She is stirring Chicken curry in a black stainless steel pot when I see these thin tiny wrinkles on her hands. She pours some of the Gravy with my favorite chicken piece in a white bowl and hands it to me.
“I’ve made your favorite food today” A confused smile captures her beautiful face.
Her eyes fighting with a fear that her daughter might still be angry over last night’s fight and her heart assuring and reassuring her, No she isn’t.
One warm desperate tear flows out of my eye.
I can see my soul that gets up and hugs her passionately leaving my stone-heart body behind.
I take a bite of chicken piece that cuddles up with the tears stuck in my throat and a soothing peace occupies her face.
She puts a glass of water beside my plate leaves the kitchen.
All these years I kept complaining to myself and she kept cooking my favorite dishes. She never understood that I wanted more than my favorite chicken pieces and I never realized that I’ve to tell her that.
Nodding my head upside down wasn’t easy that time but her face glowed with an ethereal shine and my heart swam into the pleasure. The pleasure of watching happiness on her face because of me, for the first time. This time, she didn’t even try to hide it, she ACTUALLY hugged me.
She didn’t realize that all my life, I never ate the pieces I didn’t like.
I’m waiting for the surprises life has to offer after 10 more days.
I wonder how beautiful I’d be looking, wearing my bridal dress on a body in which a stone pumps white blood in the ruptured veins and it spills out on the grave of broken dreams caged in shackles of love and respect for my parents.
I hate chicken curry now and she doesn’t know that.
I wish she could know, ever.
White Shadows 
Reblogged this on ⓑⓔⓨⓞⓝⓓ ⓨⓞⓤⓡ ⓣⓗⓞⓤⓖⓗⓣⓢ .
Beautiful post,Lala !!!As others said,it’s heart warming and heart wrecking at the same time !!!
I’m sure life will surprise you after you’re married, Lala…at least with your own self made chicken….without curry 😉 You’ll look fine in your dress, a beautiful soul in a beautiful dress.. 🙂 Soft Pawkisses 🙂
Such a touching, heart-wrenching post. It was brave of you to write it!
heart touching. I did not know children are so sensitive. I too am a mujrim of my daughter. She is happy now. but but….
This is a favorite topic of mine: Food, love, memory, speaking up, mothers.
You express the tension between your mother and you in a compelling way here. Hearbreaking and heartwarming at the same time.
This was beautiful and touching. Thank you and cheers 🙂
[…] https://shadowsofthedivine.wordpress.com/2014/01/22/i-dont-need-chicken-pieces/ […]
THere IS A time when children ARE born with no matter of who the father IS as the village raised the children..and everyone IS family..and people really connect as their very survival dependS ON connection…
IN THIS WORLD women ARE the leaders as well as men..sometimes more so..than even….
Everyone shareS..freely..as love IS necessary to survive….
This IS before agriculture…
Then agriculture..comes..and time to be still..and yes a stagnant mind and body..can make an illusion of evil..for all of mankind…
Well..then comes the idea that wealth IS important..and yes my friend..this is where the Dowry started..as it becomes important..to insure that wealth..in collecting things..property ..or whatever..IS THE GOAL IN LIFE…
TRUE ‘EVIL’ IS BORN…IN WORSHIPPING MATERIALS..RATHER THAN JUST BEING..LOVING..AND LIVING.. LIFE…WHERE THE GOAL IS SURVIVAL..AND NOT SOME IDOL OF A THING..THAT IS NO LIFE…LOVE..OR REALLY.. OH MY GOD.. EVEN FUN..OR LAUGH….
YA SEE.. Muhammad and Jesus..came to deliver a message..that this IS not a way to go..that this..is simply illusion..that IS not true human happiness of divine love..sharing..caring..and even what wild wolves share in the snow…
But OH MY GOD..NO ONE REALLY LISTENED…not many at least…
THESE new agricultural..patriarchal ways of control and dominance..over others..for material gains..continue and even ARE PUT FORTH..AS TRUTH..TO SPOIL THE WORDS OF THOSE TWO PROPHETS….
But NOW..people are listening to TRUTH ALL OVER THE WORLD..
AS THE TRUTH OF HUMAN BEING NEVER CHANGES….
AND YES NOW..
THE CHILD OF HUMAN STARTS HIS/HER RULE..NEITHER MOTHER OR FATHER..AS ALL COME EQUAL…
IN THE EYES OF GOD.
THE BLOOD RUNS COLD OF YOUR MOTHER ..YOUR FATHER..AND YA..PERHAPS NOW…
BUT ONE DAY YoUR DAUGHTERS AND SONS…
WILL ONCE AGAIN..RUN WARM…..
TO SIMPLY LIVE..AS ONE…
TRUTH CAN NOT BE HIDDEN..FOR MORE THAN TEN OR TWELVE THOUSAND HUMAN YEARS…
That is about how long agriculture..has been around…
Moving .. hunting… gathering.. sharing… loving..
is the way of the little child….to continue to live life…
in the Heaven
of
NO
w
!
Your story inspired my words dear..this is nothing personal for any hope of anything i can do for ya now..
But it is truth..simple and plain.. as my wolf friend in the snow…could tell ya..
if hOWLing could SPEAK words..2ya
I cannot tell ya how sad i feel for ya..as i can not give this to ya..
my truth th@IS…
It is always for ya to find..dear..and I WISH you the best and weALTH OF LOVE…
And i only wish the light of your wedding dress..IS IN yOur eyes..on your wedding day..
for simply being love my dear is all…
DIVINE LOVE..the eternal spirit..
that lives
in
yOur
soul….
So DIVINE love.. and my tears free flOWLy for YA…
As you did help to open up my soul..and heart..in..
what seems like ten or twelve thousand years ago now…
As divine LOVE is reAlly eternity…
To live in IT IS nowforevermore…in HEAVENOW..
BlISs!
To live out side of IT…
Is
simply
HELL..THE ABYSS..THE PLACE OF THE BLOOD THAT RUNS COLD….
Peace to you friend..and blessings always..to come yOUR way….
and LOVE.. YES DIVINE LOVE TOO…
ALWAYSNOWONEFOREVERMORE…..
WITH YA2..
MY FRIEND.
SOmetimes it can be so hard to get the words out we most want or need to express.
I know exactly what that feels like…
Wow this is a wonderful read.
Love, Mehak
An awesome writing by all standards, Lala… 🙂
Isn’t it strange sometimes we become expressive to the whole world except to the very people we need to be with… Perhaps,because we expect them to know us better, we wish them to read what hasn’t taken a shape of words yet.
Or perhaps, we’re afraid of the moment, when they’ll know, but won’t understand or won’t accept…
From start of the scene to its depth, and subtle understated aura of tension between the characters, along the subtext. Marvelous!!
A very touching post. I’ve nominated you for the wordpress Sunshine Award. Please visit: http://topofthetent.com/2014/01/22/sunshine-award-another-thank-you/ to see what you have to do to accept. Please leave a comment if you have time and don’t forget to add the badge to your blog if you accept. 🙂
Hi Lala ,its sad but you are a strong young lady to let this dish effects you .Any way its a beautiful post.jalal
I guess our moms grew up in times and worlds where children were clothed…and fed… But not hugged or listened to. It is so hard to break that cycle. I hope you will have the strength. Do your parents know you write? Know what you write?
10 days? Aj kia hy? 22nd. God, I’ve to comeeeee.
That’s such a lovely post Lala….loving it ❤ 🙂 Parents=Eternal Love.
🙂 Kya baat hai yaar… Kaisa lagaa wo hug?
You know sister… parents are peculiar characters… really… They are the most caring people that one can ever get. Tu unpe kitna bhi gussa kar… unhe kitna bhi bhalaa bura keh… They always care for their children… Bus problem yahi hai ki kabhi kabhi wo hamein samajh nahin paate hain… Aur kabhi kabhi galtiyaan kar dete hain… Aur phir thoda sa ego aa jaata hai saamne… What say?
Aur ek suggestion doon… Apni mummy ko jaake abhi lage lagaa ke aa… To kya hua ki misunderstandings ki deewaar khari hai… To kya hua ki communication gap hai… The fact remains ki tu aur teri mummy dono pyaar ke bhookhe hain… Zara unke nazariye se bhi soch ke dekh… So… jo bhi ho… thoda sa pyaar de ke aa… uske baad dekh… kya hota hai… Aakhir MAA ka pyaar bhi kuchh hota hai… Hai na…
Tu 10 din baad ke surprises ki baat karti hai na… Yeh ek baat maan le meri… life tujhe aaj hi se surprise karna chaaloo karegi… Wo bhi achchhe waale surprises degi 🙂
There are two pillars of life which can never leave you… Just the feeling that they are around you is a bliss… 🙂
Jaa ab… Best of luck
Aur experience bataanaa 🙂
Grammar…
“I hate chicken curry now and she DOESN’T know that.”
Bus… I told you… You are improving… 🙂
Oh Little Sister,
😦
When I read these my heart aches for you more and more. Sometimes there are no words so I hug you tight.
My Sakura is wrapped up on my knee. I wish you could see her as she would make you smile and she gives the best kisses ever! Lol My little nephew is now with me also and we could both play with him. He’s a real sweaty. Nite from down under, Big Sis xxxxxx