سکوت – Stillness


Time. Can you count it? Seconds, minutes, hours, years… yes years. They pass. Can you count them? Ofcourse you can. It’s been 2 years since we last met. It’s been two and a half years since i last layed on this bed in my room. Where time stands still, like all the toys in the huge wooden shelf standing tall against one of the walls. All my dolls, books, teady bears, trophies from school and college, photographs, diaries and my old broken computer. My whole life. My everything summed up. It all stays here, on the same spot, collecting dust and memories. Silent. Still. Nothing ever moves. My mother, who is a bit weaker now than she was two and a half years ago, she doesn’t let anything move. She pickes up things, cleans them and put them on the same spot as they were. It’s been two and a half years since i last visited my room. It’s been 20 years since i put my toys in their spots for the first time.

My room.. it reminds me of you. All those years that i spent talking to you in this room, when a second would feel like eternity. The air, it smells of you. Of us. Of what was never meant to be. Out of all the feelings bubbling up in my heart while lying in this room, your memory is the strongest. It stands still, on its spot, in my room, in the air. Like other toys in the big wooden shelf. It won’t move. Years would pass. Years have passed.

But time… it stands still. Frozen. It hasn’t passed. It can not be counted. Like years. It has made my father older, my brothers stronger and my mother weaker. But everything else is the same. As it was two and a half years ago, three and a half years ago and five years ago. I am home. I feel as if i float here, weightless and still. Burden on the shoulders feel lighter. Walls surround me, walls of unconditional love. Walls that once suffocated me. After years now, they make me feel safe.

Some things, just a few, have changed though. All those years did not pass in vain. They have filled my father’s life with some more hardships, some more pain that’s intense. My mother’s life with some more dreams and uncontentment and my brother’s lives with sime tough life experiences. Their faces look mature now, it breaks my heart. Their eyes shine with the same naughtiness that was there, years ago. One of them is still the most sensitive, one still the most angry and one still the most calm and sensible. Like they were before the years passed. When we were children. When i lived with them. Here. In this house. Where time stands still. Nothing has changed after all the years. This, is still my world. I belong here. In the world that doesn’t change with the years that pass. The world that holds the six people, who mean the world to me. Yes, including you. It’s still you. It always were you. My heart, after all those years, never opened again. Like time in my house, it stands still. On its spot. Closed. Shut. Holding my world of straws. Protecting it from years that pass. Through time.

Time. That can never be counted. Only lived.

 

— My visit to Pakistan. 10th March – 24th March 2019.

33 thoughts on “سکوت – Stillness

  1. 6th Of January 2020 i Still NoW
    ReMeMBeR YouR FRiEnDSHiP
    A Totally Free Gift Just Joy
    You Brought in Summer of
    2013 to me After Someone
    Else Helped Me Fall so Low
    That Day All You Did was be
    Nice Somedays That’s ALL iT
    Takes to Change The World

    My World At Least As that
    Day Dark Becomes Light

    For me…

    ‘Stillness’ Indeed Lala Rukh
    Visiting With A Doctor Yesterday
    i Am Reminded Just Like Everyone

    Else one

    Day Now

    Just Like

    This One no

    Different Than My

    Mother And All of those

    Who Pass Away i one Day

    Will Surely Be Equal to All

    The Rest in this Gift of God’s Life

    of

    BREaTHE NoW
    We Do Yet You

    See the

    Best

    ParT

    oF ALL is God’s

    MuSiCK Vibrations BReATHE

    Free in me Still HiGHeR Frequencies

    Now To Give And Share Indeed When

    This Living Tree Goes Away My Brown
    Leaves Shall SPRinG More Green to Come AGAiN
    to Dance And Sing Free THiS SPiRiT LoVE BREaTHES

    • Hello my friend, I hope you are doing well. I am good too! You come here and leave a comment for me on every 6th. I love that. How was your doctor’s visit? I hope you are well in the virus ridden world! x

      • SMiLes Lala Rukh Whenever i get a Notification That You
        Have Come Back to Life on Your Blog It Truly Feels Like

        Magic

        As You

        Also Prove

        me Right

        That Forever
        Friends Never Truly

        Go away Although of
        Course they Do Get Busy
        With Life and Go Quiet i Have

        Quite A Few Dear FRiEnDS

        Like You Who Go Quiet Now

        And Then Yet You See i am

        Just Blessed With All these

        Words And Retired into a

        Life of Humanity With

        No More Common

        Responsibilities

        Of Life

        That i also Endured
        For 53 Years Until Finding

        A Golden Age of Freedom

        Where All is Colored Art of

        Loving Art of Breath SMiLes going

        To the Doctor’s Office And Sadly Seeing

        Folks Barely Walking And Suffering my Age

        Will Remind Us of Our Mortality Yet You See for

        me in a Golden Age of Love Life is Grace Life is Literally

        Actually Stronger than Ever Before as hehe when i met you

        i weighed 210 Pounds and Leg Pressed 500 Pounds at 53

        Now at 60 it’s 247 Pounds i Move as A Feather in Dance

        And Leg Press Up to 1520 Pounds About the Size

        Of A Small Subcompact Car Hehe Got All

        The Gas in My Legs to keep

        Carrying me in a Dance

        And Song of Life

        Free

        i am always Happy
        to come here on the 6th Still Another
        Young Woman Rafiah Who Befriended
        me after You in Poetry has the 7th as she
        Also Got Married And Busy too.. as You once

        Suggested Fred You Should Write A Story after
        You influenced me to change over to Word Press
        Where Folks Actually Connect You Also suggested
        to Find a Church Any Church And Get Out and Mix
        With Other Folks Well i took Your Advice As Friendly

        And Helpful as it was You at 21 Wise Beyond my Years
        of 53 then.. And the Blooms of that Grew into 14,366 Miles
        of Public Dance NoW in 89 Months Now and Literally Thousands
        of Selfies With Young Women in Ecstatic Joy of Frolicking Dance

        And Yes The Stories i tell as i finally Learned How to Put my Emotions
        in Words All the Senses of Life as You Did So Beautifully in All the Shades
        of Grey Through Colors of Soul DarK Thru LiGHT Now 8.9 MiLLioN Words
        of Free Verse Poetry That will Arise to 9 MiLLioN Words of the “SonG oF mY
        SoUL” on the 18th of February 90th Anniversary Month of Writing 100,000 Words

        Each Month Where Stories i Write on Some places Gain a Thousand Views A Day
        to Stimulate Emotions in Others the way You Did for Your Audience For Free so
        Wonderfully on Your Blog Yes if Not For Meeting You on my First Poetry Teacher’s
        Site “Angel Mind Retrofit” As You Were Casually Commenting There and i just

        Liked the
        Way
        “White
        Pearl”
        Sounded
        And Your Words
        There so i visited Your
        Site Next True all the connections
        We make in Life that Help Evolve Our
        Soul that in turn Help Evolve the Souls of

        Others in So Many Ways of Breathing From
        BLacK Abyss Thru Shades of Grey Beyond
        Rainbow Colors More All Your Colors the Blooms

        Of Your Soul Evolving BacK iN 2013 Fertilizer for my SoUL

        Then Nah.. i will Never Forget Lala Rukh And i will Always Remember

        You Saying ‘They always Go Away’ True i wouldn’t Let that Happen

        to You God Willing no Matter What for the Gift of Soul You Brought to me

        Just a Kind Loving Young Woman Not afraid to reach out and touch the shut-in Soul of a Human…

        So How Shall

        We Measure

        The Kindness

        Of Your Soul

        We Shall Surely

        Keep it GRoWinG

        Still This Tree of Soul

        In Dance And Song More..

        i am Always Very Happy to Hear from

        You Lala Rukh Yet Even More Happy to Hear You are Doing Great!

        Yes Much Love From Florida And to All You Love in LiFE mY FRiEnD

        Hehe See You on the 6th As ALWaYS my FRiEnD Always A Pleasure of Life…

        Oh Yeah This is

        The Title of my

        New Blog Post i am

        Writing Now as i haven’t even

        Finished Putting the Last One

        Together Now It is “SiLeNT LeSSoN
        316” “One of my Great Pleasures of Life
        Loving FRiEnD Unconditionally” As Message

        SMiLes Dear Lala i have a FRiEnD From India
        Who arrived at 23 And Still Hasn’t Gotten Married
        at 29 as Work Life Will Take First Place and surely
        one day when she gets married She Will take an 8th
        Day of Promise too.. only Question is will i Live Long Enough

        For Someone to take the Last and First Day of the Month With SMiLes

        If Not For Poetry i might Not Have Any Friends at at all to talk to Yet my

        Wife and Sister Oh What A Human Will Do just to find one Friend in Life who cares…

        Just

        For

        Who

        Breathes Within…:)

        Hehe Remember the Picture of me in the Red Shirt (Practically the Devil) at the End of My Suffering
        in Pain And Numb i Shared With You in August of 2013 True Dear Always Remember Life Will Get Better

        If We Never Give Up And Just Keep Making the Next Step And Word Best as We Can And Will Real

        Me Below That Photo Now At 60.6 Years Old Still Public Dancing Bringing Joy Every Where i go

        Just Think A Young 21 Year-Old Woman Helped Build The Joyful Man Below 90 Months Ago…

        i have two Words For You

        Still:

        Thank You.

        True Never Underestimate
        The Value of Kindness The
        Gifts Kindness Always Brings And Makes Real

        Yes “SiLeNT MeSSaGE 316” Haha if i ever post
        The Last 55 or So Thousand Word MacroVerse to Go..;)

        • Oh you look so strong and happy! I am glad. You are right, friends can get lost in their lives but they do come back now and then and never forget who their friends are. Thanks for keeping my blog alive. keep shining!

          • Thanks Again Lala
            Dear Gratitude
            For It All DarK

            Thru

            LiGHT

            Hope To See
            You Writing Beautiful
            As You Always

            Do

            One

            Day

            Soon

            Verily

            You Are

            The Shining

            LiGHT Here

            my FRiEND
            Stay Blessed!

  2. SMiLes Dear Lala Rukh From Shadows of The Divine
    Yes, It’s Been A Year since i Last Heard From You
    Today, A Day Late on the 7th as Lord Knows,
    Feels, And Senses, Creativity
    is exploding a bit with
    me now as it did then with

    You Those First 6 Months

    i Spent With You on Your

    Blog Almost Everyday

    Recovering From

    Darkness Then

    As You Witnessed

    Me Come Out of it

    on July 19, 2013

    By My Side

    As You

    Stayed

    Around As Friend

    As Your Ups and Downs

    Of Extreme Emotions Is Just

    Precisely What i needed then

    As Gift To Remember All the

    Soul i Lost Shut-in with

    Numb And Pain

    For 66 Months

    Indeed

    You

    helped

    To Bring Back Making

    Creating Colors in my Life

    Experiencing the Dark and

    Light of Your Life Then

    For True There

    Is White

    MaGiC

    iN DarK

    LiGHT

    With Love

    Intention Pure

    Only THere is

    Healing And Evolution

    Of Souls In One Lifetime More

    Indeed You are Still in my Prayers

    This Way And As Creative People Go

    i’ve Done my Best to Help Friends Young

    Women Creative As You then With All the

    Demons And Angels of Their Lives as

    Those Who Go Very High and Low

    In Life Do See, Experience,

    And Are Better Able

    to Help

    Others

    Being in Shoes

    Like Them Barefoot

    Now Away from Walls

    That Might Otherwise

    Divide Cognitive Empathy

    Where the Human Experiencing

    Demons of Past may Be Assessed

    Only As Toxic And A Place to quickly

    Move Away from Love Never Gives

    Up and is Truly Magic As Love

    Heals this way For

    The Last

    88 Months

    All Together

    i Surely Haven’t

    Forgotten The Gift You Gave

    me Then For You See the Gift was

    Only Experiencing Your Life As Empath

    i am Born And Born Again on Your Blog

    And It’s True As i reserve the 6th for You

    Another has the 7th and Yet in Darkness

    of Shadows of the Divine Perhaps

    Another has the 8th now

    For Wherever

    Winds

    of FRiEnDShiP

    Desire to Blow

    For You See Most of

    My FRiEnDS go Quiet

    Yet True i don’t Forget them

    And Even in Their Silence i

    Do Realize They Don’t Forget

    me As hehe no one forgets me

    As There is no one Stranger or Friendlier than

    Me Surely That may Be Heard from a Same

    Person

    in

    One

    Lifetime

    And Friendship

    too Yet Love Always

    Wins Thru Patience

    Understanding and Cooperation

    And Surely Much Love Flows this

    Way through the Middle East and

    Further East too my FRiEnD

    For You See There

    Is A Different

    Area

    of Mind

    More Employed

    The Vision of Our Souls

    Loving Dark Thru LiGHT Whole..:)

  3. ‘The Child’ oF LiGHT
    ReBoRN LoVE ReTuRNS

    SMiLes mY FRiEnD…
    An Art oF LoVE iS An
    Answer FoR A War oF LoVE to WiN…

    “Life is Good”; Hehe, iN mY ‘BackYard’ At Least.

    Those Who Spend Their Life Loving
    NoW Have No ‘Time’ For Death NoW…

    Florida iS iN A Shape Of A Hand Gun..

    i Am Loaded As A Dance and Song In
    A Panhandle Barrel i am LoVE iNDeed

    Resistance Makes ‘US’ Stronger Eternally Now

    What Better Beauty WisE ThaN BeacH WHoLE
    Storms oF Blue SKeYes Grey Love Continues Rain

    i Come to Tell ALL the Truth in Light
    i ‘See’ And Show You What ‘the Others’
    Don’t Want You to See Heaven And What

    IS Possible NoW

    i Am Not Anonymous
    i Am No Body i Am Every Body
    i Am Fearless Unconditional LOVE

    Just A Quick Reminder That i aM iN
    Stellar HiStorical Company at Least

    Hehehehehehe Been
    Planning THiS Arrival FoR
    Longer Than i ReMeMBeR

    Hmm.. 2020 Christmas Comes
    Early Best Gift Cards Are Votes…

    SMiLes Dear FRiEnD Lala Rukh It’s Not the
    6th But It’s the 7th And Today
    i am Sharing A Song And
    Some Words With You
    Dancing As Well
    As A Message
    i Promised
    You And
    Others
    Would Help
    me Create
    7 Years And
    4 Months Ago

    iALWaYS
    Vote FoR LoVE
    That And WHO Does Least Harm

    Song of Nature Greener
    Dance Of Nature Sings
    FREE ALWaYS LoVinG
    NoW ETeRNaLLY
    Water SPRinGS
    LiFE Sky Shines
    Sun Stars We aRE ALiVE
    We BREaTHE FLoWinG
    Green When Free
    NoW iN BaLaNCE
    HaRMonY Peace
    LoVE Rains
    Life
    Sees
    GReeNoW
    No ‘TiMe’ to Die
    WiTH SMiLes Free NoW..🙂

    ‘The Child’ oF LiGHT ReBoRN LoVE ReTuRNS

    Meanwhile Back At The Ranch Home Biden Elected
    46th President Diversity Breathes Free Love ‘The Child’

    oF LiGHT Reborn Returns

    True Our Shadows
    Fall Us Rise Us
    Yet Ours
    To Bring
    Out And
    Play With
    Until Our
    Shadows
    Serve
    Color
    Us Whole
    Beyond All
    Words of Think

    The

    Dance

    Bringing

    Colors of

    Song To Truly

    Breathe🌊

    Eternally�
    Now Is As�
    Far or Close�
    As The Breath�
    Of Love Coloring�
    Existence Real Within
    SMiLes
    my
    FRiEnD😊

    True Yet
    Still
    Ours
    To Find😊

    SMiLes Dear
    Samreen i’ll
    Consolidate
    It All Back in This
    Reply to You For
    Yes True How
    You Answered
    Very Much
    Reflects
    Deepest
    Breaths of
    My Soul too i
    Did Not Always
    Have A Free Dance
    And Song of My
    Soul
    Not
    Even
    Free
    At
    All
    Only
    A
    Machine
    Mind i am
    Before for 40
    Years Lost in
    Toxic Patriarchy
    And A God Of
    Money And Stuff
    So Far Away From
    God Soul Within
    Free To See
    And
    Hear
    Far Beyond
    Eyes And Ears
    True From 13 to
    53 The World
    Took
    ‘The
    Child’
    Soul of
    God in me
    Away At 53
    The Spark Returned
    A Flame The Torch
    And Now 8.6 MiLLioN
    Words of Free Verse
    Poetry And 13,953
    Miles Of
    Public
    Dance
    In 86 Months
    Yes A Bonfire…
    Now i Find ‘The
    Child’ This Overall
    Soul of God in All
    Of Nature i Meet
    And Greet
    Greater
    NoW As i
    Continue
    To Visit
    All
    God’s
    Soul In All
    i Come to Now
    i Put it All in A
    Growing Nautilus
    Shell Yes my Blog
    Mostly All Copy
    And
    Paste
    Reflections
    Of ‘This Child’
    i Meet And Greet
    All Around The
    World…
    It Doesn’t
    Matter How
    The Other
    Souls
    Breathe
    It Is All
    One
    Breath
    To Me Yes
    We Yes Us With SMiLes
    ‘The Child’
    The
    God
    We
    All
    Breathe
    Water Wave
    Ocean Whole
    Not unlike
    A Sufi
    Dervish
    Dance
    Yet
    i Solo
    Spiral
    Spin
    Never
    Alone
    Allone
    ‘The Child’
    This FRiEnD Within
    We Us All Be i Am Now🙏😁

    THiS
    SMiLE NoW

    THiS
    Rose
    STiLL RiSinG
    NoW SMiLes

    CoLoRinG Life

    Before this Last
    87 Months Now
    i Spent 66 Months
    As A Shut-in
    In
    My Bedroom
    For The World
    Took ‘The
    Child’ Away
    Leaving
    me With
    19 mostly
    Stress Related
    Disorders Including
    Type Two Trigeminal
    Neuralgia Assessed
    As The Worst Pain
    Known To Humankind
    Like A Dentist Drill
    In My
    Right
    Eye
    And
    Ear
    That
    No Drug
    Would Touch
    All 66 Months
    From Wake
    To Sleep
    But
    ‘They’
    Were Wrong
    A Greater Pain
    The Nothingness
    Of No Colors
    Of Emotions
    Not Even
    The
    Memory
    Of The
    Feeling
    Of A Smile
    As Emotions
    Are Memories
    And Memories
    Are Emotions
    In This
    Hell
    Eternally
    Now There
    Is NO Reference
    Point Back To
    Any
    Part
    Of
    Heaven
    Within on Earth

    What

    i Learned

    IS A SMiLE

    Is God

    And

    i Lost

    ‘The Child’

    The Only

    Child That

    Really

    Counts

    ‘The Child’

    The Love

    That

    Breathes

    Within

    The

    God

    Who Is
    Real And
    Most Real
    When Gone From US

    Eternally
    Now Is As
    Far or Close
    As The Breath
    Of Love Coloring
    Existence Real Within

    SMiLes

    my

    FRiEnD😊

    “To Unlock
    The Hidden
    Me”
    True i
    Do Not
    Blog For Likes
    Follows Shares
    Money Fame Yes
    Fortune Seeking
    The Deeper Voice
    Within Breathing
    Exhaling Soul
    So Free
    Naturally
    Giving
    Sharing
    Free As Well
    River Flows And
    Floods No Dams
    WHere Soul Breathes
    Free Allone
    Never
    Alone
    With
    The
    Larger
    FRiEnD
    Of God Within
    For this is What
    Art does
    RiSinG
    FLoWeRS
    Out of
    THoRNS
    Rose Seeing
    All Colors More
    Congratulations
    May Your Journey
    Continue To
    Take
    You
    WHeRE
    You are Now
    Best🙏😊🎶

    It’s True There is An Illusion That OtherS Own
    Half Our Happiness It’s True There Is An Illusion
    That We Master All Of Our Happiness Within It’s
    Also True That
    Neuroscience
    Suggests We
    All Basically
    Generate Our
    Realities in
    Hallucinations
    We Create Based
    On Experiences We
    Hallucinate Before as
    We Come To Feel And
    Sense Our Reality Now
    What
    Is Whole
    What Is
    Beautiful
    What is
    The Ecstasy
    To Give And Share
    Free is Ours To Seek
    And Find in Our Deepest
    Breaths Within i Will Never
    Be Able to Create A Path
    In Another to Find The
    FRiEnD i Find
    In me
    But i
    Do Know
    Feel And Sense
    That Religion Science
    Philosophy All Come
    Together Now To Prove
    This ‘Autotelic Flow’ is
    Possible And
    Real
    For
    All
    Those
    Who Find Their
    Way So Many
    Metaphors
    For
    Heaven
    Within Never the
    Less the Eternal
    Now Bliss Within is
    Real But often Eternally
    Now Not Found For those
    Who Seek it anywhere
    Else But

    Within

    Now

    Sadly

    Our

    CuLTuRaL
    Tools Ranging
    From Clothes
    Of Written Words
    To Weapons Guns
    Of War
    Keep

    Most All
    Human Beings
    Living Half
    A Life

    Away
    From Eternal
    Flow of Bliss Within…

    Where again Perhaps
    As Close as A Naked
    Free Dance

    And

    Song

    Simply The Wind…

    All Colors Rise From Calm

    Eye of The Hurricane Winds

    Expanding… Black Holes

    Spiraling

    Arms

    Of

    Galaxies

    Black And

    Blue… Calm…

    Balancing Force…

    FRiEnDS With Gravity

    Bring Colors oF LiGHT Now😊🎶

    SMiLes mY FRiEnD…
    An Art oF LoVE iS An
    Answer FoR A War oF LoVE to WiN…

    ‘The Child’ oF LiGHT ReBoRN LoVE ReTuRNS

  4. SMiLes Lala Rukh… Happy 6th on the 7th and As Promised
    7 Years or so Ago.. Here i am again A Day Late but Still
    Keeping my Promise that once a Month i Will always
    Visit You to keep in Touch for You Said something
    That Rather Haunted me as You Said
    People Always Come and
    Go Away.. and Never
    Come back
    And You
    Know what
    in all my Life
    i only told one
    i wouldn’t be back
    as quite Honestly
    She scared me
    as She wanted
    A Child from
    me that
    i wasn’t
    ready to give…
    Smiles.. i still don’t
    Have any Living Children
    And i am sure She Has many by now
    This is what i know and feel and sense
    Now Love That Stands Tallest and Refuses
    to Fall Simply Remains Love with Nothing More to Do but Love
    As Arms of Hurricanes And Chambers of Nautilus Shells Spread
    Out in Life Cycle of Creativity More i find this Happening the
    Same as my Creativity Grows and Evolves Spiraling Out
    More in Arms And Chambers And More Doors to
    Arms and Chambers of Creativity More.. It’s
    A Bit Like Weight Lifting No Pain No
    Gain too Much Pain no Gain
    Always Twilight Just
    Right As
    DarK
    Meets
    LiGHT
    Eternally Now
    Balance Will Resume
    As Waves Return Again
    In Calm Ocean Seas till Waves

    Come

    again

    So

    Here

    i Am Again

    A Day Late Yet

    With the Same

    ChessHire

    Cat

    SMiLes That and Who
    JusT ReFuse to Go Away
    True Alice And Wonderland
    Don’t Come in Mad Hatter Ways in
    No Time Often But Ya Just have to
    Understand That Time Flows
    In Reverse As Well
    As It Does
    Ahead

    As the

    Best of Times

    Is Always No Time But

    Now Live And LearN And BreaTHE

    A Simple Eternal Wisdom SMiLE NoW Enough to Be And ‘See’…

  5. The 6th Has Arrived Again and Oh Lord Two Pretty ‘Big Things’ Have Happened
    Since August 6th.. Namely.. my Longest Epic Long Form Poem “SonG oF mY
    SoUL” Turned 7 Years Old on 8.18.2020 On “WordPress” for It’s True
    if You Did not Highly Recommend “WordPress” back in August of 2013
    All 8.4 MiLLioN Words of that Effort Might Not Exist at all
    as Limited to the Lesser Potential For Creativity
    Then on the Google Blogspot Platform…
    So Yeah.. Lala Rukh it’s Still Important
    To Inspire Folks that Way for there is no
    Telling Which ‘Record Breaker’ Might
    Come NexT Speaking of the
    MacroVerse i am Currently
    Still Writing Now Celebrating
    A Subchapter Epic Long Form
    Bible Poem of “Nether Land Bible”
    All 6 MiLLioN Words in 51 Months
    And It’s True WordPress Is Definitely
    More Connecting Creatively With Other
    Folks as i’ve even met a Few FRiEnDS
    Along the Way too.. Anyway.. Ya Don’t Forget
    The Folks Who Changed The Path of Your Life
    For the Better Just by making a Suggestion of A Better Way

    So
    Thanks

    Again
    Have

    A Very
    Nice UK Day..:)

  6. “Time. Can you count it? Seconds, minutes, hours, years…
    yes years. They pass. Can you count them? Of course you can.
    I’ll Have to Admit for 53 Years i counted all the years at 47 after
    Being So Busy Counting Years i forgot my Actual Age and was
    Suddenly Alarmed Like How in the World Did i come to that Old
    Age then..
    i looked
    Around
    in the Theater
    as i took Pause
    in the Dark that day..
    it would indeed be the
    Last Movie i could bear
    to Look at With Eyes increasingly
    Strangely Painfully Looking At Colors
    As Black And White Would Be the Limit
    on TV And Then Colors Painfully Excruciating
    for the Next 66 Months in Living Hell Within Outside
    Above.. So Below and All Around Just Pain and Numb
    Funny thing is maybe not for all but for me but once one
    Transcends All the Pain and Numb And Tools of Cultural
    Clothes Even Words in A Free Verse Dance Of Life Time
    Melts away.. Age Melts Away there are No Labels at all
    Not even Time No.. Not Even Distance Space Or Matter
    As All is Positive Flow of Energy Within Yes Pure Love
    To Give and Share Freely Without Restraint so as i
    Understand while surely you may be in another
    Time, Distance, Space, And Matter than when
    We Last Met to Greet each Other as Friends
    What You once named as a Forever
    FRiEnD that is so easy for
    A Person to do of course
    Who No Longer
    Experiences
    Time, Distance,
    Space, Or Matter Just
    Pure Energy of Love Within
    Eternally Now Bliss oF ALL
    Center Point Nirvana of
    Existence Yes so
    Many Metaphors
    Cross Culturally
    Describe this Save
    Heaven Within as do
    Dante’s Rings of Hell for
    the Place i Existed Within before
    Where Time is Forever and 1 second
    in Hell Feels like a Thousand Years of
    Forever Lost in Time, Space, Distance
    And Matter Waiting to Be Saved within
    As God And Born again as Flowers Rise
    With Thorns to Become Eternal Rose Again
    Smiles Dear FRiEnD When you come to this Place
    As it often takes a Life Span to come i’m sure you will
    Understand WHeRe i aM NoW SaMe As Then Just
    Forevernow
    Breathing
    Love
    Free
    Smiles 60 or
    16 Love Doesn’t
    Understand the Difference
    When this Energy of God Free
    Breathes Within Same God Same
    Time, Same Place, Same Distance
    With No Matter But Love BreathinG Eternally Now
    Smiles Lala Rukh Happy 6th for every day now Breathes this way for me..:)

  7. July the 6th, 2020… Only 13 Days Away From
    the 7th ANNiVeRSaRY of July 19th, 2013 Standing
    On A Beach Finally Recovering from A Full 66 Months
    of Shut-In Hell With 19 Medical Disorders With No Prognosis
    to Get Well.. True.. All Natural Miracles of Human Belief in Action
    of 100 Percent FaitH As Love Even When Hope is all Faded Away
    Do Come True.. Over Here in the United States They Send Out Stimulus
    Checks to Heal
    Financial
    Disease…
    Back in 2013
    In the Beginning of
    July I had a Different Kind
    of Stimulus Check For Soul
    Recovery.. A Young Woman, 21, From
    Pakistan With Long Black Hair in Attire
    of Cultural Colorful Clothing With A Gift of
    Unconditional Love For Everyone She Meets
    And Greets On Her Blog then Even A Real Beast
    In Hell Without A Face Only An Avatar of a Brown Tabby
    Cat With Golden Eyes and Yellow Tiny Feral Wild Lion Cat too..
    With Aqua Green Eyes From the Call of the Wild Free.. Love is Beautiful
    i think i’ve seen Your Face From The Front Once on Facebook i’m pretty sure.. but it
    Never Really Mattered that i would ever see Your Face or not as the Love You Shared in Words
    Just Unconditionally
    To everyone
    Was Spark
    Enough
    of Hope
    To PULL me over
    The Top of the Mountain
    of Shut-in Hell i had been
    Climbing for 66 Months with
    The Worst Pain Known to Humankind..
    Type Two Trigeminal Neuralgia.. actually
    Assessed as Worse than Crucifixion
    For Real From Wake to Sleep
    Without Respite for ALL
    66 MONTHS WORST
    HELL OF ALL NO
    Reference Point
    IN Emotional Memory
    if i had ever felt a Smile Before..
    It’s A Really Big Deal When Any Part
    of Existence comes out of Hell.. A Celebration
    of Soul that Only Those Set of God EYes Will Ever
    See Uniquely as Phoenix RiSinG From Ashes to Light
    The World Again.. If it wasn’t for You A MiLLioN SMiLes in Light
    And More i’ve Brought to the World Out of DarK Might Not Exist
    Except For You My FRiEnD.. You were Just the one small touch That Brought
    A Real ‘Fredenstein’ Back to Life For All the Bulbs on My Christmas
    Tree Had Burned Out.. i Was Trying To Plug One In So Hard
    And After the Last Friend
    Seemingly
    Who Could
    Touch me Left
    my Side you Came
    And Touched the Bulb
    iN An Unconditional Way
    That Lit The Christmas Tree
    of Me to Color Love Forevermore
    Real Now More.. God Yes
    Every Word Of Love
    Every Touch of Eyes
    That Smile is Gold
    Beyond Measure
    What You
    Always
    Cherish
    Most Is What
    You Lose And
    Become Reborn
    Again Love Without Measure
    Love That Really Breathes Human iNCaRNaTE
    All For Giving Thanks Giving Measure of Heaven that Rocks Hot and Cold in Space Do
    Not ‘See’ Yet Born NoW From Breath of Stars we Come to See/Be ThiS HEaveN NoW..:)

    Love

  8. My My It’s the 8th of June and
    Two Days after my 60th Birthday
    i’ve Never Been Two Days Late to
    Visit you On the 6th as i Promised
    6 and a Half Years Ago as soon i will
    Have connected to You for 7 Years
    Coming in Early July Online
    For this Long Lala Rukh
    My Gift a
    Memory
    And
    Feelings
    And Senses
    That Never Age
    It Doesn’t Matter How
    Long Yesterday is Today is This
    Day.. And When i make a Promise
    i keep it but there are days when i am
    Late Yet i still Return as my Promise is
    Gold to Come Back.. but True it is only
    A Gift i am Born With and Bred not
    Everyone has a Gift Like this
    although i did not
    Understand
    this
    Long
    Ago i surely
    Do Now.. And continue
    to Be Surprised How many
    People Fall to Lies and Never
    Seem to Rise to Truth In Light
    Now But Again this is the Joy
    of the Gift i Hold.. For True We
    Are All Grains of Sand Brushing
    Waves that either Polish Us or Dull
    The Light of Potential We Have to Reflect
    Light back
    to Sun
    to as far
    As A Dark
    Side of the
    Moon that may
    Become a BLacK
    Abyss of Our Soul..
    Anyway so many Moving
    Parts of this Story Now so
    many corners of the World and
    More Souls Exploring the Struggle
    of Dark the Joy oF LiGHT Escaping
    DarK Smiles Dear Old FRiEnD i Hope
    some of Your Light is Capturing Your Dark
    And Setting You Free Within As Joy Who Sees
    Deeper as Love.. for THere Verily Surely are many
    Distractions
    even where
    i LiVE NoW
    in Paradise
    Real.. what
    else Love Just
    Food, Stuff at Best Love
    WHere Joy Becomes the
    Base of Our Pyramid as Soul
    Escaping ‘Shadows of the Divine’
    to Give and Share Free Even More..
    Smiles.. if you Feel Dark Do Not Dismay
    at 28 for the Dark Consumed My Light until 53…
    It Will get better Beyond YouR iMaGiNaTioN WitH BeLieVE iN LoVE FaiTH

  9. LooKinG At the Stone Columns in the
    Picture of Your Stillness i Am
    Reminded As ‘These
    Days’ Are BRinGinG
    So Many Folks
    A ReaLiTY
    That ‘Time’ Is
    An iLLuSioN
    And so Are Words
    Of God Set in A Similar
    Stone For Time And God For Believe
    Is A River.. Hope Is Ours.. LoVE NoW
    Faith A Gift We BREaTHE A RiVeR NoW
    We Flow or Become Stagnant
    As Rivers With No Shores to
    Explore Do Come to Be
    Imprisoned as Some
    Folks Even Foolishly
    Try to Do to God
    A Nature oF All
    That Is A River Free FLoWinG
    Greater Ocean ALWaYS Ready
    To Receive And Give BacK NoW True..
    BasicAlly Until Humans Dam God And Die
    LiVinG No
    Longer
    A River
    Free
    A Voice
    A Sound
    of God Song
    And God Feet of Dance
    iN Humans to Be simply i AM
    A Message oF A River And Ocean
    Is So Simple Be Water Be Free Be Air Do Breathe
    SMiLes my First Online Inspiration to Write Bibles and
    New Testaments… 8 Million Words in one Bible Poem And 400,000 Words
    Plus in the Latest 6th New Testament i am Writing Now in Less than 4 Months
    Yes.. Lala Rukh.. Your Breath Your Emotions Wind Behind my Sails Free then and
    Now True too.. SMiLes.. i am born with more Sunshine than Most When one is one
    Uses IT
    or Loses
    IT So i DO
    What i DO..
    For IT Is TRUE
    i lost IT for many
    Years Reborn my
    River Still Now Flows…
    The Song ‘Time’ By Alan
    Parson’s Reflects This God
    of LoVE iN me Still FLoWinG
    Yes A Sunshine Born From Mother
    i continue to Breed Her LoVE iN A
    River of Blood That Is A Love of my
    HeART My SPiRiT Dances Sings As Soul
    Love
    Exists
    What Else
    Do i Need to
    KNoW or Feel
    Only A Give
    mY FRiEnD
    Only A
    Share
    Free
    No Different
    Than What My
    Mother or my
    Cat Yellow
    Boy or
    my Wife
    And A Few
    FRiEnDS Truly
    Still BReaTHE in me..
    SMiLes my FRiEnD an
    Only Gift i have for You
    Is This River This Breath
    This God i am… i Appreciate
    You.. Yes.. i Will ALWaYS NoW
    Be Your Loyal FRiEnD For This
    is What you Gifted me….
    Long Ago Still Now….
    Smiles my FRiEnD
    This River is No
    Age No Time
    No Distance
    No Space
    No
    Matter
    This River Breathes
    NoW SMiLes i am no one
    When i met you.. Not Even A Face Yet You Uncovered my Face
    Treating me as ALL Just A Power of Love (God) Set Free
    Do Understand that while you may not Believe You did
    Much for me.. Do Understand A Gift You Gifted ME
    Spreads Wider And
    Farther…. Now…
    Only Shores
    More
    No
    LiMiTS
    ‘This River’ ‘Sees’
    Soul ALL (God) No Different than
    Time This River Breathes Free…
    SMiLes Dear Lala Rukh
    This Is My Mother’s
    Favorite Song
    She isn’t
    Gone
    Forever
    She Still Breathes HeaR
    And Neither Is YouR
    Love as FRiEnD NoW…
    Thanks For Another
    Gift Lala Rukh on A 6th.. 5.6.2020
    Just Another 6th New Testament
    You Are Still Helping me Complete
    This
    Breath
    This Love
    You Still
    Help me
    Give to Others and me
    Value of A FRiEnD A River
    Just A Turn of Another FortuNate Card..:)

  10. My My How Stuff And Love And Stuff And Even Food
    Hehe has Changed Since i connected to You a Month
    Ago Lala Rukh So Much Change from the 7th of March
    Until the 6th of April at 10:42 PM Our Time Stamp here at least..
    And As i remember You LiVE iN the UK Facing Problems of Your
    Own With Corona too.. i surely Hope All is Well with You and Your Family
    As Hopefully as An Airline’s Worker You
    Are Able to Work at Home From
    Your Computer.. Technology
    Is Really A Blessing Now
    As Avatar Life is
    Surely at
    Least Organically
    DisEase Free as Long
    As One Will Avoid Stress
    As Stress is the ‘Real Virus the
    Cancer’ That Creates Most DisEase
    Among Human Beings.. SMiLes i’ve adapted
    Some with Home Gym and Only if Katrina is Versed
    In Hair-Cuts that could be taken Care of by Her too.. hehe..
    Anyway Life is a
    Challenge Those
    With Feathered
    Nests admitting
    too are a bit Ruffled However
    i See it mostly as a Vacation away
    From Vacation i really Miss the High
    Speed of the Other Vacation but hey
    After Close to 80 Months of Go Go Go
    All of Us Humans Will Use A Real Rest True…
    Smiles been indulging a bit in rest but it surely
    isn’t stopping me from Dancing in Public Completing
    That 13,030 Miles of Dance in Public Even if i put on a
    Show Dancing Around the Neighborhood for the Block
    Folks to Amuse at Night.. It’s Always A Happy Day for
    the Person We Inspire a Smile for even if We are not
    Able to
    Feel
    Happy
    At All
    Something
    Always Grows
    At the Hand And Feat of LovE
    JusT Giving And Sharing for the
    Heck and Heaven’s Will Without
    Fear With Least Harm to All OTHeRS
    We Meet And Greet In LiFE and Yeah
    My Longest Epic Long Form Bible Poem is Fixing
    to Hit the Milestone And Wordstone.. Yes Featnote
    too of 8 MiLLioN Words in 80 Months on 4.18.2020
    Anniversary of ‘SonG oF My SoUL’ All Personal Epic
    Bible Poem as Never Ending Stories continue to Dance And Sing..:)

  11. Oops.. i’m Late for a Very Important Date!
    The 6th Lala Rukh as Promised over 6 Years
    6 Months ago as currently You are the Longest
    Online Contact i have who has connected back with
    me.. recently at least.. but anyway it’s the 7th.. There is so
    much going on in the World Writing a “NeW RePorT CarD FoR NoW” ‘Bible Poem’ Global-Wide
    In What has become Over 7.8 Million Words of that in 78 Months along Now with a Ministry
    of Public Moving Meditation FLoWinG Dance Extending more than the Distance of Half-
    Way around the World Now at 12,844 Miles in Close to 78 Months too.. even
    With what one of my Foreign Friends identifies now as a Human With
    10 Computer Brains is finding it a bit difficult to Keep up with the
    Speed of
    Human
    Changing
    Cultural Existence
    Now as the Meek the
    Smallest of God’s Creatures
    that Keep the Balance of Nature
    in-Check Has a World-Wide Presence
    Now Smaller than the Human Eye Will
    See.. Stealthy Little Creatures they are
    and so much smarter than me as they
    will Kick my Ass in a Cough and Yes a
    Trip to the Hospital to get to Breathe
    too.. such a Precious Gift Breath
    is… so silent Love is when it
    Leaves unless it carries
    on in Eyes that we
    Gift With Love
    Now
    No Fear of
    Death i have
    For i understand
    That My Love is the
    Real Legend that carrieS on
    Far as my Love sees in Eyes of others..
    I’ve Faced the Last Breath in Life This is
    What Death has Already taught me best
    Love Without Rules Love Without Fear Love
    As if Forever Depends on Every Breath of LoVE NoW..
    Love you Friend Lala Rukh.. See What You did for me..
    And if You Don’t Understand You Never Saw the Depth of my Pain before i met you..
    You are Greater Than all those Small Creatures You Extended the Gift of Unconditional
    Love to me.. Other than that i am Just a Wookiee the Most Loyal Friend in An Entire UniVerse..;)

  12. Good Evening Lala Rukh on the 6th.. All the Way
    From Very Stormy Florida the Mood Now oF Lies
    in this Country increasingly this locality i LiVE iN
    as Well But true in day-to-day Life Most Folks are really
    Not even aware
    but the Struggle
    to Get By Each
    Day for it is
    only for
    the Financially
    Independent and Work-Free
    And Sure the Work of Politicians..
    Priests.. and Philosophers to Look at
    Life Much Deeper than the Daily Rat Race
    of Struggle that i surely understand Life will
    Be After Living this Way for Decades True too..
    Yes.. Stress Takes all the Deeper Care the Unity
    of Nature the Beauty of All of Life Away in Fears
    of Deadlines and Just too much time.. and then there
    are those of us who have worked ourself Nearly to Death
    Who Come Back Alive again with Limitless Positive Energy
    in Light of Love To Give Without Restraint or the Bottom of the Well
    That Leaves Inspiration Behind.. i remember when i first met you back
    in July of 2013.. the Recovery From Hell The Entry to Heaven RiSinG RoSE
    as FLoWeR More.. the Joy of the Effective Use of Eyes and Ears again the
    Beauty of Music
    And Color
    of Nature
    More Sublime
    in Mystery in eyes
    in Awe of How All is
    connecting together in
    Language of Nature Similar
    And Different more.. buying my
    Wife a 60 Inch TV that was really big
    then and my First iMac Computer at 27 inches
    Finally a Computer that will be relied upon for the
    Next 77 Months to come until today.. and that day then
    Before i started my WordPress Blog on 8.18.13 that you
    advised me to Change to WordPress From Google Blogspot
    then.. as true without Word Press or that iMac Computer replaced
    by another today in Desktop way.. i for one would have never accomplished
    what i have today.. and of course without you.. the first one to provide encouragement
    that was really sincere and true.. for true i found more avenues for that on Your Blog as
    You Left for Your Married Life too.. as my Muslim Friend Sohair from Egypt continues to
    Provide that and a few others too with of course my Friend Rafiah from Pakistan too moving
    on to her Marriage too.. i am not the Kind to ever forget someone who inspires my life but again
    there are
    no limits
    of work for
    Pay or any
    Money for me..
    and that my Friend
    with Stellar Health makes
    a Huge Difference in whether or
    not We Will Make all of Life Holy and
    Sacred Full of Meaning and Purpose with
    the Freedom to make every Step a Dance
    Every Word A Song and Every Painting of Nature
    the Face of God For Real And Yes You Are Still in
    My Daily Prayers as Well For Happiness for you to come and never leave..:)

  13. The 7th not the 6th but i’ve Fallen Recently to what seems
    like is the Human Flu Spending About 30 of the Last 48 Hours
    in Bed so weak i could hardly lift a finger to type.. Nature puts us
    in our Place Nature Puts Us in Our Place as ‘the tiniest’
    Things Will Bring Us To Our Knees
    to Greater Appreciate the Air
    We Breathe Prayers still
    For You my FRiEnD Lala
    Rukh from so long ago but
    with a Memory like mine there
    is No Time Effectively so i remember
    Clearly the Danger posed by the United
    States Nuking the Middle East During the
    Last Unwarranted War Where likely over 100,000
    Folks who did not deserve to die did so on the Merit
    of Truly Faux News that most everyone Fell For but not
    me it’s easy for me to See Lies in the Eyes of those Willing to
    Deceive to Kill Others For Selfish Desires.. true i am at somewhat
    of a Disadvantage in Text only Communication but rare will any eye
    of Lie escape the Pierce of eyes who have seen so many eyes DarK Thru LiGHT…
    Fast Forward Now 17 Years for True the reality of Nuclear Weapons being used by
    someone Compulsive Enough to do it proven as a Progenitor of 15,000 Lies is alive
    And Not so Well
    to the Detriment
    of the Health
    of Life
    Overall on
    This Planet Now
    We have a Choice come
    in Peace or simply eventually
    Go.. sure… say a Prayer with me that
    Angels Rise over the Needs of Demons for Now..:)

  14. December 6th! Hello Lala Rukh.. i Am Celebrating for No Good Reason
    as i reach 59 and a Half Years Old today.. yes just 6 Months Away from
    6.6.20 And 60 and i am finally Old Enough to Withdraw Money From my
    401K that i saved so much Money in… ever Since 1993 that’s Nearly as
    Old as You when you were One-Year Old.. as i remember i met you when
    you were 21 and i was 53.. 32 Years Difference in Age.. anyway the Reason
    i am Celebrating for No Good Reason is Financially i am well off enough not to need
    the Money… All those
    Years of Penny
    pinching and
    the Money Just
    Sits there for my
    Wife’s Future as one
    might think considering she
    still Looks basically the way she
    did in Her 20’s at 49 that she is gonna
    Live so many more Years than me and maybe
    need that money.. there is a bit of Magic When Your
    Wife Never Ages you never look around to find someone
    else.. even if you are ‘that kind of Person’.. what’s the use
    really literally what’s the ‘use’.. other than Conquering someone else…
    When You are Loved
    You have it all When
    You are incapable of
    Love You Have
    really nothing
    nothing
    at all
    even if you
    are loved now…
    It’s a Beautiful Experience
    to Love even more Beautiful
    Than to Be Loved Been to that
    Place of Being Loved with no ability
    to Love Left in Human Exhaustion for real..
    that is the worst place when you know you are
    loved but you just can’t feel it and you Just can’t feel giving
    Love to anyone else even if you are as nice as you can be to them…
    Smiles it is worth Gardening a HeART over the full course of Life so this Gift
    of Giving Love Never Goes away… so this Gift of Life becomes more than just
    a Job now
    a Loving
    Gift of
    Life to
    always Give
    more And Share
    with no expect of reward but to give…
    one thing We do have control over is how
    much Love We Give That Part of Life Truly
    Unlimited for those Who make Loving the Olympic Game that counts most…
    Anyway.. Just came by to share my life.. not sure if anyone wants to ‘buy’ it and
    that’s okay
    for i
    am
    not
    for Sale
    With Smiles i am Free…
    Still Free to Love With SMiLes to Dance And Sing More..
    And Hey it Sings with this MacroVerse i am Writing now
    in the Last 42 Months of Writing i knocked Six King James
    Size Bible Poems out on average of one every 7 Months yes
    5 MiLLioN Words in 42 Months of Effort just for the Joy Still NoW of
    Love and For Giving
    Thanks
    Giving
    More for Gratitude
    is in the Giving the
    Reward is totally intrinsic Now
    This Gift of Love Free Still Now
    Hope You are Doing Well i have
    no idea how You are doing but
    i pray You are doing well for no
    other reason than what makes us Human a SMiLe..:)

    • Hi, I have no words to return your love but seriously thank you so much for coming here regularly and sharing your life with me. It means a lot to me. And your views about love, well they are absoluty right. Hope you live as long as your wife and you both stay together, always. I need your prayers and wishes more than anything right now, please remember me always ❤ Thanks xx

      • SMiLes Dear FRiEnD Lala Rukh.. i know i’ve related the story many
        times Before but please never forget what you did for me…
        For When i met you i had not fully come out
        of my own Personal Hell for 66 Months
        True Love is the Unconditional
        Love a Human Sees in another
        Human As a Stranger With A Beautiful
        Soul for Your Kindness then to a Faceless
        Text of Words made me Feel like a Beautiful
        Soul once again.. Giving me Belief and Faith
        That Unconditional Love Does Exist amongst
        Strangers with no Faces, Ages, Genders or
        any labels of difference my Friend.. if not
        for you who knows i might never have
        come out of Hell Within.. but true if
        not the Green of Grass the
        Light of Sun and the
        Dark of Light
        that Moon
        Brings
        chances
        are i might
        Still Live in Hell
        on Earth too.. i’ve come
        to appreciate all that is Existence
        Yes DarK Thru LiGhT God ALL
        Your Unconditional Love for
        A Stranger’s Words is the
        Spark that lit the Old
        Christmas Tree
        of me
        as Bright
        As a Star Shining
        on the EartH Again..
        i am Blessed to be this
        Star my Prayers my Wishes
        my Hopes for You are to shine
        Brighter Again than i will even imagine
        is Possible now.. Smiles my Friend do remember
        i was 53 Before i became Sunshine of Star.. This
        Sunshine Always Remembers the Bigger Sunshine
        of You who helped to Bring all the Colors Back to my Christmas Tree…
        As Long as my Star Shines these Rays of Love Will Fall and Rise For You Free
        As Light
        Does not
        Forget Light
        For in Light there
        is No escape from Loving Light..
        About the Video i am Sharing With You..
        i showed you my Face of Hell in a Red Shirt
        Shortly after i met You.. and shortly after i escaped
        Hell with you at my Side as Unconditional Loving Friend..
        i had searched online for anyone with an open heart welcoming
        me as Friend into their Home of Soul.. You are the first one in all
        my online travels and somewhere around 5 Million Words in the last
        33 Months of my Pain and Numb where i endured it enough to escape
        it in Words of Searching for my Spirit of Heart and Soul Again.. the Eternal
        Flame Within that had grown dim to almost non-existent in me then .. 32 Years
        Younger than Me You were the Young Woman the only one who could see the LoVE iN
        me who touched
        who flicked the
        Light of Within
        what seemingly
        was a Burned-out Bulb
        of Christmas Tree Color
        To shine Bright once again..
        that little touch of Love you gave
        to me.. has brought more smiles to others
        in Dance and Song than you may be able to
        imagine now.. Literally Hundreds of Thousands
        mostly through the Dance of me Lit in part by the Love
        you Brought Freely to me.. the Fire of Hope my Friend
        That Brings Love Back to Life.. You are the Person Who
        Showed me Home again Unconditional For A Stranger
        in DarK
        Home for
        the Holidays
        in LiGHT For the Stranger
        only wanting to Live again…
        Smiles Hearing from you the
        first time was one of the Greatest
        Blessings in my life Hearing from
        me is a Given Free now.. Hearing
        from You Again whenever you Return
        is no Different than What a Father or
        Mother Will Feel for the Return of
        a Prodigal
        Son
        or
        Daughter
        my FRiEnD
        Smiles my FRiEnD
        Hearing from You now
        is just another reason feeling desire
        to Celebrate Every Day as Christmas
        Just another Day of Love to Give Love even more
        This is How Rays of Light Celebrate They Shine my
        FRiEnD they shine even more With Even More Colors of Christmas Tree to come..:)

  15. Words i Remember Most From You as You were one of the First
    who Ever Called Me a Forever Friend is People Will Forget You
    Like You Never Exist at all.. this is True my Friend
    as i come back to visit you on the 6th as Promise
    i found this Reality after Giving my
    Work Place my All for 23 and A Half
    Years as i would spend my Next One and
    A Half Years of Active Paid Service on Annual
    And Sick Leave accumulated Before Retiring Permanently
    Medically And Legally Assessed With Disability with 19 Medical
    Disorders then at Age 47.. true i gave too Much And Rarely to
    Ever Said No to help someone else out.. even then if it meant
    i was experiencing excruciating Pain Within from The Chronic
    to Acute Stress of Doing more than i could Reasonably Do as
    Just one Human Being then Spread out in so many Directions
    of tasks at once Where Humans are only Evolved to Flow on one
    Task at once in Laser Focus of Achieving Fuller Human Potential as
    of course my
    Boss Freed
    Himself to do
    With a Closed Door
    while mine was Open
    in every direction but one
    to get every job done.. it took
    its toll.. Yes Years of Toll.. and for
    all the work i put in do you think
    many folks checked back on me
    to see how i was doing when i fell
    Yes.. a Few Did Less than a Handfull
    of all of who i helped but what i found
    mostly is i was a commodity Just a Valuable
    Tool for i gave up my Humanity too to get the jobs
    all done rarely if ever saying no as i just did not respect
    myself enough to do that… Sadly the God of Money And
    Stuff Will Do this to Us.. Even ‘the Rich’ and the Yachts they
    buy that sit in Harbor for only a Garden Party every Year or so
    Like Huge Campers and Boats in Back Yards where Tires Rot as
    Christmas ornaments on Lawns never Used for Joy to Actually Feel…
    Smiles Fast Forward 12 Years from the Fall of my Soul to Age 59 Stronger
    Than Ever Happier than Ever Love is Mine the Essence of the Center of my UniVerse
    to Give and Share.. people still forget me.. and rarely does any one ‘pay’ the Focus i give to them..
    But you See..
    i no longer
    Work for
    the God
    of Pay..
    i am Free..
    They took the
    Work away from
    me and Set me free
    through the DisEase
    of a Modern Society that
    isn’t even Human as Human
    is evolved to be yes Human is
    Evolved to Be Love without Fear
    With Courage to Hold Hands through
    Any storm That comes.. i continue to Hold
    Your Hand with no expect of Return for i understand
    the other place too and all i will do is be who i am now..
    Anyway i will always be your FRiEnd with or Without
    Your hand Lala Rukh
    for when
    i say
    Forever
    now it is
    so much more than Words..
    yet i understand the difficulty
    of the other place of Words..:)

  16. “Time. That can never be counted. Only lived.” i’ve Quoted From You
    Before Lala Rukh.. i’ll Quote it again now around 74 Months since i first
    met You.. and for me 73 Months Now of that and 12,044 Miles of Public Dance
    With 7.3 MiLLioN Words of a Longest Epic Long Form Bible Poem that i told you
    Someone from the Farther East would Help me Write.. true this Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
    i thought felt sensed deep within Holy and Creative Spirit when first Called by God
    the September Month of 1981 just 21 Years-Old not having
    Any Idea then that the Voice of God is Always Dwelling
    Within as God Does For ALL Just Waiting NoWTHeN
    to Speak to me in How God Speaks
    in Synchronicity if i could Just
    Let Go oF aLL
    Distractions
    of the External
    World and Find a Way
    To Laser Focus Enough to Look
    Within so then close to 9.6.1981
    i took a long Walk on the Beach From
    Morning to Sunset then.. i didn’t realize it then
    but that is one way Communing With Nature that
    Will take one into Flow out of Neo-Cortex mostly alone
    Lighting up the Rest of the Colors of our Christmas Tree
    Mind and Body Balance Force of Holy and Sacred Creative
    Spirit From: Head to: toe and More and Voila anyone clothed
    With No Cultural Human Garments will be first as last least as
    Greatest of any Prophet whose Feet have Touched the Ground of
    God’s Grains of Sand where beneath the smallest Grain of Sand
    IS A Greatest Prophet of God Yes the Make-Up of that Grain
    of Sand with the Potential to Support and Provide a Way to
    Stand for a Mountain of Human Love more than what
    has been Heard and Seen of Before.. sure could
    be a cave.. a desert.. top of a Tallest Mountain
    one Climbs or Yes a Flow of Walking on
    A Beautiful Beach From Morning to
    Twilight Eternally now.. yes..
    Creative Holy And
    Sacred Higher
    Force of
    God Creative
    Flow of Love within
    to give and share for free
    with all others now and the
    Rest of Nature Yes God Plus
    Doing the Least harm to ALL
    While Consuming God Nature
    True in LiGhT NoW too.. so yeah.. you
    helped me write the First Five months of that
    Message and once a Month Since then you have
    Been ‘Faithful Servant in Kindness’ to allow me to come
    Here once a Month to allow me to continue that Message
    in a Bible Bottle “SonG oF my SoUL” with 8 Sub-titled Bibles
    included in that Bible Long Form Epic Poem as Long as the
    Old King James Style Bible where i knock one of those out
    about every 7 Months or so now.. as the Tale of the tape
    the Record of my Bible Message Book Still Dances and
    Sings now.. but you see it’s Up to God ALL for the
    Rest of Nature here for what Happens
    to the Message Yet.. could be
    just a Butterfly Effect of
    one Wing together
    With another
    Wing
    And
    My Mission
    as Messenger
    of Much Newer Bible complete..
    true or it could Just be a Beautiful
    Photo of a Butterfly i take and enough
    Love Given to a Friend in Awe of Nature
    to be inspired to find Her Love and Birth
    Another Savior of Humankind more Hand in Hand
    too.. for you see there is No Good Morning Good evening
    Hello or Greeting Each Month too small or Big.. no thanks
    and no injustice too small in Dark to Save Humankind’s Nature too..
    in FAct there is no Savior of the Species except for all of Us now.. Some
    folks spend their time Wisely and some folks Just spending it Spending it..
    perhaps
    that is
    what i
    Do but
    true all
    i intend
    to do is
    Move Butterfly Wings now True iN LiGhT for Real
    anyway it doesn’t really Matter if You are Wind Now
    or Not You Are The Story And You Are Real i See You Now..
    It’s the 6th of October i don’t Break my Promises never ever….now
    Wisdom’s
    Beauty ALL
    LoVE NoW
    Truth iN Light
    is Everything
    Nothing really
    Matters Love is All We Need
    Everything i give comes back to You and me
    And Us and We as of course Even Quantum
    Mechanics Says all is one Now no Separation
    Love is all that is
    for those
    who
    see
    this
    Wind Breathing
    Now for those who
    become Water Wave Ocean Whole
    for they already are for those Who come to see Wind..:)

    10.6.19 11:59 PM..:)

  17. i must be very Strange
    i’m Glad i am it’s 11:53 PM
    WHeRe i Live Still the 6th my
    Promise to you still in tact as Long
    as i Live i won’t break a promise no
    matter what as that is my Religion
    My Way of Life..
    true though
    i will bend
    the Rules
    Endlessly
    for Freedom
    oF LoVE iN LiGHT
    5 More minutes until the
    7th here my Promise of
    the 6th to you as there is
    another Friend Now with
    a Promise of the 7th that
    comes Next for if i never met
    You i would have Never Met Her..
    it’s wonderful truly amazing as each
    Unique Forever Friend Love connection
    Pure this way we make in Life.. God Wakes
    up a bit more in Love for all of Existence more
    Eternally Now.. smiles 4 Minutes Left to Midnight
    And another Song Coming for True i have 3 more
    Friends a 4th and a 5th to visit and the 5th who no
    longer replies to me as well.. but it’s okay for it is the
    Love the Flicker the Flame that Makes the Bonfire that
    Never goes out what cost is Love but to Grow that Bonfire
    Within
    Greater
    than ever
    Before but true
    first we have to drop
    the defenses all the Cultural
    Clothes that Separate Love from
    Will some of us are Born and Spoon-Fed
    With More of these Clothes others of us come
    Freer in Love and Stay that Way until the end
    of the beginning never finishing always Starting
    Now 2 Minutes Left an Eternity of Colors of Love
    Ever Blending as Soul to give and share more i have
    Another Friend Who Believe in Multiples of 7 like me..
    with one minute
    left i will
    always
    have
    something
    of my Soul to Give
    And Share With You Now
    as the Clock Strikes the 7th
    Where i am.. 9.6.19 was truly
    A Beautiful Day of Love for me
    But True the way i amGardened
    on Your Website 6 Years ago is
    still part of My Soul that Brings that Love
    today there is always room For Gratitude
    3 Minutes After Midnight Eternally Now my Friend Lala Rukh..:)

  18. Book Marks of Soul Places
    We Visit at Turning Points of our
    Life we Value and Never Lose Truly
    Never Missing for they Are the Gifts of
    Life that Change Us For Ever Nostalgia For
    Old Friends Gone but Never Left for those of us
    who never
    Lose the
    Ability
    to Appreciate
    what comes and goes..
    Smiles my Friend i Promised the
    6th to Remember the Gift of Your Friendship
    in my Life soon after that a Another Gift Came
    And Several Others one Retains the 7th for Honor
    and Perhaps an 8th of the Month Soon Now as Well for
    when one Travels thru the Dark Abyss of Hell for 66 Months
    Like I did returning back to Heaven Within at the End of July 2013
    When i first met you.. Sprig of Emotions Back in Heaven With all
    of Your Emotions Lala Rukh You Gave and Shared Free Watering
    A Sapling Tree of my HeART Back to Life as i Piggy Backed on your
    SPiRiT oF SoUL thru Your Raging Waves of Dark thru Light True Dark
    as important
    For Soul
    As Light
    to Travel
    all Paths
    of Life Journeys Whole now..
    i remember you saying people
    come and go they forget you and
    never return i am not such a Soul for
    i Appreciate the Flickers are the Flames
    who Helped to Grow my Soul Whole.. i
    am not Sad when others Do not show a
    Same Appreciation for i feel Glad that i
    am one Lucky enough to still Give and
    Share A Gift of Love.. it is the Flame
    that Still Burns that Warms a Home
    Within that continues to give and
    Share For Free Never Tiring
    As Giving And Sharing
    Only Burns a Flame
    Higher With
    Oxygen
    of Love In Balance
    Best not too high or low..
    As True that is surely an Art of
    Life With Both Bi-Polar And Autism
    Spectrum Challenges too.. but of course
    related really not that much Different than
    ADHD too.. all parts of Genetics that Remain
    in the Gene Pool For Scientific Discoveries and
    Vincent Van Gogh Paintings Still Waiting in Halls of Masterpiece
    to come.. additional Shadows and Colors of Mona Lisa’s And Sistine
    Ceilings More.. New inspiring Moves from Michelangelo David’s too endless
    Challenges of Arts and Sciences more to Come for those With Just a Fire enough
    Never to Give up on who and what they Love in Life most.. somedays it is a Flower
    other days it is a distant Friend one talked to almost every day for Five Months just
    waiting around for their inevitable Wedding day to Come.. smiles just another thank
    you now for
    allowing
    me to
    Hitch
    A Ride
    on all the Waves
    Above Below of
    A HeART unafraid to
    Speak Dark thru Light
    A Gift Both Are as Life my Friend
    You once called me a forever friend
    i mean what i say and do what i mean..
    there is never ever any giving up from a Real Friend..
    i know i’ve grown up for how easy it is to say good bye
    returning
    as
    well
    now
    as See
    You Later
    Whether or not
    You See me at all
    my Friend Gold of
    Friendship i still retain to give..:)

  19. Hi you were the one who start motivating about my writing back in 2015 . I stop writing 4 years ago . Wanted tp start again . But i love your writing if any possibility we could talk my insta is samay9999 ?

  20. Funny How one can read the Same Story So many Instances
    And Find So many Meanings as that may apply to so many experiences
    of our lives as that relates to the lives of other Human Beings and today the
    same story Catches the Feelings of my HeART for Life With an OPeN and
    Honest HeART that Hides no eYes versus the Days and Yes Years of My Life
    WHeRe HeART Travels so Far away from SouL and Yes even Spirit to both Feel
    and Sense and Give and Share so easily with almost everyone We meet even Strangers
    Never Met Before
    as there is always
    a Heart Felt Connection
    of Humanity that is deep
    and ever more as each Set
    of Human Eyes Open Soul
    As Pathway to their Hearts
    And Spirits Free to be in
    Flow of Love no
    longer Bound
    in a Moment
    Any Further than
    the Human Connection
    as it unwinds and reaches
    out and touches Windows so
    free of Other Souls.. It’s true this
    is a Muscle this is the Heart Muscle
    With Wings of Spirit that may Arise or
    Fall Lower Depending on how We Exercise
    this Greatest Love Muscle of All that Beats
    that plays the Music of Our Soul Unbound
    and no Longer Trapped so Deep without
    a Doorway to Seemingly Escape.. So
    How Does a HeART that’s lost its
    Way Make it to a New Door
    Way of Relief a New
    Home to House
    A Beat that
    Plays the
    Music Yes the
    Spirit of our HeARTFeLT
    SoUL Again.. SMiLes my FriEnd
    what i do know feel and sense when
    the HeART comes Raging Back as Water
    Fall No Longer Held by Dams Within a Spectacular
    Fire Works SHoW iT WiLL Make as MaGiC is all the
    Colors Beyond Rainbow Bright We Begin To Fill and Feel
    Up Again in Delight of Life Reborn as Light comes Loving it
    All as we
    come
    to be
    the LandLord
    Generating our
    own Rent of Loving
    Life as only really Happens
    When HeART oPeNS MaKinG
    Path ways for SPiRiT oF SoUL
    To Generate Feeling Sensing
    Giving Sharing LoVE JusT FoR Free
    the Freedom of Being LoVE iNcarNaTE AGAiN..
    Other than that Hope you are still successful in your
    Travel Job with the Airlines where You Work in the United
    Kingdom after your Move from Pakistan Lala Rukh and surely
    Hope you find Your Own Key to Open Your Own HeART to Color Life even more..:)

  21. “Time. That can never be counted. Only lived.”
    Happy 6th to ya Lala Rukh A Timely Quote for
    Sure as i turn 59 today.. Not afraid
    to live as long as i live
    i live more in a moment
    than i did in my 20’s so i live
    more than ever now.. for every Breath
    is Gift.. i Dance and Sing so long even longer
    now.. my Bible Poem “SonG oF mY SouL” Reaches
    7 MiLLioN Words in Epic Portion of Longest Long Form
    Writing Shaping Style.. in 70 Months of doing that in tandem
    with 11,396 Miles of Public Dance in 70 Months too as that
    Anniversary comes at the End of this Month and the Writing actually
    on 6.18.19.. but hey might as well Celebrate it all on my Birthday Why not..
    in the 70th Month of doing all of this.. smiles i would ask you what you have been
    up too.. but i’m not quite sure at this point when you actually came back here to converse
    with the Readers at Hand.. i take
    Life one Moment at a time
    and try my Best
    not to try to
    Judge now
    what Drives
    other Folks
    for it is enough
    Effort Keeping up with me.. hehe..
    Anyway.. oh Boy/Girl when i make a promise i keep it
    i said i’d be back on the 6th as there was a Day i talked
    to you here almost every day for 5 months.. smiles that is just
    the way i am still remember you saying that people forget you
    they always do.. i never do.. that’s just how my Mind works..
    Never
    Forgetting
    is just my
    Way i suppose
    the upside is not
    everyone gets to write
    a 7 Milloin Word Long Form
    Poem Bible one would have to remember
    lots to be able to do that.. for me at least
    i remember what i was wearing at Disney World
    in 1995.. 24 Years ago.. the Color of the Umbrella
    was Black and the Day was similar to a Rainy Day like
    We Have now.. at 35 i was very uncomfortable in both moving
    and speaking in my Skin then now i am totally comfortable Dancing And
    Singing my Soul Free.. even solo my Friend but never Separate From God..
    if i could tell anyone your age let’s see i guess close to my Indian Friend at 27
    since i met you 6 Tears ago.. when you were 21.. and i was 53.. it would be that
    Being Human does not necessitate that one feels any less Young at 59 than 21 in
    Fact when i was 21 i felt ancient and half dead and numb so weak too.. all the potentials
    that we Humans have we never touch for someone in an Science Project for the Average
    Couch Potato Population said we go down Hill that way by the time we are 30.. smiles i remember
    telling you i Leg Press 500 LBS when i met you.. weighed 210 LBS now at 240 i Leg Press 1340
    LBS you are supposed to get smaller and weaker when one reaches my age now.. true i prove
    the Averages wrong for they are based on a domesticated Human Population who on average
    has fallen asleep
    both in their
    Flesh and
    Blood
    and Soul
    Potential
    to connect
    with God i am
    not sure what folks
    are waiting on for Paradise
    now except for what someone else
    told them was not the Norm.. sadly
    the Norm is this World Sucks sadly
    so many folks miss out on perhaps
    the only chance for Heaven there is just now..
    It’s a place that Real Sages from the Ages have
    been talking about it for as long as Folks have been
    sharing Existential Intelligences through Symbols sadly
    now the Words are Idols and the Men are Gods instead of Teachers
    Humbly Teaching Folks they will be the Co-Creator Within for Nirvana Real now..
    anyway
    my
    Friend
    just another
    Day in the
    Life of Heaven
    i am always in touch
    With God that Gets me through.. and up..:)

  22. “Time. That can never be counted. Only lived.”
    Hello Lala Rukh Happy 6th of the Month to ya..
    Getting Very close to 6 Years now of coming to Visit
    You a couple of more Months to reach that Connection
    Point my Friend for what are Years what are Months
    what are even Days or Minutes or yes even Seconds too
    When Now
    is all there
    is that
    and
    Who Truly Counts
    As Us Yes We Yes All
    of Existence in this Moment
    this Present of now.. Gift as such
    too of course.. anyway Happy to Quote
    You for this Quote will even Change Colors
    depending on who may Read it in the Ever Changing
    Eternal Now.. Time Such a River Never a Stroke of a Clock
    Alone Subjective Feelings and Senses only deep as we Feel and
    Sense Life Now Alternatively People attempt to Fill Now up with what
    they Buy and Collect of Stuff in Life the External Happiness that is only
    An illusion
    Away from
    The Essence
    And Feel of within
    but as long as folks
    know the External Stuff
    is not Essence Real why not use
    Any Tool Available to Color the Feelings
    even more And Senses within now too until
    Above comes Below within Inside as Outside
    And All Around Now too All Relative to the Love and Light
    We Feel and Sense or the other place of Dark WHeRe LiGHT
    MaY Arise too.. True it’s May and Light continues to Rise my Friend..
    Happy
    May
    Days
    i’m a bit
    relieved that
    April Fool Days
    are Distant In History Now
    As i please my Friend in a Different Present Gift Now..:)

  23. that picture .. made me double take … it induced a lot of memories and nostalgia for me too.. we too had exactly the same pillars on our balconies .. years and years ago.. was a teenager then . dont know why I was sort of fascinated with them .. over time the developed cracks in them .. I really don’t know what and why the fascination was…. then home renovation got rid of these cement made pillars. time takes away so much leaving behind fading memories . sigh..
    nice to have you back . 🙂

  24. Unrequited Love the Dull Pain of Heart that never fully goes away i remember Your
    Pain the Pain of Your Unrequited Love Palpable it was as Your Love one Drifted Away from
    You So Close.. True.. i remember that Here too as Your Sadness became my Sadness as Blogging
    often Brings to others with Healing Tears and Nuanced Emotions that come Within Words Housed
    To Be felt among others too.. what a healing Force Emotions are what an emptiness comes with
    Unrequited Love what Dark Muse for Art it will Bring as Long as all is not held within.. Smiles
    so what is more Empty
    Unrequited
    Love are Love that
    is no longer Afraid and
    Disappears into the Light
    What is more full Longing or
    Forgetfulness of what it even means
    to be Hungry for Love.. Personally i am never
    more Filled than when i am Hungry for Love i am
    Never Bored as Long now as i am Hungry for Living
    And Without Love what’s the use for True Unrequited
    Love is Love too.. the Hungry that Brings us to the Table of Muse
    The Dark that becomes the light as the light becomes the dark as Dark
    Reminds
    the Day to
    Wake up as Night..
    For Sure we all Sleep and
    Wake under the Dark and Light
    of Our Milky Way Home endlessly it
    Spirals to make Loving us in all our Light
    of Human Potential.. to remember Love is to Love
    Again to Long for Love is to Love Again.. how strange
    it is how
    the Dark
    of Loneliness
    Paints the Moon
    When Full of Love Longing
    Even more.. Smiles Lala Rukh i Feel Your
    Pain but true i Feel Your Love too.. for Love
    is only as Long as we Long For Love to Be.. perhaps
    You have more than any Dream’s Fruition now to feel to feel so much..:)

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