Once In A Blue Moon

Pain_mle46-vThis world’s pain, so intense and vast

My pain seems very little in contrast

I forget my pain as I start to mark

Human’s wounded soul & bleeding heart

Every once in a blue moon, a phase comes in everyone’s life where they have to stop and look back—To compare what they had with what they have and to assume what they will have in future.

This phase comes in my life very often. A crucial time when a sharp beep echoes in my brain and urge it to think day and night without taking any rest. This beep cuts my nerves and bleeds them to death. Leaving me no choice but to cry it out for hours to get rid of it and then my mind goes back to being numb and dumb.

This phase has left me with a question this time, ‘Is Love necessary for a successful relationship?’

I put care, respect and fondness in one plate of the measure pan and Love in the other but nothing seems to be heavier than the other. One of them has to go down….

At this point, Love brings a slight sadness in my heart. Sadness that gives me a feel of warmness and care. A feeling that assures me of being special. An emotion that still awakes every sense in me and digs up every cornered grave in my heart. Love, that is abandoned but still lit up a candle of hope in me…. Hope that never sees whether it is needed or not.

On the other hand care, respect and fondness—as much they appear to be a permanent part of my whole life, seem valueless. As my mind gets lost while wandering between these, my heart drags itself along.

My absurd philosophy makes sense only to me but let me say, Love brings expectations with it and coping up with the expectations is very hard. Without love, you accept whatever life offers you. So for me, Love is not necessary to have a successful relationship, though I would never say a dear and a peaceful one.

As I would be busy straightening up my tangled emotions right now, this world would be grieving–over the deaths of loved ones, over living under the line of poverty, over suicides, over corruption, over terrorism, over being divided into sects, over unemployment and low literacy rate and over dying because of hunger.

Is my pain really worth getting written here? I don’t think so.

 

 

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34 thoughts on “Once In A Blue Moon

  1. اگر کھو گيا اک نشيمن تو کيا غم
    مقامات آہ و فغاں اور بھی ہيں

    What is the worry if one nest is lost?
    There are other places to sigh and cry for!
    Allama iqbal

  2. Pain is pain lala… it cant be measured into big and small. I feel i can sense some of it. most of the times even I go wandering between Love and care, respect. goodness…
    very well articulated.

  3. Is love necessary for a successful relationship…. wow, what a good question to ponder. I tend to think some kind of love is at the core of any relationship. (Doesn’t need to be romantic love.) When we love someone on the most basic level, we put the effort in to show them we care, to listen to them, to think of their feelings instead of just our own. As the relationship carries on, I think the tie gets stronger.

    Anyway, that’s me rambling! I hope you are able to sort through your emotions 🙂

  4. Romantic love is as fleeting as a honeymoon, dear Lala. It takes all the other qualities to keep a marriage alive – respect, good manners, loyalty, friendship. If both partners invest in these qualities, the real true love grows – but not overnight – it takes years to really recognize the admirable qualities in our partners, and this recognition leads to true love (that’s my best offer of explanation after all these years!) love and hugs to you, sweetheart! ❤❤❤;^)

    • Your list of ‘all other things’ seems so perfect Aisha. You are right, it takes whole lot of other things to have a successful relationship for life. You have come up with the perfect definition of love after these years… I hope and pray that you experience the same love till the end ! Much love to you ❤ Hugs !

  5. well Lala, it seems like what i unsuccessfully try to explain about love you here have wonderfully expressed here, kudos….. the thing is its very hard to find unconditional love, people misinterpret between pyar and ishq even though both are separate things, its very difficult for people to turn the other cheek.

  6. HI Lala
    Wow, I am humbled by your response to my comment. Thank you so much for such kind words, my friend.
    I definitely agree with you, using just one word for love does make it confusing and often complicated. When we look at it in the Greek, it seems so rich and separated to words that would define that one certain aspect of what we jumble all together in the one word of “love”.
    By the way, I had no idea that Urdu was the national language of Pakistan. I though it was an Indian language and the ‘Pakistani’ was a language in and of itself. Just goes to show you how ignorant I am eh. Or maybe just that learning never stops and you’ve taught me something new today.
    Blessings and hugs to you, sweet Lala.
    🙂 ❤

    • Oh my friend, your words are always overwhelming and sweet. Love you. Lol and really, you thought Urdu was an Indian language ? Indians have Hindi language that is quite similar to Urdu when spoken but not when written. Urdu is our national language and there is no language like Pakistani lol. See you teach me motivation and sweetness and I taught you that information, that’s what friends do for each other, right ? 🙂 Stay happy always ! Hugs.

      • Hahahahaha. I know, it’s almost embarrassing that I thought that. At least now I know. I really thought there was a ‘Pakistani’ language. I admit it. I’ve traveled to India before, even lived in Jaipur for three months. I’ve also been to Afghanistan, but never to Pakistan. Who knows, maybe one day I will be blessed with this opportunity. And if I am, we will have to meet sweet girl.
        Thank you for being an inspiration to me.
        Hugs to you.
        🙂 ❤

  7. It’s pretty hard to be happy when you’re always looking backwards or forwards. Happiness is what happens right now. The future is for hopes and fears – most of which will not be realised – and the past is for futile regrets – either because it went wrong or because it seems better than the present.

    Romantic love is shallow and ephemeral, no basis for long term happiness. It’s a trick evolution has played on our minds to ensure we give birth to the next generation. What happiness it offers is short-lived and must be paid for in the future when the first burst of love dies out or degenerates into something nastier.

    Maybe there’s other kinds of love that are the basis of successful long term relationships. Maybe there are no constructive relationships without some kind of love. But the millions or billions of people worldwide who are looking for lifelong happiness through romantic love are kidding themselves.

    • Spot on Cabrogal, You stole my words. No matter you are an intelligent philosopher, or can be !
      About the happiness part: I will talk about myself. Happiness may be about living in the present but for me it never was… Future IS about the fears but past…It isn’t about only regrets. Happy moments can be searched in past, in present and in future too.
      About the romantic Love thing, I agree one hundred percent.
      There are kinds of love that come along with compromises that ensure a strong relationship. When you are there, romantic Love seems like a mere fantasy to you.
      Thank you for honoring me with your thoughtful words after such a long time 😉 I thought you forgot me.

  8. “. Love, that is abandoned but still lit up a candle of hope in me…. Hope that never sees whether it is needed or not.” sighs heavily
    Peace and contentment to you always. 🙂

  9. Allah makes humans to love.. and by love i mean supporting the tribe with all their heart in flesh and blood connections making life and survival even possible…

    Technology and modern societies change the equation…

    There is the social cognition part of the mind that includes empathy and the systemizing mind aka mechanical cognition that solves problems…

    When the systemizing mind is turned on to solve problems the empathizing mind is repressed to solve the problems and vice versa…

    My wife’s mother spent her life poor and mostly away from work raising 6 children in mostly poverty sometimes without any electricity or food to feed her children…

    Her way of life was more like our ancestors who truly depend on each other for just their basic survival..

    The amazing thing is later in her life.. through all her hardships.. she always has an open door for anyone in her impoverished community.. in her little home.. for someone to lay a head.. and to share whatever she has to eat…

    And even through all these hardships all six children survive and find people to love them and take care of them.. for they are given the gift of loving all others unconditionally too…

    Sometimes the true poverty among human being.. is in technologically advanced societies.. and what they call the ‘the side of the railroad tracks where the superior folks live’…

    Jesus the prophet words do seem correct.. and Muhammad the prophet shares similar sentiment of what does seem to be truth..

    The meek will truly inherit the Kingdom of Divine Love..

    the greatest gift Allah gives us..

    if used..

    And yes.. i am very impoverished before in this way of life.. needing everything in my life that truly counts to be taken away to fully understand it..

    Love.. yes Love lost.. ALL LOST.. and love gained for all others finAlly true for me…

    The lesson of Allah is now my life..

    Thank GOD…

    This is the problem in the world.. societies are so big now.. that even in individual societies people forget we are equal brothers and sisters in the eyes of Allah.. deserving of equal love..

    yes.. Divine verb of LOVE FREELY GIVEN.. to all others needing.. IT.. to make one tribe work in harmony of Divine LOVE…

    There may be no real effective answer to this.. as human are made by Allah to live in much smaller groups.. with only around 150 to 200 sets of eyes.. to truly connect to.. before eyes become nothing and something to avoid…

    And of course when societies exist overseas with no real connection.. it is so much easier to declare wars large or very small.. to never see the pain of innocents.. who will fall to eyes that are never truly seen..

    WITHOUT the Love of Allah’s Divine connection REAL Human Being LOVING way….

    i never met my neighbors until a Hurricane came and swept away the trees and electricity…

    The best part of the whole experience was meeting and sharing food with my neighbors…

    Something my wife’s mother could take for granted almost everyday of her life…

    Across the railroad tracks..

    of LIFE and LOVE

    Perhaps the reason more of us can do this so far across the continents with so many folks now is..

    We do not have to see each others eyes..per the written word…

    i for one.. LOVE loving eyes….and can never get enough.. in REAL LIFE NOW.. but Allah now makes me.. for whatever reason.. that way.. for NOW @least.

    To be clear i am not placing any personal judgement on your personal life…

    These are just the words that come to me.. that i let flow freely here on yOur blog…

    Love you.. and may Allah’s Divine LOVE always LIVE IN YOU.. FRIEND.. to share with all others as you so easily share IT here… 🙂

    • Reading about your wife’s mother made my heart melt, my friend. The way she fought with the hardships of life with open arms and a big heart is really appreciable. I have seen that, when people keep their heart big for everyone and engage in a habit of giving without thinking of what they will receive in return… Allah gives them 10 times more. This suffering and hardship never lasts forever. Everyone gets his/her share of happiness in this life. Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story of a brave woman with us.
      You are always welcome to say anything here, and you know that. I won’t take your words personally if they are not meant to be. Don’t worry, Stay happy ! Much Love xx

  10. Ohhhhh Lala, I love how sincere and honest you are. May I just share my 2 cents worth.
    First of all, I believe your pain is worth getting written here. You are an individual and unique and when the creator made you, he did so with precision and care. He cares about the inner most, deepest most, tinniest little need you have – physically, mentally, and yes, emotionally.
    Second of all, I don’t know about your mother tongue, but in English, the word love is very vague, and oftentimes, misunderstood. In the Greek there are many words for love. I wrote a post last Valentine’s day on this. I would like to invite you to take a read: http://stacilys.wordpress.com/2014/02/14/love/
    I would just also like to add, that love is often misinterpreted now-a-day as ‘being in love’. Which I guess would include passion. I think that may be a lot of the reason why we see so many divorces now-a-day. Because people think they are ‘falling out of love’. Passion lasts for but a short period of time. True love is a verb, hence, an action word. It is something you do. It is something that requires work and tenacity. Today, the message of ‘being happy’ and ‘finding self-fulfillment’ is preached globally. As if being ‘happy’ is what the ultimate goal of life is. I seems kind of a selfish way to look at love.
    Once again, a beautiful poem. I truly enjoy your posts Lala.
    Many blessings and much love.
    🙂

    • Wow Stacily, you have once again surprised me ! Reading your very mature thoughts on love was a pleasure. You are right as in my language, Urdu, there are many words for describing Love or the stages of love but strangely in English there is only one word that makes things complicated at times. Love, being in love, fondness, attraction, Divine love etc are all the forms of Love but Love includes them all in it.
      Everyone has a different definition of happiness and I guess true Love doesn’t need anything in return… Not happiness not peace not fulfillment.
      Loved your concept of Love as a verb thing. Thanks so much for such a thoughtful comment my friend.
      Just heading over to your post, I would love to read more thoughts on Love from you 🙂
      Hugs for you ❤

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