Your Thoughts ?

With that same old empty mind and heart, I sit here again and write. No specific topic in mind and no idea how long or short my words can weave this thread. I don’t know this connection, I can never understand it. The connection of my heart with your words. They say you always learn when you sit back and listen to the silence.  They say it right. This sheer silence tears up my mind… The echo of fan piercing through the calmness of summer afternoon tells me tales…. Tales that are weird, unimportant but very interesting.

Happiness, contentment….. the two things I wanted the most throughout my life. I got them…. I was a cry baby, as you know it, when I left you guys almost three months ago. In these three months I enjoyed the most happiest moments of my life….. My world turned upside down but guess what ? The down side was not that bad. It was good… It pleasured me with the most exciting tastes. I am happy with the guy my parents chose for me….. The nightmares I used to see are gone.

But…I am afraid to share my feelings right now with you. You’ll judge me wrong. I am happy but still, I feel the need of writing in distress, In the saddest hours. Life is going good…. at least for now. My past is still with me but I have learnt to live the present. I’ll share these tales some other time.

A weird thing has started happening to me. After a week or so, In the nights I have severe depression and panic attacks. I cry out loud and I don’t know why does it happen and I feel like I am drowning in darkness or something, I don’t actually understand the feeling. My mind pricks me and this condition lasts for an hour or so and the dies. I don’t know why it happens but it is severe and painful. Do anyone of you has any idea why does it happen or what it is ?

 

How Are You ?

Two months and thirteen days…I was absent from here. In two months and thirteen days I learnt a lot. Things that were invisible, things that are beautiful and ugly at the same time. Hardcore facts. While I write today after a long time, words slip out of my fingers like they used to be before. I thought they would have forgotten the path of my heart through fingers but they didn’t.

I missed you all so very much. Writing here today just to tell you that I am fine and I know you guys may have, sometime in your life while wandering through blogs, missed me too. I hope you all are writing energetically and struggling through life bravely.

I’ll be back in some days. I miss writing things out. That was my thing, it still is. In the meantime I’ll try to read your new blogs and reply to your comments.

Stay happy ! Love you all.