See You Expressing
    What is inside You Again…

    What Stories What Songs
    What People Do We ReMeMBeR

    Most of Course
    What Touches
    Us at the Lowest
    Points of Our Life

    What Helps Us Rise
    Up Again Out of the Ashes
    to BREaTHE Wings of Phoenix
    Out of Fires of Life That Burn So Numb

    DarK
    Abyss
    of Soul
    To Come And
    Go As LiGHT ReTuRNS

    “Firework” By Katy Perry i Attempt
    Not to Use Songs Over Again in the Poetry
    TheMes And MeMes Free i Create For Real Yet

    In the Winter of my Soul in Early 2010 That Place
    WHere Soul of Love Hears No Story, No Song,
    No Love of Human Within Or Love That Tries So
    Hard to Break Through By Loved Ones Still Breathing Love

    And Surely No Dance AeonS AWaY From Dead Soul Within…

    At A Gym All Covered in Jacket So Cold Ear Plugs a Cricket
    Sounds Like Freight Trains of Misery Street Lights At 3 AM
    Looking Directly into the Sun of Pain Not Even Able to go Outside

    Left Breathless
    By The Environment
    of Nature Free Even
    Stumbling into the Backyard
    Having Trouble Making a TV Dinner
    Not Even Able to Play A Game of Tic Tac Toe
    At The Peak of all the Pain and Numb A Song Comes

    On the Radio At the Gym as i tried everything to escape
    Pain And Numb Nothing Would Work to Feel A Drop of Soul in Hell…

    A Voice Song Soul Distant About a ‘Firework’ of Soul Just one Drop of Life it Brought
    to Soul From A Distant Spirit Powerful Enough to allow the Devil one Drop of Hope….

    SMiLes my FRiEnD the Song Comes BacK NoW to Save A Nation From Dying Soul

    For i am Reborn as You are Now Phoenix RiSing From ASHeS AGAiN Your Freedom

    What You Always Desired Most Becomes All Yours And No one else’s to Control

    And Now

    An Entire

    Country Waits

    To Be Healed With

    Fireworks of Love for Truth in Light Again…
    Hehe still Trying to Finish Publishing the other

    MacroVerse Yet Soul won’t Wait on Mechanical Cognitions of Life…

    Be You Be Art

    Be Life

    Be Free

    Yes Do

    Breathe With

    Wings Fully Spread With No Fear

    i See You in your New Home Fresh
    Rose Risen From Thorns FLoWeR

    You Are Now Free Dear Lala Rukh So Proud of You
    So Happy For You Keep Soaring Yes Keep Shining FRiEnD

    Be

    Firework
    Wings Live BREaTHE Free..:)

  15. Hi Lala.

    Hearing from you always cheers me up, even though the news isn’t always good. My reflex is to say I’m sorry about the problems you’ve gone through, but I don’t think I am. I can see that though some pain persists that you’ve put them behind you and have turned them into opportunities for growth. I admire you Lala.

    I’d wish you the best for what comes next, but life isn’t like that. There’ll be more struggle, more pain and more growth.

    The Buddha said “Life is suffering”. Nietzsche said “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”. But I think what a Sri Lankan friend of mine named Naji once told me is perhaps more apt for you. He said “Allah tests you in flames but protects you with love”.

    Be with love Lala. It’s always with you.

Please share your thoughts, I value them !

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