Wounds That Turned To Wisdom

Credits : This is no dream by Alessio Radice
Credits : This is no dream by Alessio Radice

There was a time when things were different.

At that time, I wasn’t aware how life’d treat me. I was in school when I came home with my first hole. After repressing the pain while I had lunch with my family, I locked myself inside my room and bled for too long.

Then, the next day, I came home with two more holes. One on my upper thigh and the other one on my shoulder. A stinging pain sprout out of them that made my whole body, a wound.

The next day, after returning back home, I left my mother shouting and hustled towards my room while leaving a trail of blood on the white carpet. I slammed my bag on the bed and lifted my shirt in front of the mirror. Half a dozen holes were revealed that dotted my stomach and chest. It was hard, bleeding for hours that day. I needed someone to treat my wounds with gauze. Instead, they were left open. It took half the night to stem the flow of blood and I was exhausted. Excruciating pain was the price of healing.

In the morning my mom made my favorite pancakes for breakfast. I wished she’d have kissed me on the forehead instead of stuffing me with those delicious pancakes.

I returned home that day, more battered than usual, covered with holes from head to toe. I gazed inside my mother’s brown eyes, longing to see the reflection of my holes. Instead, they were filled with every other dilemma our family endured.

I locked my room that day, and stood beside the mirror with blood pit-pattering on the linoleum. The holes looked like tiny flickering tongues. A sucking wound on my back, square between my shoulder blades was hurting me the most. It was too wide, too deep and a gentle touch brought back the memory of my best friend at school. May be that’s why the wound was the worst.

I stood there for too long, dribbling blood on the surface of clean mirror and staring at my face. The taste of loneliness mixed with the sleepless night was bitter. I heard my family talking, my brothers fighting over stupid things. My mother knocked at my room’s door. She waited for an answer but silence was all she could hear while I struggled with my cries, cupping my mouth firmly with both hands. She screamed and called my dad.

I got up, wiped my eyes brutally with one hand while holding a knife in the other. After hiding it under the bed I slammed the door open. My eyes saw fierce expressions on their faces and their lips moved angrily but my ears heard nothing. A shrill sound as if a drill was making a hole in the wood echoed in my head.

After it was all over, I shook my head and locked the door, again. My steps felt heavy as I motioned towards the mirror. The two days old wounds sprang open. Blood spilled out of the crusty scabs that were peeled off.

In the morning, I left the bloodied bed sheets as they were and headed towards school with my head cast towards the ground. I came back that day with more holes but they didn’t hurt that much as they did before. Because, I made dozens of holes that mustered over my torso, to avoid pain from the ones given by others.

“Soon these holes will all turn into scars and they’d be the reminders of how tough I’m“, I thought. The light had started entering inside me, through my wounds.

I bled that day on my bed but the door was wide open. My parents passed by as I lay there, un-noticed, for they had their own monsters to fight with -and I had my own.

“She was not quite what you would call refined.
She was not quite what you would call unrefined.
She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot.”

That was the day I promised myself, that I’ll try to fix my daughter’s holes with gauze, made with love and care. But as they say, life is what happens to you while you are busy making ‘plans’.

Every one of us has to unfold one’s own myths.

———————————————————————————

This 695 word story is written for Speak Easy. The task this time was to use “There was a time when things were different” as the first line and to give a reference to a photo that was of parrots. I should admit that, while writing this story, my mind started wandering in my own past and when I read my story now, it seems more like my real life story than fiction. I have decided to leave it unchanged, as it reminds me of my ‘fresh’ old wounds.

This story can be an end, or a new beginning of my writing career. I am getting married this coming Friday and life had been hard on me, lately.

Meet you after my wedding ! Miss me and pray for me, Please. Love you all.

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44 thoughts on “Wounds That Turned To Wisdom

  1. “Zafar aadmi usko na janiyega ho woh kaisa hi sahib-e-fehm-o-zaka,
    Jise aish mein yad e khuda na rahee,jise taish mein khauff e khuda na raha.””

    “Zafar call him not a person,no matter how pure and pious he seems,
    one who forgets God in times of luxury and the one who fears not God in times of anger.”
    Last Mughal Emperor

    -Bahadur Shah Zafar

  2. Well..today is the 6th of April..

    and i will ya tell ya this..

    from now until the end of my ability as human i am gonna come here the 6th of every month..

    as long as this potential avenue to communicate with ya is available…

    And i am gonna tell ya something2..

    in hope and prayer..
    that either now or ‘tHere’ ya will ‘hEAR’ my words…

    So today i will tell ya..
    that i pray for yOur peace
    and well being of body in health..

    Mind…

    Heart..

    Soul..

    Spirit…

    And Beyond of Allah…

    6 paths of being in bliss…

    NO matter what ya challenge is..
    Allah is with ya..

    and i hope all blessings are coming yOur way
    to
    day..

    NOW!

    And the best blessings i would love to hear is that ya
    are happy and content as ya are…

    But if not..

    Remember in Allah there is always hope..
    no matter how dark now may seem to be..

    The now of future heaven is not necessarily the
    potential now of present hell..

    But regardless…

    Allah is always with ya…:)
    so best blessings to ya..

    Until the 6th of next month…:)

    Always remember please..

    True friends…

    never die..

    As long as heart
    exists…

    Love ya..
    friend

  3. Hey, you guys SERIOUSLY need to change the theme of the blog. I simply cannot read it. It’s so SO difficult to read wright now!

  4. HOLY GOD, you’re getttiiinnngggg marrrriiiedddd… much much LOVVVEEEEE and loadsa happy wishes and tightest hugggsss.. wishing you the happiesst of happy marriages that ever tooookkk placceee ❤ ❤ ❤

  5. within the forming of words whispers eased through each line…
    I hope all is well in your world and you will be back soon…
    Take Care….You Matter….and Know you are missed! very much
    (and a Belated congratulations)
    )0(
    maryrose

  6. Well..it’s been close to a month since you are married and i am hoping you would at least be back by now to tell us how you are doing…

    And NO i have not forgotten you and i will never forget you and yes i miss you friend..

    I do not know if you even have internet access now..so i am actually hoping that is why you haven’t been back as i would rather hope you are okay without internet access..than not okay with internet access..

    Well anyway..i did try to friend you on Facebook and do not know if you check that either…

    i do believe you are my friend..and i will always be waiting to talk with you again..whenever you are up to it or have internet access or overcome whatever limitation may exist..

    lovexx..fred

  7. Your posts are so beautiful, I am loving your new blog. I wish you a life filled with happiness, self-less love, and adventure. May you find peace in your heart and experience all of the joys of this world, you are in my prayers and thoughts.

  8. Hi Lala. Just noticed the comment went to another post, the one which was below, sorry. it was meant to be here.

    This post kept me hooked until the last line. first of all best wishes for your newly married life! secondly lots of love to you and thirdly and most importantly I am your fan! you wrote this piece brilliantly.

    The other good thing is i happened to read the next post too 🙂 again a brilliant piece. love the way you write. can feel the intensity of your words. too glad to find you here. Best wishes.

  9. Wow, what a strong and amazing piece. You have a gift girl. And what a perfect title. I really believe that we grow in leaps and bounds through our struggles and difficulties in life.
    Thanks for sharing.=)
    Staci

  10. Lala this was a painful piece dear.. but well expressed.
    hope you not just had a great Wedding but you have a great Marriage as well.
    My Love and prayers with you my dear.

  11. Lala, that was captivating. I usually bore easily and sometimes after the first paragraph, but the message and emotion grew stronger with each new sentence. I don’t know if that was just a writing assignment with some past life sentiment thrown in or a full-blown biography of a painful memory. Nevertheless, it was well done!

    Love your blog!

  12. I was so so stuck with your writing that i wanted to gulp all words at a stretch to know what will happen next :O Amazing!!!!!!!!

    wish u a great wedding ahead! may god bless u! may the colors of wedding fade away ur grey shades of life!! Amen!

  13. It is a hard lesson to learn if you are thrown into a life where you need to heal your own wounds and cannot look to others for more than pancakes. Wishing you the strength to heal yourself and maybe find someone that will help you heal all those old wounds and cope with the new ones

  14. Lala, I hope you had a beautiful wedding. Congratulations!!! May your married life be filled with happiness, health, prosperity, and laughter.

    This was such a powerful piece of work that you’ve written!

  15. Well..i certainly cannot begin to feel your pain..at this extreme..but i can only try to imagine it..and it’s not pleasant..

    Everything comes to me so easy..it seems..now..but it’s getting so much harder for you now..friend..

    And i guess maybe this may be goodbye..for now..

    But i will always remember you as a muse for Allah’s Love..

    And i guess no one could do anything greater for anyone else

    than that..

    So..i don’t know what else to tell you..
    But i love you..
    friend..
    and you will always be a big
    part of
    my
    heART

    So.. as long as i live..
    you never die..neither body..
    or spirit..
    you live on in my eyes..
    and words too….
    as i’m sure IS the same
    for many others
    here..
    NOW2

  16. Allah Bless you both with a long happy healthy life together, filled with love everyday more than every yesterday, Dear Sweet Sister Lala! My love and du’a is with you xoxoxo ;^)

  17. Lala – have a wonderful wedding and I do hope the rest of the week is not hard on you.

    This story was difficult to read and I’m sure it was probably difficult to write, or maybe it was part of a healing process? I don’t know. I do wish you love and light and will be thinking of you.

  18. Come back soon Lala… Come back soon… Aaj aur zyaada nahin bolunga… May your wounds really turn into wisdom… May you never be wounded again :(… Always waiting for you… your brother…

  19. Dear Lala, please don’t be so sad. Reading your stories I feel your sadness. “Life is what you make it.” Lots of Mubarik on your upcoming wedding. I hope your life partner gives you so much love that your sadness becomes a thing of the past.
    Mubarik tumeh khushi ka yeh sama
    Mubarik, Mubarik, raho shadman
    Love and hugs.

  20. The post reminded me of my brokenness and struggles too… emerging out from our experiences, we come out of it wiser and stronger.

    Congrats on your wedding!
    Wishing you joy, love and happiness in on your big day. 🙂

  21. All the healing love, as pixie said.
    All life’s love, Lala. I wish you the very best of every, every thing.

    The story was very painful, and I honestly felt it. The way you’ve always described ‘pain’ in such sharp, stabbing details, it actually pierces something inside.
    But ‘light’ enters through wounds, and it will. May this story not mark an end to your writing career, I hope to see you expressing life in other colors very soon. I believe Allah has packed some amazingly vibrant colors in your time’s pack, and that your life ahead will be joyous and blessed iA.
    Lots of prayers and best wishes,
    n duh I won’t forget you,
    ~
    Maria.

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