An Open Letter To ‘Him’

romantic-walk

Hey, Love !

Today is the day. Yes it is the day to finally tell you how I feel about you. Isn’t sharing our feelings with each other a rare thing for us now ?

Three whole years have passed by. Many years have yet to come. And you were there with me, like a shadow protecting a small nourishing plant with light green leaves and maiden buds, lying under the blue sky without any shelter but your shadow. You were there, right beside me by the dusk and dawn of my life… Through the most crucial times and the ecstatic ones. In my life’s dilemmas  whenever I have looked towards you with question marks in eyes, your words “I am here” have always proved out to be the best answers.

I reminisce the time when you told me that you love me , right after a week or so of seeing me. I was mad at you. Back then I didn’t believe in love  or most precisely ‘love at first sight‘ . I thought you may be like the other hundreds and thousands. I never knew you were ‘The One‘ . I broke your heart but I felt the pain myself. And when I realized that I love you too, it was too late. ‘Things‘ have not been at our side lately, Love. They never will be. Nature may not accept us as one but our hearts will keep this feeling sealed inside firmly.

Your cheeks are so soft like a baby’s” , I said. And you smiled. If I was a painter, I would be painting by pouring out colors of you on the canvas. You are beautiful. Your dark brown eyes still haunt me at nights leaving me stunned by their charm. Your broad forehead where I used to write my name with my finger and your hands so firm yet delicately holding mine…. Your hair… I can still feel their smoothness on my fingers. Your fragrant breath perfuming mine. That sense of protection I have felt as you en-wrap me in your arms has no comparison. Your warm embrace always melts my frozen body. I can give away everything I have to get it back. I feel so weak and vulnerable without you. The way you used to hold my hands while driving and the way we used to eat together so comfortably is unforgettable.Your decency impressed me at first and your confident personality made me fall for you. You are beautiful, Love is beautiful.

I cherish every single time when I had your shoulder while crying away my miseries. I know staying with me emotionally is never been easy on you. No one could stay with a highly depressed bipolar patient but you did. I don’t see your face for months but your voice always has a magical effect on me. You have been my best friend. You know my every secret, every little detail about me. Things I have never shared to anyone. I revealed myself to you.And you have never let me down for this. You hide your problems just not to make me worry. The fact that you care for me and  I am important to you means everything to me. You once said , “I am nothing, with you I am everything” and I engraved those words on my heart. I trust you and I believe in you, Love.

I have always been complaining to you about how you are not giving me enough of your time to talk and you were not there when I needed you. I apologize to you for all those complaints today. I got you and I thought I have got a magical prince who will understand me without me sharing anything and who will stay with me all the time. I was living with you in a fantasy world. All my dreams and wishes are tied to you. Every time they break, I break. My life has never been anything more than pain and heart aches. You are my only medicine. I look up to you for everything Love. Let me live in the fantasy world. Coming in the reality scares me. Reality is bitter. Life is bitter.

They ask me to tell why do I cherish you. I cherish you because you are mine. I cherish our seraphic relationship. I cherish you because we stood up together against the nature who exerted its full effort to make us apart. We may not be together like people use to be in this world but we will be together in our own way, forever. Hot tears trickle through my eyes and slip through my cheeks as I write this. People say Love is pain. I say abandoned Love is pain.

Let us live in our own fantasy world. Let us make a home there by a river under green trees. Let us listen to the birds chirp and fresh breeze’s music together. Let us walk hand in hand in the moon light leaving foot prints on the sand. Let us get absorbed in the symphony of rain drops.Let us enjoy snow fall in December nights.Let us build our dreams again.Let us fall into silence as words have always been useless between us. Let us sing the songs of peace and compose our own tunes. Let us dive into the valley of Love and search for the exquisite pearls of happiness and contentment. Let us solve the paradox of life together. Let us breathe without our artificial masks in the fresh air. Let us forget the realities for a moment.Let us be ourselves. Let us live, Love and laugh together as we are one. We are made for each other. I love you and I will love you forever.

                                                                                                                                                           With Love,

Your one and only Love.

This post is written in response to Daily Prompt: My Number One.

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55 thoughts on “An Open Letter To ‘Him’

  1. Written so well, I thoroughly enjoyed it…you have that certain way with words which brings lasting smiles into one’s day! You make a morning worthwhile with your realness. Beautifully shared!

  2. Your broad forehead where I used to write my name with my finger and your hands so firm yet delicately holding mine…….Let us get absorbed in the symphony of rain drops…
    Can LOVE be described any better…?
    I think never..
    Just LOVELY, My love! 🙂

  3. So touchy! And beautiful.
    I’ve read lots of your writings, and they’re all great! I can feel the essence, the pain and everything.
    You’re awesome 🙂

    • Hey Ayesha thank you so much for the beautiful appreciation. t means a lot. I am glad you can feel me. There are less people who do. Oh you are more than awesome and Lovely…You are a sweetheart ! Thank you so much for making my day ❤ xx

  4. u made me cry.. it was just awsome no words to describe ua writting.. aur haan aap kay bhai ne bilkul durust farmaya har mausam ek sa nai hota, mizaaj badalte rehtay hain bus faraq itna hain ki thoodi dair baad…
    zindagii kay har sabak ko yaad rakhna chahiye aur aisa nai hota ki jo tmhay nai mila uskay kho janay pay zindagee ruk jaye.. GOd has better plans for you and at last love finds itz way…
    a time wl cme jab pashtaogay ki maine apni zindage aisee kyun guzaare..
    ‘i dnt know u bt i feel main b is sab se guzar chukii hun aur muje b arindham jaise hi bhai milay hain samjanay kay liye.. so frgive me if i interfered so mch bt laga ki bol dayna chahiye…

  5. Does failing in an exam of a beloved subject make it less beloved? I feel that love is in what you feel… not what you get…

    Cherish the moments of life O girl that you have spent with him… as that and that alone is what you possess. So treasure your possessions and move into the future.

    And yes there are sorrows that have shadowed your past… But are pains really the things you want to treasure? No one loves pains, my dear, no one wants to be with pains. And believe me… you are no exception to it. 🙂

    Aur is typical english bhaashan ke baad thoda apni bhaasha mein keh doon… 😛 Already bahut kuchh bol chukaa hoon… thodi der aur seh le mera lecture… Bahut chhota hai 😉

    Shaayad tujhe kabhi lagaa na ho apne past mein… but yeh bharosa rakh ki is duniya mein teri importance utni hi hai jitna kisi aur ki… To kya hua ki tujhe apna pyar nahin mila… Hum hai na tere dost… Aur dosti ek behad keemti cheez hoti hai. Dost tujhe rone ke liye kandha dete hain, tere aansoo pochhte hain, tujhe hansne ke bahaane dete hain aur teri taang kheechne ka mauka bhi nahin chhorte :P. So… meri naadaan, bewakoof, nasamajh aur pyaari si behen… apne aap ko kabhi akela na samajhna… 🙂 Hum hamesha hain, aur ummeed bhi hamesha rahegi :).

    Baaki teri writing improvement… aaj nahin… Kal sure karunga 🙂
    Aaj utna time main tere mail ke reply ko de deta hoon… 😉

    • You are right…Love is what you feel and wishes and dreams attached to that love are what you get and try to get.
      I do cherish those moments , they are the only treasure I have left.
      I don’t want to treasure pains but I can’t think about anything else sometimes . this is not in my control.
      Jaanti hun dost bohat kuch hotay hain per you know meri nature itni reserve hai k dost b mujhe bhool jatay hain when I don’t share things with them. You are not my friend in real world otherwise you would have left me too. Umeed tu hamesha rahay gi…Na rehi tu me nae rahun gi.
      Mail mene perh li hai I love the additions in the story….It is the best gift out of the gifts you have given me so far. Hamesha rakhun gi isko apnay pass aur tumhain thanks b nae bolun gi isk leye. I love it.
      Writing improvement ker dia ker yaar thora time nikal k please.
      And why are you not writing these days ?

      • “I don’t want to treasure pains but I can’t think about anything else sometimes . this is not in my control.”

        I know dear sister. And there is nothing unnatural about it. Time heals all wounds… This too is no exception…

        “You are not my friend in real world otherwise you would have left me too.”

        The only thing I can do after reading this is smile :). Harek insaan is duniya mein apne feelings ke nishaan chhor kar jaataa hai… wo nishaan koi bhi dekh saktaa hai… bus sahi nazar chaahiye. Lala, agar tu real life mein meri dost hoti, to main tujhe kabhi nahin chhorta… Agar tu real life mein meri dost hoti, to… kasam se… aisa din kabhi nahin aata ki tujhe aisa din dekhna padta.

        “thanks b nae bolun gi isk leye.”

        That’s the most correct thing you have done since ages 😛

        Likhunga, Likhunga… aaj kal chhuttiyan chal rahin hain… aur tujhe to pataa hi hai… main sanki hoon… chhuttiyon mein kam likhta hoon. Waise kal parson tak likhunga… Tension na le 😛

        Waise tera comment without smilies tha… Tu mujhe daant rahi thi kya 😉 😛

        • Lol naa me tujhe daant sakti hun kya ? 😛
          Theak kehtay ho time heals everything and I am waiting for tha time.
          Aur the thing you have said about being with me brother has brought tears to my eyes. All I can say is THANKS….. You are a treasure .
          Chalo jeldi likho pher I am waiting desperately to read it 😉

  6. Well dear there is never a doubt for me that your soul is beautiful but you truly show the beauty of your heart here..finally..as a most beautiful open one…

    My tears are for your culture..and the repression that is so much a part of it..that is at least in part responsible for some of your pain….

    Well it is certainly a gift that the blogging experience is within your freedom for expression..

    And again i thank you as you gave me the courage to finally put a closure on a first love..that did remain idealized for me..just until several years ago..

    I can better see the beauty of my wife’s heart..without the ideal of something..i truly never had…

    And i only can hope that your future husband’s heart will have that same beauty…and although it might take you 34 years or perhaps forever to lose any of your love for ‘him’ .. but i still love my first love 2..in the perfect allah love kind of way..

    And yah..i do not see why you could not love your first love like that forever too..and still be within the tRueallah’s..Graces…

    Love is beautiful..and it truly means never ever never…

    Having to say your sorry for loving anyone..whether it is a first love..or even someone other people think is a horrible person…

    Love is True is LOVe is Allah IT IS ALL tHerE is at the core of all of our existence….

    So i love you dear..and thanks again for the connection with you..that has better helped me love everyone else…

    AS sAme…..

    In th@perfect Love th@ISallah…

    By the way ..i love the snow effects…

    DAm ..i’m stuck here in the sun..and never get to see the snow..at Christmas..except for a few times..when I was younger…a fluke of a flake of snow..but LOVE should never be that way….

    • OH..and i forgot to tell you..as you may remember i dance alone with allah everywhere i go now..in a kind of walk dance..even in public stores..

      Well yesterday..to celebrate the Winter Solstice.. i danced with Allah for over 8 hours..and 23 miles..at the mall where my wife shopped…

      MY NIKE PLUS..watch with GPS measured it…

      So as you might fathom..i am deeper in love with Allah than ever before…

      Considering i could not raise my arms without almost fainting..5 years ago..just walking at all is miracle enough from allah for me..

      But as they say..if you have the faith in allah..

      OH MY GOD..ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE….

    • Well yes Friend I am too against some things in my culture… They may be long term beneficial but for the short term, they seems cruel and we have to go through the short terms to reach the long ones. Love is beautiful no doubt and I don’t know about my future husband’s heart at all right now. I just hope everything goes well. I love the snow effects too 😉 Why are you stuck in the sun ? Don’t you have snow fall there ?

      • I live in Florida..and although it is the North part it hasn’t snowed here in years..

        I haven’t had to wear anything but shorts yet..and it is now into the winter..but i am little more hardy than most folks..and rarely get cold anyway…

        I’m really not complaining though..as i do love the Sun..but Snow has always felt like magic to me..and i would love to experience it some more..:)

  7. sister, i guess you took me at my word when i encouraged you to “not hold back”. you take great risk and make yourself vulnerable, and good for you!! your reality is painful to know, but it is real. you are real, and for that i love you as a brother.

    • Haha no I was actually in a mood of letting it all out. This is half fiction and half real. You have to search for the real part by yourself 🙂 Pain is my companion for life ! Love you too brother thanks for being around.

      • strange, i too find pain my shadow, even when i should have no reason to. it doesn’t make sense to me, but i’ve learned to make peace and live with my restless, painful spirit. i don’t know what is fiction and what is reality for you, but i sincerely hope for you someone who will fill you up and make pain take a back seat.

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