Forever

Open your hand, He says in a voice so calm that pinches her heart, like always. She tightens her clenched fist a bit more, for she knows once opened, not only herself but both of them will be left empty-handed once again.

They sit there, in her room beside her writing desk, staring at the laptop screen. So close but so apart that there are worlds between them. Listening to the tick-ticks and the silence, hearts sinking to immeasurable depths.

They are different. She lies. He tells the truth. She saves her world but destroys herself. He destroys his world but saves himself. Always. Yet they sit here, bound together with their weird connection, like nothing ever happened when their world is on fire. Fire? is it dangerous than silence? Of course it is. It destroys? and what does silence do? It kills. Destructed can be rebuilt, but there is no coming back after death.

She opens her fist. Nothing happens. The air still suffocates. Tick-ticks keep on piercing their hearts. and silence? It has already killed them.

I am sorry for your loss. I am sure you are sorry too, for mine. Our losses will look different, from the outside. But trust me, both of us have lost ourselves forever. Forever.

Forever.

17 July 17.

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10 thoughts on “Forever

  1. Remembering still what is was like to visit your blog
    Four Years ago as you responded in Love to each and
    every comment that came your way in High of Love..
    so many words of emotions then so many
    words expresSing your
    Soul from dArk
    thru light
    and through
    Feelings of Happiness
    that at least once you
    surmised as beyond
    Chocolate Sweetness
    in your Life,, Lala Rukh,,
    yeah,, it’s the 6th and in a personal tradition
    now of coming here that will easily last through
    the end of my writing days on earth or if your
    Blog disappears no matter what comes next
    God Willing as you say in your religion’s words
    too.. i am hear ’cause i can and will be heaR in words
    of me for now.. shall i stay that’s up to God facing some
    potential words of a Brain Tumor that i didn’t take much
    care toofor the strange smells of prophecies that come
    to some of us when open to all of God’s Power and Force
    of Love within in all the essences of feelings and senses
    that comes more when totally oPen spirited hearted
    souLed and even more.. and on top of that
    My Sister and Katrina shared the
    same ‘prophecy smell’ in sweet
    and kinda sick way with
    me yesterday..
    so.. no brain
    tumor heAR
    my FriEnd
    only Strange
    hUmor and reaLiTy
    of God at most when
    God WiNks back to those
    who serve without fail never
    dropping balls and crosses same
    of challenge to make love more real
    for all concerned as creation now real more..
    anyway.. it is those who are sad or numb or full of
    pain that one should never give up on most if love
    really exists.. otherwise it’s just a word and not much more
    than a concrete
    statue
    of
    a
    Four Letter
    word for as you
    once said one time now..
    i am a real human and now
    all a real human really is is when
    bBorn of God as Nature stays is LovE NoW
    my friEnd,, all lines come as finisH as stART oF LoVE NOW..:)

  2. I love the way your write , it’s connects with my heart . I feel like you are giving voice to my thought. I would i love to talk to u if u feel appropriate . Follow me on Insta! … samay9999

  3. This was just….so…painfully beautiful ! I loved loved loved it ! And I’ve missed seeing you around. Although, I myself have been MIA from blogging world since a while. Hope you are alright. Love, Zee ❤

  4. SMiLes my FriEnd Lala Rukh
    11:04 PM on 7.17.17 my
    time STill.. i arrive
    oN iN my
    Aeroplane
    oF onLine
    to once again
    visit my FriEnd
    i have visited without
    fail for every post she
    makes since July of 2013..
    so why would i Love a Friend
    who only provides a vague reflection
    in a computer screen of her Face and
    Arms on Desk neatly arranged and not
    cluttered so much with a mind and
    desk like mine.. hehe.. a lot
    going on up tHere
    and on my Desk
    too.. as
    surely with
    your emotions
    and senses too as
    you continue a path out now
    of daRk to LIFE more as LiGht
    from a place wHere perhaps muse
    escapes for creativity more than before
    and i am pleasantly surprised to see you heaR
    this third time since the end of May ’16 as i remember
    a milestone of writing a ‘Phi Bible’ then too at 1.618
    Million Words that i made you a paRt of as i have
    from the stARt of mY Writing Adventure to
    expand a Grinch heArt of Before
    wiTh SpiRit of SoUL
    GroWinG
    more
    WitH
    word size
    and steps in tandem
    as 47 months now of
    Writing on Word Press as
    you suggested i change over
    to that blogging platform back in
    August of 2013.. otherwise i might
    have never started writing a Longest
    Long Form Poem that now grows a milestone
    of 5 Million Words along with 7700 miles of Public
    Dance in that Same period of time.. noted now by the
    Public Audience at large as folk hero and legend of public
    Dance although how crazy is that now as i was more noted
    before as dizzy fly uncomfortable in his skin when he walked
    around when young as four eyes nerd too last kid picked
    on sports teams verbally bullied like many other
    outcasts kids too.. who would have guessed i
    would stARt an all volunteer effort
    of as Dance Legend at
    age 53.. or sure
    not speaking ’till
    4 and named
    mumbles after
    that too NoW
    finishing a longest
    Long Form Poem in
    13.6 Months span now
    too at 1.81 Million words
    moving into 7.18.17 as no..
    i would not finish a milestone
    like that without an opportunity
    to include my FriEnd LaLa who
    provided so much Unconditional
    Loving encouragement when coming
    out of literal Hell in the Summer of 2013..
    as i remember it like now then like now again..
    this week then on a Beach of Navarre where i become
    one with Sugar White Sands Emerald Green Gulf swaying
    Sea Oats in Breeze as Waves of Ocean wHole God once more allone..
    Seagull Spiraling Around Sun Will and Free AgaIN wHOle More GroWinG
    the gift
    as child
    with
    God
    Free Again.. then
    you were and still
    are a great inspiration
    as muse to keep me then
    from going back to dARk..
    and by the time you left
    i would never go
    back to the
    dARk
    as i did
    need a friend for
    those six or so months
    that you unconditionally came
    then and gave to me as friendship
    trusted then.. you inspired the lesson
    of giving love blindly without seeing the
    face from hell on the other side.. so although
    i may or may have not seen your real face in my
    short time as your Facebook Friend.. it matters not
    as your heARt youR spiRiT yOur soUL iN Struggles sTiLL
    comes through Loud and Clear in your Words STiLL of PoeTry today..
    you helped change my life.. you helped me to become a real life flesh and
    blood legend.. you helped inspire me to start writing a Poem that may never be
    exceeded by anyone else again in human history.. you were A flicker then of my
    Flame that grew into a torch and then a bonfire of St. Elmo more.. You are Lala
    Rukh.. you
    WiLL alWays
    Be MaGic to
    me and i STiLL
    and WiLL AlWays
    Love you no matter
    what Happens next
    God Willing iN ME as WiLL
    of Grace and Strength oF Love..
    Thanks STiLL for BeinG A ParT of mY
    Life that helped Strike the match of me wHOle..
    the only way to pay that back is continuing Love that never ends
    and
    alWays
    BeGins AneW as FriEnd..:)

  5. Lala ❤❤
    I hope you’ve been well..
    Loved your post.
    I liked the difference between the two people.. in destroying their worlds and saving themselves and vice versa.

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