I just recently watched a series named Haunting of the hill house. I thought, like any other horror series or movie, it will be funny! I would have a laugh in my mind for every scene that’s supposed to be scary, and move on to something else. Well, I guess not. I am still stuck in the series even though I have finished watching it.

Some imaginary story illustrated in the imaginary world of TV and Film can sometimes have that effect on your mind. You know sometimes… sometimes you are watching a sad scene and tears start flowing down your cheeks without your eyes noticing. And sometimes your heart smiles without your lips noticing. It’s just all an imaginary world that sucks you into it. Lets you play a part in it where you watch it with your eyes while your heart and mind start their work. The work of relating your own memories, fears, guilt and emotions to the world your eyes are watching. But can some series or film be that relate-able that you start living it? Every day, 24/7? Or have you been living it for-ever.. even before you watched it?

I want to write about it. People ask me how was the series and I say oh it’s amazing, I loved it. When no one else seem to like it that much. I guess it’s all in your mind how you take the things you see. Whether you feel the things you see or just watch them. And sometimes, something, out of the blue, triggers your deepest most dark self that you hide behind so many walls. Like demons who lived in that haunted house. When a person dies in that house, he lives there forever. Exactly like every emotion in your mind. And heart. Emotions also die but they live there, inside you forever. They haunt you in the most mysterious ways but they don’t scare you because it’s not a scary movie, you know. It’s you. It’ not supposed to scare you. It’s just yourself. Dead but breathing. The self that you killed thinking you’ll get rid of it. But it’s still there, caged forever inside you. And it WILL haunt you.

I have lived every character while watching it. I have been to the house so many times. I have felt so much pain that could cause the stones to fall from the sky and smash windows of human logic. I have built so many walls around me that no one could enter and i thought i was safe behind those walls but in reality, i was in more danger than ever. I have been terrified of the dark shadows that haunted me, shadows that were only my own reflection in the mirror of time.  I have felt fear, the kind where you see something approaching you, something really bad, but you can’t move. You can’t do anything to save yourself. And that bad thing, it gets closer. And that fear, it gets stronger. So strong that your heart stops beating. And.. I have felt love that poisons you to death.

And I… I wander through the house for hours, with madness that makes me sane. And then I put this madness aside whenever it gets just a little weaker, with every voice approaching me from the outside world. The more I listen to the world outside, the weaker this madness gets. And then I am out, again. In the world… to conquer it. But that house, that dark haunted house, it stays inside me. With it’s firm walls and sensibly shut doors. With silence that sits on the floors while waiting for me, with it’s back against those firm walls.

And me? I promise myself never to go back to the house again. The same promise, that I have broken a hundred times before.




10 thoughts on “Hauntings

  1. Another Year is uPon us Lala Rukh.. And this has been
    Such an Interesting Promise to Connect to Someone You
    Feel so Close to as a FrEnd Who Changes Your Life in Many
    Ways Just for Being them those Parts of Life You Spend with
    them as FriEnd.. Moving into the 66 Month now of Heaven and
    Communicating with You Here as FriEnd it’s Probably Hard to iMaGINE
    BuT AGaiN With my Memory for Text i can and will Still See Just about every
    Word i Wrote to you and you Wrote to me so imagine what’s it’s Like Writing 12 Million
    Words into the 98th Month of Doing that now And the Ability to Picture Groups of Words
    And Photos to Go Along with the Words Since the Very Beginning on November 25th, 2010…
    That’s a lot
    of Words
    And a Lot of
    People thousands
    upon thousands i have
    Connected to online since
    11.25.2010 and Particularly
    in what is coming up on 65 Months
    of Writing what will Soon Come to Be
    a 6.666 Million Word Bible Poem Close to my
    Anniversary of getting out of Hell for 66 Months too..
    And Staying in Heaven now for 66 Months on or about
    January 22, 2018 Since the Release from Hell on or about
    July 22, 2013 When i met You After Losing a Very Close Friend
    And finding Unconditional Love of Friendship with You as You gave
    most everyone who visited you too.. And after You Left Rafiah saw me
    Here and Found me on Facebook and Eventually Got Married like you did
    and off and on she still visits me to say Hello and in the Interim Came Himali
    And Sohair For the Four Women From the East including You who have Helped
    me so Much on my Journey as another Friend Shawna From the U.S. and a Man
    Named gigoid too for all 6 have Been Instrumental in Completing a 6.6 Million Word
    Long Form Bible Poem with 8 King James Sized Titled Sub-Chapters along with close
    to 170K Photos taken and over 10K YouTube Video Shares getting that Job Done in 64
    Months Culminating with the Final Subchapter ‘Grand Cross Bible 2018’ for Christmas
    2018.. Part of a Trio for Christmas Day Bibles.. 2016 and 2017 too.. And True that First
    Friend that Seventh One Angel Mind Retrofit who brought me to You and dVerse and
    Prajakta an Eighth Friend From that Online Poetry Pub who Brough HiMaLi to me
    Rounds out the 8 People who were Core to Prepare me the Main Paths that it
    took to get this Covenant with just me and God Done from Within.. Smiles
    my FriEnd God Sends Angels to Help us out in Life in Many Forms
    for it is true there is a 9th Friend A Cat Named Yellow Boy who
    was a Soul Mate who helped me Regain my Soul too and
    so so many more Thousands too not even to mention
    the SPiRiTS HeARTS and SoULS of All my
    Flesh and Blood Family and Friends too
    It’s been Interesting being an Avatar
    of A Soul online but the thing
    About Online Souls
    is relatively
    They Never
    Go Away as Your
    Place is Just Another
    Place Our Souls Exist too..
    To Make Words Organic To Bring
    Words to Flesh and Blood is the MaGiC
    of that and so many other Arts Humans Make
    that are the Gifts that continue to Reach out and
    Touch People far far far after we leave this Terrestrial
    Plane Some Folks might say it doesn’t matter for i will
    Be Dead other Folks Live 100 Percent Assurance they
    are Eternal Souls and all that we give and Share is for the Same Soul
    of God that and who Lives in us and as us as in the ReaLesT of Realities
    the only
    is the Illusion
    We Make away
    from WHole so true
    my FriEnd even if i wanted
    to Ever Give up on coming Back
    here to fulfill a Human Covenant with
    you too that is no different in Essence than
    A Promise to God Who and that Lives Within too..
    it wouldn’t Matter for in the Grandest Picture that
    Humans See
    we were
    in the First Place
    from the Origin of all that is (God)
    iMaGiNE A Worlds WHeRe everyone
    Realizes We are all the Parts of the FLoWeR oF God
    It’s not Hard aT aLL when we come to meet the Angels
    God Sends to us..
    Woe it is
    to those
    who never
    Find the Hope
    the Faith and the
    Belief to Seek and
    find the Gifts Love Brings to them…
    As one Gets Older it becomes easier to Remember all of this…

  2. I have built so many walls around me that no one could enter and i thought i was safe behind those walls but in reality, i was in more danger than ever.

    I know what you mean now. I think it comes up first when Theo is talking to the little girl who sees Mr Smiley. It was hard not to remember the Pink Floyd hit when Theo laid that piece of advice on a child looking to her for answers. And I’m guessing the bit about ‘you own reflection in the mirror of time’ relates to the true identity of the Bent Neck Lady, though I don’t know how that relates to your own situation.

    But did it tell you anything about yourself you didn’t already know? Or just reiterate to you something you’d decided about yourself? Can it be horror if you get to stay in your comfort zone?

  3. Well, I’ve got through four episodes of The Haunting of Hill House but I don’t think I’ll get much further. I liked it more than the Shirley Jackson original, but sadly that’s not saying much. I’m not a Jackson fan.

    For me it doesn’t work as horror. It’s a TV drama with horror elements, used mainly as adornments. It’s not structured for suspense or terror or loss of hope but for episode length slices that follow almost identical dramatic arcs with the mandatory cliff-hanger at the end. The chief plot elements aren’t a reveal of the horror so much as reveals of the backgrounds of the various made-for-TV characters we’re meant to identify with and care about and the massively overused flashbacks are about them and to pace the episodes, not to explicate the horror. It reminds me a bit of the 1960s vampire soapie Dark Shadows, but without the atmospherics.

    I think you can do horror in TV series format, though perhaps not very seriously. I think the first series of Stranger Things shows how to fit (pulp) horror to the format while the second season sees the format overcome the theme. It’s much easier with anthologies like Black Mirror or The Twilight Zone.

    I recently watched a Swedish vampire movie that works as horror for me because the horror reaches out of the story and into me and challenges how I see things. It haunts me. Not always in a good way.

    The movie is Let the Right One In and it’s shocking not because of violence or lurid SFX but because it makes explicit the link in the modern collective unconscious between the vampire legend and not just illicit sex – which has been there since Sheridan Le Fanu – but pedophilia. It also uses the need vampires have to be invited into a house, along with their powers of compulsion, to hint at some difficult questions about the nature of consent. It’s a ‘coming of age’ movie in which you identify with the two twelve year old protagonists and it’s also a bully victim revenge fantasy. You’re definitely rooting for the vampire and it’s boyfriend. And you’re invited to overlook the slaughter of innocents. But it’s even more horrible than that. It’s very hard to escape the feeling the movie – particularly in its visuals – is attempting an apologia for pedophilia.

    So I read the book. Although the other plot elements, including the pedophilia link, were even clearer in the book the apologia aspect was absent. The movie makers put it in. Does that strike you as a bit on the sick and reprehensible side? It does me. Is it a valid way to add visceral impact to a horror movie? Tough question.

    Even without that I would have been thinking about Let the Right One In for a long time, including for a plot twist I didn’t see coming though it had been signaled more than once. I think it’s probably a great movie. I feel it’s probably a sick movie. It’s definitely horror. I’m not so sure about The Haunting of Hill House.

  4. Hi Lala Rukh.. now it’s just about
    the 6th and is in the UK here as Promised for a
    Monthly Visit for about 5 Years of keeping that promise
    on the 6th of each Month as it’s true for about 5 Months
    we talked back and
    forth when i came
    back to Life back
    in July of
    when i met
    you then..
    funny how it is
    when you remember
    everything down to what
    Shirt you wore 2 Decades ago..
    what Song you listened to at 16 Years
    old.. what the Back Yard Looked like what
    was underneath the overhanging Shed..
    the day you listened to that Song as
    You can still hear it crystal clear in
    your head just so many
    things to
    Perhaps the Dull
    have it easier in life
    than the Sharp.. true
    you have to find something
    to Occupy Your Mind a Dance
    and Song to Manage the Emotions
    So Strong Balancing From Head to
    toe.. Integrating Senses too.. it’s so
    Hard to Find
    to understand
    you if you are really
    Different and when you
    do you never want it to end
    when someone understands you that way..
    And i realize you are not really here but i just
    to talk
    and i guess
    that someone is me..
    Smiles my Friend i remember
    when you said People always go away
    and forget you.. i never do i always remember it all
    and that can be the loneliest place of all…. when there is no
    one around
    who is
    to Hear
    Your Memories
    or even who you are..
    sadly.. not even at home….
    never mind me i think i need some
    Sleep.. hope the Air Port Job is going well..:)

    But wait! there is still another place to visit before sleep..;)

  5. I think my favourite haunted house horror is The Orphanage. I only saw it once over ten years ago and it’s still haunting me.

    There’s a well regarded recent Australian one called The Babadook, but personally I don’t think much of it. Psychotic depression and fear of harming your child externalised into a not-very-scary comic book monster. I guess it’d make you uncomfortable if you’re afraid of being crushed by heavy-handed metaphors.

  6. Thanks for the tip. I’ll check it out.

    I’m a big fan of horror – though it’s not always what other people think of as horror. Mostly I like the stuff that keeps working long after you’ve stopped watching. Like when you get free extra episodes in your sleep and wake up sweating and ready to scream.

    I think my favorite is the Russian war movie Idi i smotri. Stories based on true events make the best horror. They’re more horrible.

    Fahaad put me onto an excellent horror/sci-fi series called The Black Mirror. Take a look if you get the chance. It’s not horrible because it’s true. It’s horrible because it’s coming true.

    • Haha you’re right about getting those free episodes, i love them despite the scare they give me. I have seen black mirror, it’s not scary it’s just so intelligent and true that the truth scares you. I love it, some episodes more than others. And i have seen babadook as well, i thought it’s just typical horror movie.. nothing special. I will try to watch this russian movie though. And in the meantime you watch the haunting of the hill house. Let’s see who gets more scared 🙂

      • I’m downloading The Haunting of Hill House now.
        I’ll let you know.

        Idi i smotri has no supernatural elements. The real life actions of the Einsatzkommando in Belarus in WWII – and what it does to the mind of one young boy – is all the horror you’ll need.

        Maybe the oddest horror movie I’ve seen is the psychedelic Western El Topo. I think you already read the review of it I blogged.

  7. It’s True mY FriENd Thoughts And Actions Live Within Forever
    And A Best News oF All Is With New Thoughts And Actions
    one Will Rewire tHeir Entire Mind and Body through
    Epigenetics in Adaptation to Environmental
    Challenge for Change And Neuroplasticity
    In Terms of Use it Or Lose it and Use
    it in Kindness of Mindful and
    Body Full Awareness to
    Transform into
    A Light
    Or Perhaps
    Metaphor of
    Human Christmas
    Tree Lit up With all
    the Colors more of
    Ecstasy Now True
    Sure as ‘They’
    Still Say
    Rising Now
    More A Kingdom
    Of Heaven Within
    And Newer Science
    Terms for This Flow like
    Transient Auto-Frontality
    too with an Autotelic State
    of Being Mindfully and Body Full
    Aware wHere We simply Generate
    through Bio-Feedback all the Happy
    Neurohormones and Neurochemicals
    From Head to Toe that Spell Joy Loves
    Company either alone or allone as Oneness
    Becomes A State of Eternal Being of Bliss Within..
    Anyway.. surely
    Gets Rid
    of the
    And A Free
    Moving Meditation
    Dance And A Free Write
    Upon This Keyboard iN A Dance
    Of Moving Meditation With Fingers
    And SpiRiT oF HeART SoUL iN Synch
    Verily Surely Gets A Job of Lighthouse
    And or Christmas Tree Now All Lit ui as me..
    Other Than That. Lala Rukh.. i really enjoyed
    Your Writing Here about somewhat of a Haunted
    House Within As Yes Verily True that used to be my Home
    too a Place Truly of Dark Shadows Then for me too.. but.. Yes
    Your New Blog is Named White Shadows That Erases the Dark too.
    You are a
    i encourage
    you to do it more
    Just for the Journey
    of Your Soul My FriEnd
    An Echo That IS A LiGHT Of You..:)

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