In My Dreams….


In my dreams I envision a place. A place that is not a magical wonderland nor it is a place where possibilities meet impossibilities. It is a place where I can do whatever I want, outside the walls of my home, and there is no one to judge me. Where cultural narrowness widens up and embrace me in its arms. Where I can breathe freely without heavy burden of boundaries occupying my mind.

Religion is never the problem. Religion is just a code that defines an individual’s life. Culture and traditions are what define rules for free societies, just to abandon them in an eternal invisible dungeon.

In the society where I live, I can’t step outside the walls of my home without a male person with me. Not because anyone of my family forbids me to do so. But because my society forbids me. Once a girl of my age steps outside, people start judging. They start binding their darkest thoughts with our emotions which results in massive destruction eventually. This isn’t happening all over my country. Their are many modern areas where going out alone is nothing like a problem for a girl. Girls appear to be satisfied with these cruel set of invisible rules but I may have a problem as I have proved to be weird in every sense.

When going out with my husband or father gives me a sense of protection and security, it also makes me valuable and respectable in the eyes of society. It makes me feel comfortable and I don’t have to worry about anything because taking my care is their responsibility then. And I admit, I wouldn’t be able to fight with the abnormalities that would have flourished in my society if girls would have been going out alone. This balance in nature is essential and here in my society, the balance come just like this way. Sometimes restrictions are good.

I can’t think about changing the norms because I won’t be able to handle the abnormality in balance of nature. I can just talk about my wishes and dreams. If I don’t like one thing out of many good things in my society, I have a right to express it but still, at the end, I end up loving it more. After all, no matter how many bad traits your beloved posses, you can’t stop loving him.

In my dreams, when I feel lonely, I want to go outside a take a walk instead of siting in my room, crying like a baby. I can’t go out in the morning to jog and I can’t throw out my frustration by running hard. I can’t wander in the city, I can’t stare at the birds and trees while sitting in a quiet corner. I can’t listen to shouting kids while passing by them and I can’t be a part of those silent sea waves that touch the beach. I am free but I feel like I was born in a prison and since then, I have been living in it. I know how beautiful the world outside is but I can’t go and feel it. I want to enjoy my loneliness instead of detesting it.

In my dreams, I just see that when I step out, people don’t judge me. Women don’t roll their eyes weirdly and men don’t start whispering and staring. I just want that people consider me as respectable as they do when I am with my husband or father. I just want that they clear out their minds and eyes of bad judgment and let me do my work. I just want a society where no one feels a need to poke into the lives of others.

We are beautiful, we just need to apply the rules of this society in a positive way rather than being negative. I guess this little wish of mine isn’t that bad. Or may be, that wish will remain in my dreams forever.




40 thoughts on “In My Dreams….

  1. Reading your post, it made me realize that’s exactly how I want to see this world. Not world to be particular, our society in which we live in. I’m honestly frustrated at times when people stare, not because a girl is not wearing the right clothes or something, just because they have developed a habit of it. They just have to stare. Loved your post how you struck all the different dimensions. You are a versatile writer Lala πŸ™‚

    • Yeah I feel exactly the same about this staring stuff. Judging you bu the looks is awful. But that is what our society seem to grab tightly and not letting go of. I really wish things get the way we want πŸ™‚ Love you for such a thoughtful comment my dear friend, you made me smile with this beautiful word of appreciation. Love you loads, always ❀

      • Personally, I think why society can’t seem to let go is because they are not taught. I blame it on the parents who don’t teach their sons better, who don’t teach them the real meaning of Islam. Our society will never change until we embrace our religion for what it is…it’s a sad sad spectacle indeed.

        It was my pleasure Lala Rukh, love you too ❀

  2. I don’t believe a perfect place, like in your dreams, exist anywhere in the world. We must live with imperfections to enjoy the perfections. But we can choose which place and which imperfections we are willing to put up with. One day we might have both. Susanne

    • Oh yeah Susanne, your thought rings true to me. Nothing in this world can be perfect after all. but we cant stop our eyes to see dreams and our hearts to wish for them. Comprising at the right time saves from many destruction. Love your thoughts and your presence here. Hope to see you back ! Much Love ❀

  3. Be patient, dear Lala, I understand how you feel, life in Egypt is similar. In the cities girls have more freedom and ability to move about. But where I am out in the countryside, girls don’t step out much without their husband or father. Safety is a big issue, and in a culture/society that doesn’t offer much protection for a woman outside of her home, it’s not a good idea to roam around alone. That kind of freedom is better expressed in much safer places! I wish it was different, too, but I am sooo thankful for my little computer and big world it connects me to – safe and beautiful and has everything possible I could ever wish to see, alhamdulillah!
    and it’s always a treat to see you, Lala, all my love to you, sweetheart! β™₯β™₯β™₯ ;^)

    • Yes yes, circumstances are exactly the same here in Pakistan. In which country do you live my friend ? I wonder how come I never asked you. You are right, this computer world is such a relief sometimes. It gives you a chance to take some break out of the reality and live in fantasy world where you can see your wishes getting fulfilled. Love you Aisha, You are the best. I wish you have a bright week. Much love to you ❀

  4. I think that’s a beautiful dream, but it does make me sad that it isn’t reality. It’s easy to take for granted the freedoms that I have – even the ones that seem so basic, like being able to go for a walk alone. I hope things change (that process can be slow) and that one day you can walk without fear or judgment.

    • You are right Janna, we take lots of things for granted without even realizing this very fact. I am so glad you get to enjoy all my dreams πŸ™‚ I wish someday I get it too. Hope you are doing good these days. Much love to you ❀

  5. Lala! you are so full of life and that refelcts in your words and writings as it does reflect in your dreams as well. The anguish of a dream unfulfilled is very well captured. Hope this dream doesnt remain a mere dream… you wake up to see it fulfilled some day soon!

    • Oh my sweetheart, all these wishes and prayers for me coming from you mean a lot. I wish the same, for me and for you as well. Love you so much for paying a visit to read my thoughts. Hugs for you ❀

  6. I belong to such society and I have imagined having a place of beauty and freedom as you mentioned but as I grew up I realized that I am thinking about the biggest impossibility… So it is saddening to be belonging to a society that snatches away female’s right of freedom nd yet we call ourselves free and independent..
    good post and nice blog πŸ™‚

    • You are right cascading thoughts, our cultures try to kill the human inside us and may be that is one reason for humanity to become scarce. I hope you get your wishes fulfilled someday. Avail the chances if they come your way. Thanks so much for your support. Hope to see you around. Much love ❀

  7. Full human freedom is the greatest right..yes right!.. that Allah gives us..
    And only humans can take that away through devices of language.. culture..
    and yes! religion too..

    The languages.. religions.. and cultures of human beings are diverse but the thing is..

    Humans as created by Allah and their natural environments are diverse too…

    Cookie cutter languages.. cultures.. and religions don’t work for the diversity that Allah blesses human BEING as nature true..

    For example.. scientific studies show that only around 30 percent of human beings are only monogamous leaning..the rest is a spectrum as well as studies on homosexuality that
    indicates that there is a spectrum there with some homosexual leanings among 96% any
    general a diverse spectrum of sexual orientation and gender orientation too..when the truth comes out..and the penalty is not social/cultural/religious rejection..OR even prison.. as is the case when the doors of truth are not closed..and hidden as such…

    i am in the 30% of only monogamous human beings..and in the 4% of totally heterosexual human would be easy for me to get on my high horse and tell everyone they should be a strong..yes super strong..martial artist expert of a man..and call everyone else a sissy for not moving around 10 miles a day and lifting 720LBS..with my legs.. and other extreme accomplishments of human potential..and no i did not always exercise this human potential so i could easily say everyone else needs to pull up their bootstraps like i did to make the change…

    But no.. i don’ i know what it feels like to be the weakest..poorest..most numb in body..mind..heart..soul and spirit.. losing almost all connection with Allah too…

    Physical illness took all my strength and human being away…

    But no..i never got mad at i know Allah is on this journey with me..and there is no escaping Allah..and intuitively i know this existence goes on the Grace of Allah that is well beyond my pay grade as a silly little human being to understand..fully all there is to know about Allah..

    When people ATTEMPT to put chains on Allah ..even the 4 letters.. that can chain the FULLEST essence that IS ALLITIS..ALLASONE..MOTHER NATURE TRUE..AKA GOD2..with the context of restrictive languages..cultures..and yes religions 2..

    i only Giggle as i have met the mighty force of ALLAH FACE TO FACE..and no human being is a match to tell Allah who Allah is..or what Allah is going to do next..

    i giggle like a little school girl.. when people call Jesus a GOD..and for fair and balanced coverage.. i laugh when people call Muhammad the last prophet..and i promise you this..

    If both of these men ARE here today..they WILL be do more than laugh..

    They WILL be very angry at what has become of their humble origins and ways of spreading true human freedom for man and women fairly and same!

    Yes.. tHere likely WILL be fire in their eyes..

    But i will tell you this too..

    Very few people in actual religions or cultures that so call support these two prophets..WILL acknowledge any importance about them at all..if they came face to face with them in reality now..

    As both men as true prophets of the GOD of meeting Allah in the desert and one meeting Allah in a solitary cave..both! will advocate! the GOD given rights of Nature of both man and woman for retaining full reproductive freedoms to continue to spread the diversity of Allah that makes humans strong..and that my why another 70 or so percent of human beings are not inherently monogamous leaning no matter what language..culture or religion does to repress or oppress their nature..

    Where there is TRUE FULLEST ALLAH GIVE RIGHT OF freedomS! humans as evolved by Allah become stronger..and yes this does include full reproductive freedom…

    Where there is not this freedom..the result is two fold..the species gets overall weaker..and not as likely to survive as a whole..and when humans have their basic core of reproductive freedom repressed or oppressed whether it is the woman that does not want children or the woman who wants to have children by many different men..or the man or woman who cannot naturally maintain monogamous ways..or the man or woman that is inherently gifted by Allah as homosexual to make the species stronger in other there is often more time to inspire the tribe..when one is not changing dirty metaphor.. if you will..

    The tribe gets stronger not weaker…as a whole..and this is what Allah ‘wants’ ! not a wimpy a metaphor too…

    But not only that.. any human..yes man or woman..who lives with repression of their self inflicted prison..AWAY FROM FULLEST ALLAH GIVEN FREEDOMS! or oppression by others in any of their GOD given natural human rights..can AND WILL get depressed..anxious..aggressive..and sadly truly the core cause of all violence too..taking! away the natural GOD given rights of freedom of man or woman…including finding subsistence in food and drink..and shelter too…

    A lot of words thERE and yes! in my opinion of what i consider truth…

    But the bottom line is..

    You are not weird…

    Allah calls you to be free…

    Some people phrase it the call of the wild..!

    And yes! the call of the the call of Allah true…!

    No religion..and NO BOOk is necessary to understand the call of Allah…

    Allah gifts us with it from birth…

    Language..culture..religion..and at times.. books..

    Take the core of Allah’s gifts away from us..!




    IF i lived where you lived..

    I WILL be in prison..or dead..much worst that not being socially accepted…

    That can be the price of exercising! TRUE ALLAH GIVEN NATURE THERE..

    AND YES.. i still have to fight for it here every now of every now..

    But Alllah makes it all worth it..

    The reward of Allah is now and then..and forevermore now!

    That is the magic of allah true..

    It is beyond any materialistic reward away from mother nature true..


    Allah..GOD..and so many other silly little human metaphored words for something
    so great that no word will ever describe


    i hope none of this upsets you..i know you love your country and i love mine just as much..

    but freedom never starts or stays..




    YES OF ALLaH2!


    THAT ALLAH FULLY SUPPORTS..AND i am able to fight to keep

    wHere i live @least now!

    Sorry..! it makes me angry that you are in prison as i have been there too..

    And again.. i promise would likely make Jesus aka Yeshua and Muhammad
    much more angry than i!

    How do i know…

    Allah tell me so …

    And please don’t try to tell me

    it’s all in my head..

    as it goes much much further than that!

    for someone who has been tHere and done IT!
    truly in reality!NOW!

    Respectfully, with love to you..

    But i’m sorry..!not respectfully to either my culture or your culture
    or either of our raised in religions that twist the nature of Allah or Allah’s prophets
    to the hate of taking human Allah/GOD given rights away!

    No you don’t deserve to be in prison..

    And Allah backs you up! and i can only hope at this point..

    That you see it with more than eyes!…

    Love’s what TRUEST HUMAN freedom’s all about! in the Sacred Allah way1!

    • Well…. It took me almost fifteen minutes to read through your comment lol but I feel honored that you elaborated your point with examples and instances from your personal life. I agree with your thoughts about positivity and freedom generally. Glad to see you all connected with Allah…. Thank you so much for all the nice information and words. I appreciate you explaining all that. Much love to you ❀

      • You are welcome….

        i meet three dear friends on the Internet..
        who help to bring be much closer to my
        body..mind..heart..soul..spirit..and beyond
        wITh Allah…

        One asks for Logic…
        One asks for Love…
        One asks for Answers..Truth and Pain…

        Logic..Love..Answers..Truth AND Pain
        are all the same…

        Allah’s way…

        And in a way..

        i am Allah’s Genie….

        And those are the most important wishes

        to be Fulfilled..
        of ALL of Allah’s way…

        Allah gives to me…..

        And NO..!
        IT’s not an easy responsibility…
        in fact..!
        in the world of standard
        culture IT is known as
        YES! ALLAH IT!
        but Allah
        makes Impossible


        LOVE YOU TOO
        AND LOL LALA!
        AS ALLAH’S
        THE BIGGEST!
        CLOWN TOO!
        WHO! IS! IT! ONE2!


  8. our dreams reflect some of the things we wish to be so…you write your reflections from your heart and that is a beautiful activity. staying positive throughout life…a bit of a challenge. keep writing Lala…all good things come together in the end. peace.

    • Thank you very much Sun ! I appreciate your kind words. I will keep writing as it gives me a chance to live my dreams. Hope you have a bright day πŸ™‚ Much love ❀

  9. Oh dear sweet Lala. I can feel your heart in this post. You’re sadness. You’re longing. I don’t really know what to say, my dear. You live in a culture where there are certain norms that must (or should) be abided. And that is very difficult. You sound like a free spirit that loves to experience the simple pleasures in life. The smell of rain, the sight of nature, the rush of vigorous free exercise. I wish I could pull you out and let you live out your dreams. I will pray for you Lala.

    • Oh stacilys you always reach my heart with your comments and I don’t know how ! I just love you. Yes you are right, changing these norms is different but I guess life gives you chances to fulfill your dreams you just have to reach out to the chances. Love you for such thoughtful words. Thanks for praying for me… Take lots of care. Sending you lots of love ❀

      • Ohhhhhh, thank you Lala. You are so sweet, and a really genuine girl. I love you too sweetie and will keep praying for you.
        Big hug and smiles.
        πŸ™‚ ❀

  10. We hope that one day you’ll be free, dear Lala and that your dreams may come true. It’s ashamed that in one part of the world you can do everything you dream of, and in the other part of the world you have to live like you described. The World is One, but now the people have to follow it as one. Hopeful and Peaceful Pawkisses are on the way πŸ™‚ Take care ❀

    • Thank you my dear friend for such nice wishes for me. Yes there is a part of world where things are like that, but with this one bad things there are many better things too from the other parts. So I guess balance is essential..we don’t get everything we want ! Love you so much…Thanks for visiting my world for some time…. Hugs to you ❀

  11. yes….norms are this way to some extent. But, lets always be impulsive to change whatever is hurting or unfair. we may not have chance to do so, at some stage , but let there be hope. and to achieve our goal whenever its possible.
    take care sweet lala rukh. stay happy.

  12. Emotional muscles are beautifully stretched out! You say you want to feel the beauty out there but I think you have already felt it and that is where you say ” it is beautiful”.Whole world is perfectly beautiful with all its imperfections. It is just the matter of perception. Be with your self in silence and that transcends everything.

Please share your thoughts, I value them !

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