On Seeking, knowing and Loving. On understanding Islam in it’s meaning as a whole.

“Love is the water of life and a Lover is the soul of fire. The universe turns differently when fire loves water” Forty Rules Of Love.


I need to arrange this mess in my mind. I need to remind myself once again that I should keep walking no matter what.

There was a time when I read Quran with meanings for the first time. I fell in love with the writer. I started relating quranic teachings with events in my everyday life. I’d pray five times and would stay away from everything that Allah forbade me. I started playing according to the rules. Love was the reason.

Then, with time when I encountered life rendering events, when my vision became broader and I inquired about life more closely, I got confused. Literal meanings and rules of Islam and people following them literally filled my mind with contradiction and heart with turmoil.

When I was on the verge of getting out of the circle of Islam (with my own consent), I was pushed back in (again with my own consent) with the help of right knowledge I needed at that time. Love was the reason once again.

By categorizing Muslims into different types, I learnt to blame people for insane acts, not the religion that they follow. If I wouldn’t have categorized them, I certainly would have lost trust and faith in my religion and myself till now.

The Extremists:

They are the most dominant at present and known to be the only type of Muslims by other countries. They include Scholars and heads of Islam (as they call themselves). All the Molvi’s, Mowlaana’s, fatwa giving mufti’s and everyone who follows them blindly fall in this category.

These are the people who take out bits and pieces of ayah’s of Quran, speak out about the ones they like and miss out the one’s they don’t. And then use them as an excuse to do activities they actually want to do. Probably that’s why one half told truth is dangerous than a thousand lies.

Suicide bombing, killing innocent people, spreading war, training children’s minds for fighting against non-believers, suppressing and beating women, dreaming inappropriately for virgins in heaven, killing people in the name of Prophet Muhammad and calling every other ‘Muslim’ as a ‘non-believer’ who don’t abide by their rules. That is what they do and believe in.

The moderate:

These Muslims are the ones who were born Muslims and they take it for granted. Their lives are more influenced by the society rather than religion. They learn reading Quran with a good accent in Arabic at the age of 8, learn saying their prayer and many short ayah’s by heart at the age of 10 and complete the definition of ‘true Muslim’ by praying five times a day at mosque and reciting some pages of Quran daily at the age of 12. Every other Muslim who don’t follow this routine is only a ‘Muslim-by-name’ (for them). They pass their lives according to the rules of Quran they learn from their Islamic studies text books in school and college.

These Muslims are the ones who sneeze and say ‘Shaker-Alhamdullilah’ (Thanks to Allah) without knowing why are they thanking Him.

For them, alcohol is strictly prohibited in Islam but at the same time they talk behind people’s back without knowing that Allah dislikes speaking ill of a fellow behind his back much, much more than drinking alcohol.

They admit that their prayers are filled with worldly thoughts and sometimes not for a single second do Allah comes in their mind. But they still follow the routine with a hope. May be if they attend the class, they get to pass even if they don’t pay attention to the lecture. Hope is the reason to live on.

They don’t search. They are intended with what they got. They are like the stagnant pond which don’t want to be a part of ever flowing sea.

The Searchers:

These Muslims are the ones who struggle to search for the hidden. They start their journey in the boat of religious rules but then, they dive into the sea and become a part of it.

They understand Quran with it’s meanings and try to relate everything they read with their life. Then their heart is opened for love by Allah and their struggle goes on. Slowly they start understanding Quran with it’s hidden meanings other than the literal ones.

For them, religious rules are important only if they don’t cover their sight. If they don’t stop them from becoming one with the whole. They spread love, fight against their ego, feel pleasure in pain and ecstasy in serving humanity.

They find Allah within themselves, within their hearts. For Love they live and for love they die…

Since now, I had many fierce questions which I wanted to ask Allah, about the religion He sent and about His rules. At this second, I have all the answers. This journey between unknown and known is mysterious to me.

He made different people with different qualities and natures. This shows how Great He is. Being aware of the thoughts of every single person, He set out different rules to control them. For some He introduced the idea of an afterlife, a heaven and a Hell. He became a grocer who will weigh their good and bad acts. For some greedy ones, He produced every luxury in heaven. For some nasty ones, He produced beautiful virgins. For some, He simply sow a seed of Love in heart and give them control of whether to nourish it or to let it die. Like a mother who knows which kid wishes for which treat and which one fears of which imaginary ghost.

He just likes to be remembered in return. He likes to be searched. He likes to reveal himself to those who seek His Love.

All praise worthy He is.He don’t see the acts, He sees the intentions. He knows how unique has He made every single being and how will He judge one. Why worry about the afterlife, an imaginary world when we can experience heaven and hell in this very moment.

In the journey of seeking truth, I am still a traveler. My mind gets messed up and then cleared. My heart empties and gets filled again. I am still learning to Love and I want to struggle to know more.

Help me in my struggle. Be my mirror. Complete me. Teach me to Love again.












32 thoughts on “On Seeking, knowing and Loving. On understanding Islam in it’s meaning as a whole.

  1. Greetings,

    This is an honest post. Thank you for it.

    I stand next to the searchers with fierce questions.

    All good wishes,


  2. Hi Lala. First of all, I want to say that I really admire your sincerity and openness. It’s so beautiful, as are you. I don’t know a whole lot about the muslim faith, nor do I believe that it’s just all about Jihad and Taliban. I’ve worked in Afghanistan before, and I know that the people aren’t what the media makes them out to be. In fact, we produced a documentary there with the intention of giving a voice to those that don’t have a voice, and showing the world that we have many things we can learn from our middle eastern/west asian neighbours.
    I’m sure that all religions have their sects, denominations, fundamentalists and liberalists, just as you have so rightly categorized here with Islam. I can really relate, even though I’m not a muslim. I grew up believing in God until I was about 11 or 12. However, it was a very shallow understanding. Then as a teenager I became an atheist and accepted what school taught – evolution. Then when I was 19, I started to ask the questions that every human being must grapple with sooner or later. Why am I here? Why do people die? Why are we afraid of death? What happens after death? What is my meaning and purpose in life? Etc…
    I tried so many things, spiritual routes, but couldn’t bring myself to believe in any of them. I was living an immoral lifestyle and partying (very normal for westerners now-a-day). I was stealing from my boss. I did a lot of things that I’m not proud of. A friend started sharing some things about God with me, and I started to become interested. I bought a Bible but couldn’t understand any of it. I just knew that a lot of stuff I was reading (like prophesies and all) were coming true. And, I thought that for me to be made right with God I had to try on my own to do good things and change my life, by my own strength. It never worked. I thought that to go to Heaven I had to do these things. Anyhow, to make a long story short, I ended up becoming a Christian (which I believe you already know). I didn’t really understand it all, but I know that my life radically changed. The bad things I was doing and tried so hard to give up, I was all-of-a-sudden able to. My life totally changed. I experienced peace that passes all understanding. And true meaning and purpose in life.
    Then after years of this, I started to question and all. And with my questions I found that I will never understand it all. It’s like God was saying, “It’s okay Staci. I know you’re freaking out again. You will never understand it all. Leave it in my Almighty hands.” And then His peace that passes all understanding invaded my spirit. Ahhhhhhh.
    Anyhow, for me, I found forgiveness for my sins not by anything I did, but what He did for me. I was dead in my sins, but the sacrifice for my sins had been made for me. I wrote a poem/post recently that goes more into it. I would be honoured if you would read it and let me know what you think:
    Lala, I hope I don’t sound all preachy here. I just thought that I would share my own personal experience with you, as you have so bravely and beautifully shared yours with us here.
    Thank you and many many blessings on you and your husband.
    🙂 ❤

  3. Allah guide us all, Dear Lala, for sure the last life is better than the present, insha’Allah we will get there, ya Rabb! You are a beautiful explorer, sweetheart!❤❤❤;^)

  4. Assalamu alaikum Lala Rukh what you have written is so inspiring. I know little but in the early mornings the sound of Azaan is so peaceful.
    Thank you dear friend be happy always.

    • Wa-alaekum-asalam Dilip ! 🙂 Thank you so much for finding my words inspiring. It is all your kindness. Sound of Azaan is indeed peaceful and I wish I could listen to it here in UK as well. You too my friend, be happy and blessed always 🙂 Loads of love to you ❤

  5. Assalamu alaikum! This is a very well-written post. I suppose the best ones from all these categories are the ones who are continuously learning and feel like travelers, those with open minds and hearts, those who reflect on their own lives instead of judging others, and those who count their own blessings instead of wondering why the other person has more.

    • Verily Nadia. But I think the best ones are those who are best in the eyes of Allah no matter they do all that you have mentioned or not 🙂 Hope you are doing fine, I love your interesting posts. Thank you for visiting my place and reading me. Love you loads xx

    • I don’t know why you love this post Cabrogal. After I wrote this, I didn’t feel good about it. Who was I to distinguish Muslims into categories ? Who was I to judge myself depending on the actions of other Muslims ? I needed to do this in my mind but Instead it all came out here.
      And thank you for your beautiful wish 🙂 Love you !

      • I wouldn’t sweat categorisation if I were you. Everyone does it as a form of intellectual shorthand. It helps us to find sense in the world (even when there is none).

        Where it becomes a problem is when you start to see individuals in terms of their categories instead of their aspects as a unique individual. Yeah, you might be more cautious with certain comments around people who have embraced a rigid world view, but you need to remember that every extremist is unique just like every Muslim, every Pakistani and every woman.

        I once overheard a conversation between some young guys during which one of them started disparaging ‘wogs’. Another interrupted to point out that he was a wog. The first guy was embarrassed for a second but then explained “But you’re alright. Your not like all the rest.” The second guy replied “That’s right. No-one is.”

        I think that’s a piece of wisdom for keeping.
        No-one is like all the rest.

  6. Hi White Shadows. great inspiring post., good to hear from you .l hope you are well .Today they discovered 400 page document of the late Osama Bin Laden New Islamic doctrine calling Jihadist to destroy the West.l don’t think this has to do with Islam .Warm regards.

    • Hello my respected friend ! Hope you are doing fine. This information is new to me. And obviously anything about destroying the innocent is not related to any religion in the world. It is the acts of particular person that we should blame, not the religion he follows. Warm regards to you too 🙂 Love xx

  7. Well.. this wisdom is certainly the best beach of all in life.. and well worth re-blogging for me for my American friends to better understand the Muslim Faith that can be a Universal ONE the way you interpret it here…

    For ‘anyone’ who stays in a desert long enough.. a cave.. or on a desolate beach….

    The way of the God of Nature is this TRUTH and LIGHT that comes… IN WISDOM…

    Many flavors.. many colors.. many textures.. many lights.. and darknesses.. many symbols.. many words.. emotions.. and others senses that connect us to the essence of Allah GOD…

    To see Allah GOD as mirror is truly to be reborn again.. in LOVE again… in Heaven NOW…

    Glad to shake your hand and hug you tHere in words FOR NOW..:)


    • Oh how beautifully you have described exactly what I was thinking. The thing about rebirth after connecting with Allah and about being in heaven now, right now in this very moment. You are a gem:) Thank you so much for all this ❤

      • I love you Lala.. you always inspire Allah in me.. no matter what you do here..


        You are magic…

        It’s as simple


        IT IS no coincidence that you
        and i are
        and everyone else

        of course…:)

  8. I love love this!! The ending was everything, summed up the whole write up brilliantly.
    I could totally see that this post was as a result of some deep reflection by you. Pat on the back Lala! ❤

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