Black Heavy Boots

Scared little asian girl

With sewed lips and glued eyes she’d put her first quivering step on the stairs of cellar. Before climbing down, she’d leave her mortified ‘self’ on a shelf beside the cellar door. Her exhausted 10 years old corpse would soon drag itself down to the cold ground where sinful darkness would cloak her.

A pair of black heavy boots would instantly follow her down. The sound of their hammering knocks matches the rhythm of her thumping heart. As it reaches more close, her frightened heart rips apart her chest and falls right in the middle of his feet. The bleeding that follows would be far less than the one that happens just before he leaves her there.

His hands reach for her clothes. Her body turns to a rock. Her heart would squirm like a fish out of water, lying right beside her as the water in her stone eyes dry out. Her teeth would bite hard into the flesh of her rosy lips.

A tough blow from one of his boots makes her alive again.

She draws a long burning breath in, in a desperate hope of it to be the last one. Hope laughs. She falls into the arms of despair yet once again.

On the way back, she never forgets to take back her ‘self’ from the shelf beside the cellar door…


She helps her mother cook food for her father. It is time for her mother to go to her teaching job. She want to beg her not to go but she can’t.

As she serves food to her father, she could feel a burning sensation on her skin where he stares. She looks down on his feet.

His black heavy boots are covered in blood…


Almost 90,000 cases of child sexual abuse are reported each year. Out of which, 96% are known to their victims and 20% are fathers. (Advocates for Youth, 1995)



57 thoughts on “Black Heavy Boots

  1. Very poignantly described.
    I have had a draft on the same theme from a couple of months, now, pending due to job problems. 😀
    This is a subject very close to my heart. Thank you for sharing this.
    Makes one’s heart bleed…

    • Yes it does bleed heart’s Seemeen. Thank you for reading and praising my work. Appreciated !
      I am waiting now for that draft to be published 😉 It would be really wonderful for all I know is that you write everything awesomely 🙂
      Love you !

  2. Such are the most bitter truths that are so disgusting & … Well actually the worst of the words would still be unable to express ones feeling…!!!

    Ghin aane lagti hai khud se… It has been three days since I read the post and I couldn’t even bring myself to comment… With what face I should ever dare to write … For unfortunately I belong the the same gender class… What right I have to even express how I feel about this… All of us men should just die from the shame of it…!!!

    I can’t say anymore…!!! 😦

    • I know Mani. I can feel what you are feeling right now. But we can’t blame every man for the actions of few. It’s those few who should be punished till they feel the same pain as they gave to those girls.
      I wish we could do something. Anything.

      • I don’t think there’s much point on focusing on punishment Lala. Nor are all the victims girls.

        A disproportionate number of abusers were themselves abused. Punishment’s like that. It only teaches you to punish.

          • It’s a tough call.

            I don’t believe it will ever be solved, not even if you kill every one you catch. That’s because only a relatively small proportion are repeat offenders so killing them won’t do much to reduce new offences but mainly it’s because only a very small proportion are ever caught.

            There’s also problems with verification and moral panic. In the 1980s and 90s psychologists believed in something called ‘recovered memories’ – the idea that traumatic memories are often suppressed and a skilled mental health professional can bring them back to the surface. Problem is the methods they used actually created false memories (It’s not hard to do). Some people started convincing kids that they’d been ritually abused by conspiracies of Satanists. Lots of innocent people – mostly teachers and child care workers – went to prison, even for accusations that could be shown to be untrue or even impossible. Many of them spent years in prison before being exonerated, but at least they weren’t executed.

            There’s some hopeful things that can be done though.

            According to Australian academic called Freda Briggs, who specialises in this sort of thing, the most important thing to do is to educate kids so they know the difference between abuse, punishment and ‘special treatment’ and can respond accordingly, to learn to defend their own bodily boundaries and to not blindly follow the instructions of adults.

            There are also some programs that have modest success in preventing people from reoffending. They only seem to work on certain kinds of offenders though and the ones run by the prison systems can’t be shown to work at all (in fact there’s some evidence they make sex offenders more violent). They also use a lot of resources in monitoring and supporting potential offenders – though they’re cheaper than putting them in prison.

            One of the most hopeful things I’ve seen though are the groups of people who think they’re at risk of committing these kinds of offences who get together to seek help resisting the impulses (e.g. Virped). By running a witch hunt we risk driving these people underground where they can’t get help and are more likely to offend.

            • Yes educating kids to differentiate sounds like the best solution for now. It can stop or more realistically make the number of new offenders less.
              But what to make of the present ones. Out and about and proud of who they are.
              The idea of ‘recovered memories’ and other weird but interesting new things you have mentioned are unknown for me.
              Will explore these now.

    • Yes, probably, a combination of both. Whatever it is, it shouldn’t be like it. But the percentage is sadly increasing day by day. We have to raise awareness to stop this.
      Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts Sir.

  3. the irony is that our society generally just turns its face to the other side when this topic arises, usually the child is forced to keep quite, there are so many incidents which are never told to anyone and reported. You have written a very thought provoking post Lala.

    • You are SO right. That’s what I was just talking about with the other readers. I don’t know why, for the fake ‘HONOR’ we try to destroy the lives of such innocent souls who don’t even know what cruelty happens to them.
      Thanks for reading Akhiz, means a lot !

  4. Humanity is disappointing to the point of extreme depression.
    I’m so sorry that such animals exist. I wish people would keep a look out for this kind of abuse.
    I think often when we see families behave weird, we tell ourselves that it isn’t our business how they behave when it damn well is our business to make sure that things are alright between them.

  5. Oh Lord, Thank you so much for writing this Lala.
    These things need to be spoken about in order to raise better awareness.
    May Allah have Mercy on these young souls.

    • You are right Hiba. It IS our business to inquire whether they are hiding something brutal due to some blackmailing or pressure. These type of things should be brought to notice and the offender should never be allowed to wander off freely. It is painful that most of the times, our society tries to hide these things just for the sake of ‘Honor’.
      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts Hiba. Keep supporting always ! Love.

  6. Oh Lala, this brings tears to the eyes. So so so so soooooooo sad. My heart goes out to these girls. The pain and suffering that they must feel.
    Well done on bringing this to the light, and for sharing this raw reality.

  7. This is heart-wrenching. And they way you described the story was heart-breaking. This was an eye-opener. Kudos for bringing this sad matter into light Lala. Your words hit me right in my heart.

  8. Saddening to go through the numbers….we need tough laws against child abuse across the world. We are killing their innocence (and causing them mental and physical agony too) through such barbaric acts!

    • There are tough laws against it in most places. Doesn’t seem to help much. Part of the problem is the offender is usually a ‘friend’ or family member and the victim is often loathe to report the offence for fear the offender will be punished and the family will blame them. (“This is something special and secret between you and me. Other people wouldn’t understand. You don’t want daddy to be taken away do you?”). Often the fear of punishment and losing their breadwinner makes the whole family complicit in hiding the abuse.

      What does work is teaching kids to recognise when they’re being abused, protect their own bodily integrity and seek help when necessary but to do that you need to teach them to not accept adult authority without question. A lot of people don’t want to teach children to think and stand up for themselves.

      • I would agree with you on the teaching part…and it should be taught right from schools!

        Society is to be blames as well for this mess, as we blame the victim (rather than the abuser) in most of the cases!

        • I agree with both of you. This awareness about recognizing when something bad is happening to you, is essential. In backward societies specially in an Islamic setup, girls are usually forced to keep mouth shut to save their own respect and dignity. And to save the offender as he is sometimes the only one earning for them or sometimes a close relative and by reporting him, they will be responsible for shattering the ‘honor’ of the whole family. So the girl is kept quiet. This so called Honor is saved. No one cares about the girl. No one.
          Anyways, I Thanks so much you guys for your enlightening comments.

  9. Hi.. Friend Lala.. perhaps the greatest thing about poetry and emotionally inspiring ART.. in general.. is that it awakens and nourishes the Human Love Muscle of emotional and intellectual empathy AKA Affective and Cognitive Empathy.. for our fellow human beings.. and your metaphor for the’ Black Heavy Boot’ of the male tool of Love becoming weapon in sexual abuse of children speaks volumes in dark to that most tragic of realities of human hell.. in LIFE…

    A young woman who is my friend in college.. a Guamanian Girl.. named Renee.. confides in me her childhood sexual abuse by her military father.. and a decade or so later.. she puts a revolver to her head in her father’s bed.. with two beautiful children of her own.. and a loving Husband in the military.. her father’s weapon of selfishness and hate in childhood becomes that gun of death.. as ‘black heavy boot’…

    A twelve year old girl in lands occupied by the terrorist group ISIL.. is raped repeatedly by soldiers who are convinced by recruiters.. that GOD sanctions this terror as a blessing.. an older women begs the man not to do it.. as the child has a horrible infection inside.. and is writhing in pain.. the soldier kneels down by the bed and prays in GOD’s name.. and thanks GOD for the blessing of killing this girl slowly with his BLack Heavy Boot. while he is on top of her…

    Some men
    truly should NOT
    be allowed to have
    at all…

    A plunging sword of pillaging raping Chimpanzee…
    or tool of Love of our closer cousIN primate Bonobo
    consensually using member as tool of Love
    to Prevent aggression.. violence.. killing..
    As always.. as in the case of
    money.. this tool is only
    the root of
    evil when
    it is

    tools blood
    tears DEATH IN LIFE.

    • Oh My God. Your stories are horrifying. And yes this happens. I have read and listened about many of these type of incidents. It is sad. This abuse done to one girl affects generations and at the end when she can’t take it anymore, the only way out seems to be suicide.
      Thanks for sharing your views my friend, and thanks for reading !

    • They sure do need to be punished. At times, victims stay quiet because they don’t want to get exposed themselves. Still in those cases. I believe Karma will grab them by their necks ! Thanks for reading and sharing your views !

  10. Bravo for taking on this difficult topic from the point of view of a child victim, Lala. Particular plaudits for highlighting the fact the huge majority of sex offenders are known to their victims.

    When I worked in criminal justice activism we had a saying about sex offenders. It’s not the guy in the shadows. It’s the guy on your arm you need to be careful of.

    Myths and facts about sex offenders – The USDOJ Center for Sex Offender Management.

    • Thank you Cabrogal.
      I started thinking about this topic when I was reading this book about a father abusing his 5 years old daughter for standing up to him and telling her that it’s her fault that this sexual abuse is happening to her. After many years she realized that it wasn’t her fault.
      Then I did a brief research and found out how this is commonly happening all over the world. It’s disgusting. Really.
      To find out that most of the sex offenders are the people who know you in some way. It’s awful. I don’t know what type of world it is we live in.
      And this report you shared, right on point !

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